"Hi," you try, and then you move to the kitchen. And you hates yourself for it, hates how his face drops, hates the flash of hurt in his eyes, hates the way his eyes follow you with worry.

You pour yourself a glass of water, but doesn't drink it, just exhale shakily, and as the breath leaves you, you hear Taehyung behind you. He winds his arms around your waist from behind, offering his comfort and warmth, and for a second, you just want to lean against him and forget everything. And for a second, you almost do.

Then you're pulling away. "I'm tired, gonna go to bed."

"I — What?" he asks, confused, and you are so glad you can't see his face right now, because you would break down.

"I'm exhausted," you repeat, not facing him. "so I'm going to sleep."

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks, his voice soft. "Are you mad?"

"No." You despise the way your voice comes out cold. You despise everything that you're doing right now, despise the fact that you don't know why you do this. Why you find it so hard to let the person you love most behind your walls.

"Oh." Taehyung lets out a laugh, a laugh mingled with hurt and confusion. "Really? 'Cause you can't even look me in the face."

Tears burn at you eyes, and words claw at your throat, and all you want to do is run into his arms, but now he's mad (rightfully so), and you've fucked it up, again.

You turn around and look at him, finally. "I had a long day," you say struggling to keep out the crack in your voice. "I'm sorry. It's not you."

You turn to leave again, but before you can he stops you. "Wait." His voice is cold too now, and you hate it. You face him again, and now his arms are crossed and he's leaning back against the counter. His face is impassive, but his eyes betray him, like always. "It's not that you're tired," he says finally. "There's something else wrong, and don't tell me there isn't because I know there is. I know you. There's been something wrong for the past few days."

"Jesus, I’m not crazy!" you snap irritably.

"I never said there was something wrong with you! Jesus, I — I'm just trying to get you to talk to me!" he stammers. The pain and bewilderment in his voice hits you like a knife to the gut.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I had a long day and I'm tired and feel like shit right now? Are you happy?" Even as you're saying the words, you hates yourself for them. They feel like acid burning your throat and it's spitting everywhere and you can't stop yourself and — and — and then suddenly you're in tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that," you say tearfully, your eyes wide and horrified, shame trickling over you like you’ve been doused in cold water. What were you thinking? "Taehyung, I didn't — "

His face softens and in a second he's crossing to you and wrapping his arms around you, and oh thank God, it's okay, he still loves you. "Baby, I know you didn't mean it, don't worry," he murmurs into her hair as you repeats muffled apologies and sobs into his shirt. "My baby. Sweetheart, it's okay, it's gonna be okay."

"I'm sorry," you hiccup weakly. He simply kisses the top of your head and then lifts you easily into his arms and carries you to the sofa, sitting you on top of him and holding you close, letting you cry quietly into his lean chest. He soothes you gently, pressing careful kisses and whispering sweet words to you.

"I'm sorry," you repeat after a few more minutes of crying. "I'm sorry, this is so — I'm such a shitty person."

"Hey." He pulls back, and takes your face between his large hands, intense eyes boring into yours. "I don't like it when people are mean to my love."

You let out a weak giggle and he presses an soothing kiss to your aching forehead. "I'm serious," he continues. "Don't ever, ever say that again. You make me the happiest person alive, you know that? I feel like the luckiest guy ever because because you're mine. My angel," he says. "Promise me you won't say that again."

"Promise,” you hiccup. The tears prick at your eyes again, and he wipes them away patiently.

"Don't cry," he says softly, something raw and pained in his voice. "It breaks my heart when you cry."

"I'm sorry, Tae," you whispers hoarsely, hiding yourself back in his chest. He lets you, simply stroking your hair and holding you tightly. "I can't do this right."

"It's okay, my angel," he says soothingly. "Just — just talk to me. Let me help you. Let me in, for once, yeah?"

You try to speak, but choke on words, words, stupid words, and he pulls you against him again. "Take your time, baby, don't rush it."

