Underdogs on Top

Based on the discussions in class, I feel as if this book was something that really focused on how lives are affected by sexuality. Alison Bechdel speaks about her father's death, and how later on after he died, she found out he was living a secret life and was gay. The whole book is based on this, and all the actions that happen from here after all connect back to this and the childhood that Alison lived. Alison didn't really receive any kind of love from her father, and after going back and thinking it through, she realized it was due to the his secret life.  One of the main actions that I feel really makes this book a touchstone for other topics when it comes to family is the way the father acted while he was alive. He was all for the hypermasculine, hegemonic way of living, and seeing him at the first glimpse, you would have no idea that he was gay. This is sad when I think of it in regards to the mother, and how she felt not knowing that her husband was secretly gay. It is something that I feel can happen to anyone, in this day and age, because sexuality is something that is picked up and drop down day in and day out. No one is really certain of their actual sexuality, and many people who actual try to question and go against society's idea of a man being a man seem to come out with a new found happiness. Some choose to hide it while others don't. 

Like the Han article, I feel that Chauncey's brings back up the topic of class being associated with sexuality. There is the system of class that comes into play with the discussion of men and their sexuality. It is as if men of the lower arent able to freely express their sexuality without being bashed. This causes them to turn to secrecy, and "staying in the closet." Bowery then became a place where these men could turn to to seek men who were similar to them, and even make some money while doing it. Prostitution came into effect, with both males and females. As a spectacle, Bowery became a place where these gay men could go and escape their everyday lives in which most of them were hiding the fact that they were gay. This remains true today, because if you visit Bowery, it is like a world full of homosexuals, whose alternate society is the one that I live in, the heternormative.

Chong-suk Han in his paper states that Asian men are vassals for domination fantasies that gay white men have, and black men are fantasies of white men submissiveness. This is something I find interesting, because it seems everywhere you go people associate black men with violence, whether it is for the pleasure of men or just stereotyping. On the other, I feel like there is some sort of triangle in which Asians are left at the bottom for white men to feel some sort of power after they are manhandled by black men. It seems weird but true.

Men see women as the other. Also men objectify women by looking at them as objects of sexual pleasure. I think that Bird in her work shows us that men are maintaining themselves through emotional detachment, competitiveness and with objectification of women. That is how they get their hegemonic masculinity. Homosociality is a big part of maintenance of masculinity.

My Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein is something that correlates to Kincaid's reading. Bornstein just has a list of questions and explanations to these questions to show how your answers relate to gender. One interesting thing about this passage that caught me was when Bornstein stated that you aren't the same person you were 10 minutes ago, and that throughout a 10 minute span, you make so many changes to our lives that we don't really have a set identity. This is interesting because of how much sense it make sense, and i never realized it until after reading this.

Why I feel this is important is because I feel that this is something that occurs within my own life. I have witnessed many people, and I am also myself guilty of trying to be that "man". These are ideas that come from watching shows like this, and understanding that by being muscular, and having many women, I am something that other people also want to be. Also by witnessing what these men are receiving in terms of the attention, and women, it is something that makes other men strive after this. It seems to be every man's goal and there are even some ads that offer tips that might help you become this manly man. These ads that are seen are made to attract the eye of both men and women, and in doing this, women now also are after these "manly men". It is all a gruesome cycle that does not really allow anyone to be them self. 

"I was growing up in a society in which women were so quiet, that I got to listen." In listening, I think that this is how Nevins came to being as successful as she is. This is justified when she states "women who want to be perceived as powerful have found it more efficient to identify with men than to try to elevate the entire female sex to their level." I feel as if the whole outlook in this passage is one that gives praise to women who are basically living by the standards of men. These women see past the "girly girly" life and since most of them have spent most of their lives with guys, their mentality is that of a mans. You can see this when these women go about viewing women as other men would view them, from talking about themselves as "the biggest cock in the room" to having copies of Playboy magazines in which they look at just to view naked women, and maybe even judge them. The Female Chauvinist Pig is one that is past the feminist stage. She already understands that the social gender class exists, she has just come to accept and find ways to live with it. For example instead of throwing away the magazines that some women may find degrading to women, why not use it to find out what these men find so interesting in it, and find a way to make yourself that. Like Levy states, "why try to beat them when you can try to join them?"

Lambert's article is one that really brings out the things that everyone knew, but no one really put out into the open. She speaks on how to basically live in a hegemonic society. The things you should do and don't. I feel as if she really got men down to the wire and even though I tried to play devil's advocate and look for a wrong in what she was doing, I could not because what she stated was nothing but the truth. If it has not happened to me, it is something that I have seen around me. Even in her first four paragraphs in which she was telling women what to do with other women, I feel like you could substitute the word women for men and you would still end up with valid points. One of the most interesting parts of this passage was when Lambert stated "You will never actually be part of the boys' club, because you are a woman. You are Ray Liotta in Goodfellas. You are not Italian, therefore you are never going to get made." This made me understand the passage more because of the fact that I saw Goodfellas and came to the realization that the boys club is like the Italian mob, and no matter how similar you are to them, how much they praise you, and feel as if you should be a part of them, the fact that your blood is not Italian stops you, or in this case, the fact that you are not a man stops you.

