moan louder every time the cashier scans one of your items

please do not do this

why would you ever idolize cops when firefighters exist

yeah seriously have you ever heard of “corrupt firefighter” 

what would a ‘corrupt firefighter’ even be. he put out that fire with a little TOO much water. he was a little rough with the cat he rescued from a tree for a little old lady

how on earth do you possibly fuck up that bad

#the sheer look of betrayal

Why do people act like being a vampire is so fucking great. You can’t eat garlic bread so what’s the point

Okay first of all fuck garlic bread

What the fuck. What thef. Uck. You come on here, you come into my house, you take a shit on my post you shit on garlic bread, you shit on everything I stand for, on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding… .

I could cry from this. 

My reaction to everything in every department store ever.

beautiful

When I die I want a plaque like this in my school.