"I'm just so... tired," you try to explain weakly, your burning head resting against his collarbone. At this point, you're straddling him, and he's cuddling you closely, his cheek resting on your head as he listens to you intently. "But not like sleepy-tired, I just can't — I — " you falter, looking for words, and he kisses your temple encouragingly. "I just — I feel like I don't want to anything anymore."

"You need a break," he decides, running his hands through your hair.

"I like working!” you protest, but only half-heartedly.

"You need a break," he insists. "You're exhausted, and you need a break. No arguments. I'm gonna take some days off too, and we'll do whatever you want. Anything. Movie night. Fancy restaurants, hiking — I'll — I'll take you to Daegu, or — or Rome if you want."

You laugh weakly into his chest, and the sound brightens him a bit, fills his chest with something warm. "What about the moon?"

"I haven't figured out how to get that far yet," he plays along.

There’s a comfortable silence in the room for a few minutes, before you break it with a hushed, sleepy whisper. "I love you, Tae. So much.”

"I love you too," he murmurs, kissing you ever so gently. "Sorry I can't take you to the moon."

"S'okay," you mumble tiredly into his chest. "Don't need the moon if I have you."

“Mm,” he hums lowly. “Just thinking, angel.”

You yawn into his chest, and raise your hand to stifle it as his fingers begin tracing your hairline. Jeongguk is always touchier during the night, always insistent on having you in his arms and smoothing your hair and kissing you wherever he can reach. Not that you’re complaining — far from it. Nights with Jeongguk, soft and warm and cozy, are your favourite.

“Thinking ‘bout what?” you murmur, opening you eyes to take him in. His hair is tousled, his face bare and dimmer in the darkness, but his eyes, as always, are pure love. You raise a hand to run through the tangle of dark locks on his head soothingly, and he smiles in delight.

“About you,” he admits after a moment, his eyes fluttering shut as your foreheads meet and noses bump.

“Me?” You let out a tired giggle, one that has his heart melting and he can’t help but pull you closer. “I’m honoured,” you finish lightly, gently teasing out a knot in his overgrown hair.

“You better be,” he whispers teasingly against your forehead, and you both are smiling, albeit tiredly — but tired smiles are the best, after all. What is more beautiful than fighting off the warm lull of sleep to bask in the warm smile of a lover instead?

“I am,” you assure him. “But I would be more honoured if you told me just what you were thinking.”

“I was thinking,” he begins, his eyes following his fingers as they slowly trace patterns on your bare arms, “about how much I love you.”

“Cheesy ass,” you mumble, only to hear his body shake with a laugh, before he continues.

“Being serious, baby,” he murmurs, and he nuzzles into the crook of your neck with another content sigh. “’M so lucky.”

You press a kiss to his temple, and release your own satisfied sigh as he tugs you closer. “Mm, you’re so warm,” you say sleepily. “I love you.”

You can feel his smile, even if your eyes are drooping shut. “Love you too, baby,” Jeongguk whispers, breath warm against your skin, hands warm against your back, heart warm against yours. “Always.”

“Always,” you echo softly, burying your nose further into his shirt, breathing in his familiar scent. The last thing you feel before you sleep is lips against your forehead, and a soft whisper;

“you’re teaching me self-defence, which i know is important,” you explained “but you promised me that i was going to get in action. i don’t see much action here!”

you cried out the last part, his expressionless face staring at you. you saw him humming to himself, before a smirk appeared on his face.

“do you remember what stapling is?”

you looked at him in confusion, your eyes silently telling him what he meant by that. sure, you remember what stapling was after the countless times he explained that to you. yet, he never really showed you how to do it properly.

but before you could speak, his gloves-covered hands grabbed your forearms, pulling you against him with force. you widened your eyes at the sudden action, and a whine escaped your mouth when you felt his strong arms pushing you down against the floor.

you stared at his eyes, who were focused on your figure while you kept getting pushed down without being able to make a stand. soon, your back was pressed against the mattress, and you let out a broken cry when jungkook’s knee came in contact with your arm, his body easily sliding against yours.

his action restrained you almost completely, and before you could try to push him down with your free arm, his leg pressed against the back of your knee, making it almost impossible for you to move.

while his legs kept your firm on the ground, his hands tightly grabbed your wrists. you were too focused wiggling around to notice how dangerously close his face was, his nose pressed against yours.