The article by Han "They Don’t Want to Cruise Your Type: Gay Men of Color and the Racial Politics of Exclusion" was one that I defined using the film "Paris is Burning." When the black gay guy said that his father told him you were already born with two strikes being black and a man, and that being gay would gain another therefore if its something you must do, you must be strong. I find the fact that men of color don't get treated right in their LGBT community very weird. I figured that since most of these gay men knew what being an outsider was and not fitting in with the norm, that they would already understand the scrutiny that men of color had to deal with. Therefore, why they don't get treated right by these white men is something I cant really grasp.

After reading this chapter, I think that Hooks is basically expressing the dislike with the movie Paris Is Burning. She states that "much of the sadness and tragedy of the film is evoked by the willingness of black gay men to knock themselves out by imitating a ruling class culture." At the end of the day, when these men are doing what they do, they aren't just doing it because they are gay and feel free to do so. There is a backdrop of having a desire to be in partnership with the ruling class white male. This could be the explanation for these men trying to be like white women, in whom are modeled after in the movie. Like Hooks states, this movie is one that helps sustain sexism and racism. Those people that wanted some sort of entertainment from this film got none due to the fact that it was true stories that were being shared and at the end of the day, it was the same old black representation going on. This group of black people once again, were estranged from their original communities and living on the edge, away from their original friends and families who wont accept the majority of them as gay black men.

In McKenna and Kessler's written work, they basically are looking at the history of the term "transgender" The word is broken up and interpreted that way, and is even defined using various archives. This then leads to more modern day usage of this language. The authors are really looking into the change that has been going on over time with this word and the way things that are surrounded with it have also changed. One thing that stood out to me was when some scientists argued that one's sex was something that cannot be changed. That once you were born that way that is biologically who you are. This is something for one to think about, merely because of all the discussion behind being transgendered or transsexual.

One major thing that I noticed in this reading, is the difference between abstinence before the 80s and then abstinence after the 80's. Before the 80's and the aids epidemic, more people were choosing abstinence because of the fact that they felt it was right, while the other percentage chose it due to the fact that it was a way out of getting tested for STI's. The pro 80's era gave way to different meanings of abstinence, first by associating it with the way people lived to the way that society had race and class set up. In being abstinent, people were now focused on the way that these people resisted sex and refrained from it. They looked at the strength of the men to withhold the temptations around them, and praised the purity in a women and her urge to not have sex. In looking at the fact that abstinence believes in marriage only after sex, an important factor of time comes into play. Before women became somewhat independent, there usually got married at an earlier age and settled down with their husband and children. Nowadays, it is different, not just because of all the single mothers they are out there, but also because of the fact that women in this day and age are more focused on their careers and themselves. This pushes marriage aside, therefore becoming abstinent is also something that most of these women don't worry about since they are not focused on marriage. Wilkins also touched on the race and class aspect of all of this. In mentioning that men gain more status from abstinence than women, shows that it is meant for women to be sexual, but when men refrain from sex, the whole world should stop, because this is apparently not normal. In certain social structures, female children, especially white ones, are taught and placed into programs in which they are fed information that is supposedly going to protect them from lower classes. I think that abstinence is something that not only Christians have taken seriously, but certain groups. They have taken the religious aspect out and focused merely on the sex.

Anna Gavanas's article, in my eyes, could also be used as some sort of workbook. It could be an outline or a list of characters that a father should have. Gavanas speaks about what the fatherhood should look like. One thing that I do agree with but would adjust a little bit would be the fact that sports should be placed in this fatherhood. I agree because I personally feel that sport is an important part of a mans life, but I do not think that putting it in a father's life as something to hand down to his child would be smart. I think every child should be open to choose whatever they want to choose. On the other hand though I do think that placing religion into the fatherhood is a great idea. It is something that would bring families together and create strong relationships. Also at the end of the day I feel that no matter whether father or mother, parenthood, should be something that both parents bring to the table. They should contribute in whatever way they deem necessary. The two wings that men are placed into are also interesting, and I can relate to them because within a strong family, there is a firm fatherhood, and vice versa.Marriage could be labeled as the key to family problems that society has. 

The article "Household Labor and the Routine Production Gender" thoroughly explains societies roles of both males and females. Society sees the everyday tasks of mothering as natural acts of feminism. They also feel that traditional tasks of fatherhood are seen as providing and protecting. Over the years these roles have switched and we now have fathers nurturing for their children as a mother would, and mothers out into the work field providing and making ends meet for their children. Both genders at beginning to share many of the same roles. This sudden change in the way genders are behaving in society is seen as a positive thing to me. Although many individuals may not view a male nurturing his child as a regular norm, it is becoming one. With this change we can expect to see many fathers stepping up to the plate and doing other things besides just providing for their family. I also see this as a positive thing because now men and women are not subject to just one thing. Women can now go out and get the job they want to provide for their family, and men are now able to spend more time with their family. The author stated that men are now taking on the responsibility of cooking and cleaning. I strongly feel that both genders should be able to do what they want to regardless of what society perceives as the norm.