KrisisUnmanaged

Like Jason would say with this reverence and sweet little smile to someone, making eye contact across the room to Roy, "Oh, him? That's my boyfriend." Then he would turn to the person he's talking to, smile completely gone and stony eyes. "If anyone hurts him, they will die screaming."

Anyway, the important part is that they get platonically married, even do a goofy not-kiss where Roy covers Jason's mouth with his hand and then kisses the hand while Jason rolls his eyes. Neither of them are taking it at all seriously.

guys cover your eyes, don't encourage them

*Dick has added Roy to the chat*

*Dick has added Tim to the chat*

*Dick has added Duke to the chat*

Dick: I want a ducking explanation and I want it right the duck now.

Duke: 🦆

Tim: 🦆

Roy: i feel like this isnt the time for me to be funny

Dick: *fucking

Dick: *fuck

Dick: IT SURE THE DUCK ISN’T

Dick: FUCK

Duke:

Tim: why are duke and i even here? we didn’t do anything

Tim: not that you actually did anything wrong, roy. no offense

Roy: none taken bro

Duke: Awww we’re gonna be bros-in-law!

Roy:

Tim:

Duke: I knew it from the beginning, when I first met you in Jay’s kitchen.

Tim: lol you met him and thought “fuck yeah, he’s gonna marry my crazy ass brother.”

Duke: Yup 🙂‍↕️ My unhinged older brother and his favorite white boy

Tim: ahem

Duke: *favorite white boy who he doesn’t suck face with

Tim: ew

Tim: thank you but ew

Roy: i wanna be funny rn but dick is in this chat 👀😬

Dick: STILL WAITING ON AN EXPLANATION

Tim: still wondering why duke and i are here

Duke: I been thick, been fine, still a 10, still here, it’s all me

Duke:

Roy:

Dick: YOU’RE HERE BECAUSE YOU KNEW

Dick: YOU KNEW HE WAS PROPOSING. YOU HELPED HIM PICK THE RING. YOU NEVER TOLD ME.

Duke: Who the fuck are you yelling at? 🤨

Roy:

Tim: you just can’t help yourself 😂

Dick: I’m sorry for yelling, Duke

Dick: But I just need to understand why Roy planned to propose to MY brother without saying a word to me, and you and Tim were in on it without saying shit

Dick: I’m a big enough man to admit my initial reaction wasn’t the best

Tim: that’s one way to put it

Dick: And I’m really, honest to God not trying to make Jason and Roy’s big moment about me

Dick: But what the fuck, guys?

Roy: Okay, I’ll step in here.

Duke: Ooooh shit. Dick got him using proper punctuation and capitalization

Tim: first he lol’ed, then he serious’ed

Dick: I thought we were friends, Roy. How could you think hiding a plan to propose to my baby brother is okay?

Roy: Dick, you keep saying he’s YOUR brother. He’s Duke and Tim’s brother too. You don’t own him.

Roy: And that’s part of the reason I didn’t tell you. You get a little crazy when Jay’s involved. You’re protective of all your siblings, but Jason especially.

Roy: And I get it. The history makes it very obvious.

Roy: But sometimes you want to protect Jason so much that nothing is good enough. No armor is thick enough, no helmet is tough enough, and no romantic partner will ever be deserving enough. You want him to have the best of everything because you feel guilty about things that happened when you were younger.

Roy: That’s why I didn’t take it personally when you first found out we were dating. You’d react the same way with anybody because your precious baby brother deserves the world.

Roy: And I agree with you. Jay IS precious and he DOES deserve the world. Which is why I planned a proposal with the brothers I knew wouldn’t shoot down all of my ideas in search of perfection when that’s not what Jason even wants.

Roy: You mean well and everyone knows it, Dick. I just asked Duke, Tim, and Damian not to tell you because I knew you’d freak out. Damian didn’t want to lie to you, so he wished me luck but opted out.

Roy: I just wanted to be able to tell the guy I love that I can’t see my life without him. That was enough pressure without you adding to it.

Dick: …I didn’t realize I was doing all that.

Dick: I’m so sorry, Roy

Dick: @Duke @Tim I’m sorry.

Dick: I’ve been an asshole about this. You’re right, Roy.

Dick: It’s just…Duke and Tim, you weren’t here before.

Dick: BEFORE before

Dick: Roy’s absolutely right. I get protective of Jay because of shit neither of you were here for. It’s complicated and hard. That’s my shit to deal with and I’m sorry it spilled over like this.

Dick: The only part where I’ll disagree, Roy, is that I’d react the same with anybody.

Dick: I expect more from you because I know you, Roy. I know you’re a good man and you’re more than capable of being what my little brother needs.

Dick: And to be clear, you exceed expectations.

Duke:

Tim:

Tim: so why did you freak out? what the fuck?

Dick: My baby brother is all grown up and getting MARRIED

Dick: Underlying shit aside, I’ll freak out when any of you get married

Dick: Because you’re babies and you’re growing up 🥹

Tim: 🥹

Duke: 🥹

Roy:

Roy: So I’m gonna stay serious for 1 more minute because there’s another reason I didn’t ask you to be part of the proposal.

Duke: Aww shit

Tim: Here we go

Dick: ???

Roy: We want you to officiate the wedding.

Tim: 😮

Duke: Ohmahgah

Dick: Please excuse me for a moment

Duke:

If you type, write, draw, game, or generally use your hands a lot (especially if you’re prone to RSI or Carpal Tunnel!) try these stretches as both a preventative measure, and on the spot relief. Take care of yourself and your body, friends!

Start with hands up, fingers stretched out.  Stretch your thumb as far as you can over your palm. Hold and repeat 4 times.

Touch each finger to your thumb. Hold each for 30 seconds. Repeat on each hand 4 times.

Start with a fist. Open half way, hold for 2 seconds. Stretch fingers out, hold for 2 seconds. Repeat 4 times.

Start with one arm out, palm up. Pull your fingers back with your other hand. Hold for 10 seconds. Do the same with your other hand. Repeat 4 times

now, instead of maintaining a comprehensive, nuanced, and human-maintained encyclopedia by which to check your document, they have switched to an AI that just compares what you’ve written to what other people write in, say, Google Docs, and use the most commonly used iteration.

ever have it change something like “all intents and purposes” to “all intensive purposes” or “should’ve” to “should of”? that’s why!