“don’t you remember how to free yourself?” he asked in a low tone, and you stopped your movements for a moment.

you couldn’t admit it – mostly because you didn’t want to hurt his feeling by telling him that you barely listened to his lessons, or maybe because you didn’t want to hurt your ego.

“i knew it,” he whispered, and before you could reply, you were met with his soft lips pressed against yours.

a barely audible sound came from your mouth, completely muffled by how harshly jungkook’s lips moved against yours. your body felt limp at his action, his kisses becoming more steady and firm the more he continued.

only after what seemed like an hour – but were just some seconds – he moved, the both of you trying to catch your breaths. his body lazily fell against yours, but the grip on your wrists remained strong.

you closed your eyes at the feeling of his laboured breath against your neck, but a recognisable sound of giggles came to your ears.

“jungkook!” you called his name, his lips tickling against the cold skin of your neck. he didn’t respond, continuing to chuckle while he pressed soft kisses against it, continuing to your jaw before he found your lips once again.

“i told you, baby.” he said, smiling proudly to himself “you need to know how to defend yourself before attacking your opponents.”

your head shook in disbelief, but you soon laughed with him, your chuckles muffled by the continuing pecks on your lips.

"look who is hooome!" ryujin singsonged, causing the rest of the house to cheer. you chuckled and rolled your eyes, looking down to slide off your shoes properly amongst the messy cluster on the ground. it took you a second to realize there were more people inside other than your original three other housemates, scattered within the living room and voices echoing from the kitchen. before you could even unzip your jacket, ryujin's body barreled into you with a hug.

"come drink with us! i know you don't have work tomorrow, babe~"

"am i the only one that knows assignments exist?" you half-grumble, wiggling off your friend so you could put your outerwear away and set your bag down. when ryujin whined and latched back onto your side, you accepted the fact she'd be attached to you by the hip for the rest of the night until you said yes.

some things never change, especially peer pressure.

as you attempted to waddle down the hall having grown two extra legs and gained double your body weight, you were glad to note that a majority of the faces were mutual friends. you smiled and waved at most when they looked up to say hi.

taehyung, another housemate that lived on the second floor that went head-to-head with ryujin earlier with the shot taking, galloped up to you and grinned wide. you were impressed that he seemed unfazed despite counting seven cups earlier. "there you are! how was work? and are you gonna join us?"

"she said she has assignments," ryujin mumbled nearly incoherently against your shoulder from behind, her face smushed into your soft sweater. clearly seven was too big of a number for some people.

"i only mentioned that i know assignments exist, not that i'll do them." you griped playfully. before you could cut in an additional comment that that didn't mean you were going to get plastered, ryujin already interpreted that as a green light and went flying to the kitchen to prepare you a drink with newfound energy.

you looked over at taehyung with a knowing and forlorn expression, to which he stifled a laugh behind his fist. "to answer your other question: work was alright. but i was held back because of a mother that wanted to know the in's and out's of the enrolment process."

"let me guess," your housemate feigned a thoughtful expression. "her child isn't even near college-applying age."

