Pearl

Clarification: I don’t hate this book, I love it, it’s amazing. It’s just that taking a step back and looking it out of context is still really funny. Especially the line “We participated in a genocide, Barney.”

ok but imagine them in their cartoon forms saying this dialogue i’m

can we have some context to this, perhaps?

There are a lot of interesting things about this post but the AK-47 shaped spear is what really got me

This is just as wild with the context

If you don’t have $30 going spare, check your local library. If they don’t have it, they can help you with interlibrary loan. Or they might just buy it - libraries want to carry books people will read!

we need to bring back the phrase "what business is it of yours" in a big way i'm serious

i know you can just say "none of your business" but phrasing it as a question with a jarringly formal tone is the ideal way to shoot an overfamiliar unwelcome overture dead in its tracks and force the person making it to confront the boundaries they're taking for granted + it would really piss people off which is funny

I love the death grip after the toy was fixed up. Lessons were learned. Try to steal it this time you fucking bird. I dare you.

Here is the snake mantis!

this counts as using hamburgers to explain the economy

BLUB GLUB GLUB DROWNING ME

Mexico vs South Korea is like Yugi vs Joey during the Duelist Kingdom semi-finals

i need a day of wearing my fangs to heal my soul