idk how to describe this

Every time I hope this line will change and Mia just straights calls her a bitch instead of a jerk.

Personally i like it how she calls her a jerk instead of a bitch. It teaches young girls who watch this movie that foul language gets you nowhere in life. And that they wouldn’t fall to the bully’s level. Maybe its just me, but i like how she says jerk better.

or maybe it’s the fact that the Princess Diaries is a rated-g kids’ movie

You ever find yourself enjoying Star Wars but also thinking like, damn this galaxy really invented laser swords before they invented therapy.

eve was a girlboss for eating that fruit. adam was a himbo for doing what his wife said. i will not elaborate

you literally do not need to queen you said it loud and clear

Alison was such a popular name in medieval England that authors would name women characters Alison to indicate that she was supposed to be a very normal kind of person

People in northern England in medieval times used to refer to themselves as I while people from the south referred to themselves as ich so you can tell when a northern character is imitating a southern accent when they start saying “ich will” instead of “I will” or vice versa

Friars/traveling priests these days are remembered as very holy figures. Not necessarily so in medieval times! They had a reputation for going from town to town and boinking random unmarried women.

Yes beer was given to children but the beer that was given to children or consumed at most meals was really low in alcohol content. Think modern day kombucha. High alcohol stuff was for adults.

Medieval peasants grew a lot of stuff in personal gardens like onions, garlic, and rosemary so even though they were limited in what they were allowed to hunt or grow legally they probably had some very tasty meals.

In the very early middle ages even the nobility were illiterate. Pretty much only monks knew how to read and write. William the conqueror? Was most likely illiterate.

I’m losing my mind, please tell us more

After the Normans conquered England and nobility started to learn how to read, there’s a period between about 1066 and 1200-ish where all “English” literature in the sense that it was from England, was written in French. When things were written in English again it had already merged with French somewhat so what happened in between Old English and Middle English? idk.

These days the stereotype is that men are very horny and women are reserved and aren’t as concerned with sex. For most of European history that stereotype was actually reversed! It was still the same amount of sexist though.

more

People in the British isles have been continuously making some version of oat cakes since at least the time of the Roman conquest. The definition of an oat cake though, varies from region to region even today. In some regions they are similar to oatmeal cookies while in other regions they are more like pancakes.

Medieval historians weren’t terribly concerned with accuracy. More likely they were concerned with entertainment. So in order to rid themselves of criticism when they were found out for making stuff up they often cite other people or books that may or may not exist or say that they heard it from this other guy so it’s not them making stuff up oh no it was that other guy. So that’s why we often have to depend on archeology to understand what actually happened and medieval “historical” texts are more often the study of literary experts rather than historians.

go kart

My ideal date? You release me into the wild to hunt me for sport on your remote island BUT I’m not very good at hiding so you find me within 20 minutes. You hold the gun to my face but there is something so earnest in my eyes and hands that you cannot carry through. You pick me up and carry me back to your mansion. I am so polite and charming that you nurse me back to health. You grow to love and trust me despite the fact you’re holding me hostage after I fell of a charter vessel bound for Brazil. You buy me new clothes and have them shipped to the island. I kiss you good morning every day. You propose marriage. I accept. We skype in a priest and get married with the butler as our witness. That night I kill you and the butler. I redistribute your wealth. I live in the mansion on the abandoned island for the rest of my days. I study snail ecology. I never remarry. You were the love of my life but you were too dangerous and evil to live. I am buried next to you. The tides eventually wash our bodies away. Into the depths of the ocean, together.

id go to like, an olive garden

I immediately affliated this to a Kylo/Rey fanfic.

No. This is a gays only event. Go home.

this is the only good addition to my post so far

*acquires a new hyperfixation* great! this should keep me going for the next 2 months or 24 hours

babe r u ok? u didn't post ur spotify wrapped

if i did people would know im drepressed and lgbtq