"they're twelve." you deadpanned, much to taehyung's whistle.

an arm slinked around your waist quite suddenly then, and your heart jumped in your throat when you already knew who it was before you could even look. "tough week means letting loose by the end of it, no? come on, let's get you that drink before jinnie has it for herself."

his telltale lavender scented body wash was masked with the subtle twinge of apple soju and sprite, but it was still undeniably jungkook. he was the housemate that lived on the second floor with taehyung and was also the pure definition of a menace to society.

or maybe that was you being dramatic considering-- well. everything.

when you flashed a panicked expression to taehyung's apologetic one, next thing you knew you were being hauled to the kitchen. you yelped when you nearly stumbled once, but jungkook's hold around you was gently stable. he let go as soon as he had you close enough to get used to his warmth and that was when you could finally land your eyes on him.

he was in his normal all-black ensemble, only this time around swapping out sweatpants for fitted jeans. his t-shirt was soft, much to your sad attentiveness when you were pressed against him; the dark colours making his skin look more pale than intended. his hair was fluffed up in that way when his fingers glided through them enough times. when he stepped forward to interrogate ryujin about your drink, you saw his head shake with laughter when he proved his own theory right from earlier; his earrings and lip ring catching the light from where you were standing.

that was when you noticed the soft flush to his cheeks as he started making a concoction of his own for you. you winced as the soju just kept on going in the red cup with your name on it but you gave him credit where it was due when he splashed some sprite in sloppily. he interjected a comment in a conversation happening with some of the guys by the kitchen table, before turning toward you. you wanted to believe his gaze softened at the sight of you because it was you, but you ultimately knew it was because he was tipsy; borderline drunk.

"you gotta catch up, buttercup." he said gently, a satisfied smile on his face when you snort-laughed at the line. "but no seriously, have fun with us. you're always working and you're barely home these days. we miss you. stay a while, won't you?"

the first swallow was hard, acidity of the alcohol burning as it cascaded down your throat. you were sober and coherent in that exact moment but your mind still tunnel-visioned on the words we miss you. you missed everyone too, really, that you couldn't lie about. it wasn't your intention to have your schedule completely stacked like that: out the door before any of them were awake, and usually coming back too late and exhausted to interact at night.

but even though your bones were exhausted, you always had enough energy reserved just for him. "alright, i'll stay. but what is wrong with you, give me more of that sprite! ack--!" jungkook's bellowing laugh burst out then at your disgusted face, a fluster of well-meaning apologies resonating to your ears as he joined you in balancing out your drink with making a matching one for himself.

the rest of the night went swimmingly. it wasn't a rager or a house party to its full extent but everyone knew to have fun. you cut yourself off at a good level of drunkenness, especially after finding ryujin passed out on the living room couch when the others were screaming at the tv and falling off mario kart racetracks. you stumbled after putting your basement mate to bed in her own room, and nearly tripped over the top step if it wasn't for the expectant body of comfortable black cotton catching you.

thumping against the adjacent wall behind him, jungkook's arms wrapped around you to ensure you wouldn't topple over his sides. slurring mumbled words slightly, bleary eyes gazed down at you when you asked him if he was okay. "yeah, i'm good. uh... why... why are there two of you?"

"oh god," you laughed, shaking your head to rid of your own swaying vision that caught him in a dreamy filter. clearing your throat, you stepped back enough and patted his chest with both hands. "come on, if you're seeing double you should probably head to bed."

"but i'm not sleepy!" as if on cue, his eyes started drooping, much to your tipsy amusement. you giggled and really motioned for him to go this time, following behind him as he basically crawled up the stairs on all fours since the balance required for walking was fairly difficult. with echoing sounds of the crowd in the living room singing along to karaoke, you successfully managed to steer jungkook to his bedroom.

when he muffled a tired groan into his pillow, you slinked inside his room and pushed his legs properly inward so they weren't dangling haphazardly. gingerly wrapping his blankets around his form, he was so still that you were convinced he fell asleep instantly. it startled you when you turned around to leave and he managed to clearly say, "don't go."

"you should sleep, buddy," you chuckled, rubbing at your eyes and stifling a yawn yourself. "i can get you some water."

"don't need water," jungkook mumbled as he finally moved to shift onto his back. "food's coming soon any second now."

"food?" you blinked in confusion before your jaw dropped in sudden awareness. "wuh-- did you order? what did you order?"

his arm raised and did a wild circular motion before flopping back onto his side. his eyes were shut but his eyebrows still tried to express a vague face of yeah, i did that. "a pizza with pepperoni and extra cheese. or maybe two."

