kotorri-chan

These past weeks I've been suffering a lot. There's so much pain inside of me.

About two weeks ago, I've tried to commit suicide.

Wanting to die wasn't for the sake of death but for the sake of wanting to ease the pain. I didn't want to die.

I enjoy what life can give to me. But then again I'm so scared. So scared of everything and anything. My pain and anxiety, they are holding me in a chokehold and I just can't breathe.

I'm breathing but it seems there is no oxygen inside my lungs.

I really didn't want to die. But I tried nevertheless. I went into the hospital I'm working at the moment and now I can't go to work because I'm scared of facing all those people again.

I've tried to push away everything that this is about. I've tried to mute all my emotions, especially the bad ones, into this unbearable silence inside my head.

My thoughts are so loud and wild, my mind is broken, torn apart.

I just had to open up. I had to write down my emotions and feelings somewhere.