"well, okay, that's not bad--"

"but then i remembered they sold wings too... and poutine... may have added bread sticks since the pictures looked good."

"... you're unbelievable." you breathed, exasperated. like clockwork, there was a doorbell ring and not even five seconds later there were cheers again from downstairs. someone even wailed a prayer because they were already starving and an angel must have heard them. another snort sounded from you when jungkook raised a thumbs up at that from bed, as if in response. "better not be surprised at your credit card statement later this month."

"my stomach speaks louder when i'm drunk. am not even that hungry either..." a noncommittal hum came from him before he opened his eyes slowly and tilted his head on his pillow to look at you.

"wanna lay down too?"

red alarm bells flashed across your heart but the hiccup that escaped your mouth indicated your mind was still quite far from listening. you still had half a brain cell not to fully commit though, so instead of plopping yourself on his mattress, you set yourself to sit on the floor and your arms came up to cradle your head. jungkook almost frowned in disapproval but he wasn't one to propose alternatives when his body felt like jello and his head was fuzzy.

you surprised even your own self when you held his gaze steadily. he blinked a couple times, as if really trying to determine if you were right there. then, unprompted, he blurted: "... really pretty, y'know."

spoke too soon. your heart stuttered in your chest. "hm?"

"you're really pretty." he repeated again, voice suddenly clear once more. another blink. "like, opposite of ugly. the word hideous hates you. mirrors must be lucky to have you looking their way--"

"jungkook, oh my god." you wheezed, raising your arms to cover your face. "please stop. if this is how you hit on other girls, we're gonna need to talk in the morning."

"huh... how come, when you're right here?" does he even realize he was speaking like this-- "why do people 'hit' on others anyway? so violent... can't we use 'boop' instead or something?"

nevermind.

you found yourself sobering up within the next half hour or so, fancying his drunken thoughts that were endearingly chaotic. he gradually faded off to sleep with words mumbling to a nonsensical bunch, his body having curled closer to you as he talked since he liked that you stayed long enough to listen.

you sighed as you got up, gently readjusting his position so that he was more comfortable. grabbing the corner of his blanket and properly tucking him in, your heart swelled when he made sleepy sounds and cozied up better underneath his sheets. for someone that was unmistakably a campus heartthrob, he sure was a softie.

swiping a brand new water bottle from his stash by his desk and cracking it open a smidge, you left it by his bedside table. your eyes swept across his peaceful expression once more and you muttered a quiet goodnight into the air that matched his gentle snores.

( it was your day off the next day. your schedule forced you to wake up naturally at 7:30am no matter how late or early you slept previously, so with other than slight drowsiness you felt alright. you checked on ryujin first, glancing in when you knocked quietly, and nodded to yourself when you ensured she slept through the night.

you took the stairs two steps at a time and braced yourself for the residual mess left behind. but when you shuffled into the living room, everything was neatly and in order. that was when you heard rustling in the kitchen and you went to see who was up at an otherwise banned time on a saturday.

jungkook turned his head around, a large garbage bag in hand as the other one held a stack of red cups. his sheepish smile surfaced when you greeted him good morning and offered to help, ignoring the crescendo your heartbeat punched out this early in the day. "it's okay, i got it. there wasn't too much trash. people actually didn't miss our garbage can this time."

you chuckled in agreement but still decided to at least wipe down the counters as he finished up and took everything necessary outside. just as you were done and went about preparing your tea, you felt his lingering presence by the kitchen doorway when he came back inside. glancing up, you quirked a brow.

"you feeling okay after last night?"

"yeah," he answered quickly, blinking constantly in a habit of configuring what to say next. "you?"

"i'm good."

two beats of silence later and jungkook cleared his throat. "so i don't know if i dreamt this or i actually did this but did i... say anything weird last night to you?"

"define weird." you averted your gaze to not give yourself away, busying your hands with filling up the kettle from the sink. faintly, jungkook shifted his weight in place and made a starting sound to a response, before pressing his lips together.

"actually, forget i said anything. totally dreamt it."

you bit back a laugh as he turned on his feet and walked towards the stairs. just as you put the kettle down and clicked the button for it to start heating up, you couldn't help it as you turned your head to say over your shoulder: "would the word 'boop' happen to ring any bells?"

"welcome h-- wait, what--?" you sputtered. jungkook heard you rustle from the living room, the sound of your padded slippers coming closer until you appeared at the end of the hall that connected to the front door. there he was standing, still in his outdoor wear and swallowed by his winter jacket, somehow looking infinitely tiny as he mirrored his question across his face. when you got closer to him, instinctively he leaned into your touch when you caressed his face and closed his eyes at the warmth emanating from your skin. "what are you talking about, if you 'love me right'? of course you do, babe."

he let his gaze flutter to your face then, seemingly more relaxed but you knew what you said wasn't enough. you stepped back as he took off his boots and jacket, following him as he took your hand gently within his own and you both ended up in the kitchen. as you hovered, you watched him almost mindlessly take out both of your favourite mugs and started preparing the nightly tea he liked that you grew to have; a little bit of honey in his while you liked it brewed on its own.

you knew the cogs of his mind were whirling, probably retracing the history of your entire relationship and trying to find the places where he either faulted or could have done better. you knew better than to step in and stop him immediately; he gets rattled when he works himself into this type of mood and has to navigate his thoughts first.

as you rested patiently with your hip against the kitchen counter, jungkook finally spoke when he finished pouring the hot kettle water. "when i was out with everyone earlier, a big chunk of the later conversation before we all went home was about this thing called the five love languages?"

"oh, that," you blinked, nodding softly.

"you know about them?" his head snapped upwards, blinking profusely. "did you ever do the test?"

"uh, maybe once at the beginning of college?" you mumbled, shaking your head slightly as you genuinely don't recall the timeframe. "i don't remember the exact breakdown but, yeah i know my ranking."

jungkook in that precise moment looked comically terrified and wondrous at the same time, practically holding his breath as he earnestly gave you a nod to keep going; to elaborate and share.

"quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gift giving." you recited, holding out a finger for each one until all five were listed in order. once again, you watched as he dove back into his mental mind lab with this new flux of data and tried to compute.

it didn't take long until he defeatedly pouted, head dropping. "do i give that to you? do i love you the way you want?"

your heart physically cracked a bit inside your chest as you watched him carry the tea toward the living room, where you were settled before he came home like a storm of repentance. he asked the questions out loud but was already distant, wallowing in the rain that he cast into his own thoughts. as you sunk into the couch cushions after him, you tried to tug him back to you presently to no avail.

not wanting to lose the love of your life to his own insecurities when he has always had your heart in his hands, your expression sternly pouted as you shifted in your seat until you settled into his lap. it was when your arms curled around his neck did he snap out of it slightly, blinking a couple more times as he wrapped his around your waist.

"babe, look at me. please," you murmured, face level with his gorgeous one as you took in his features. his brows were bunched the slightest, his eyes holding a deep fragility as it connected with yours, and his lips were pursed with aching anxiety. "firstly, what i am going to say - i will tell you for as many times as i can until you believe it yourself, okay? you are not forcing me to say this and i am not forcing myself to say this, either. this is the truth. the whole truth.

"jungkook, you have given me nothing but love since you asked me to be with you all those years ago. everything you do has your heart and soul plastered all over it, and it makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world because i know a lot of the things you do is for me... for us." you hadn't expected your voice to waver a little but you took your time as you inhaled a steadying breath. his eyes were locked onto you and you knew he was listening.

"never once, not even a little bit, have you ever made me doubt you loved me less than the first day. if anything, i have no idea how one human being could have so much to give to begin with - but here you are. to answer your question of if you love me the way i want? yes. you do, every day. every single damn day, jungkook."

ever so slowly, the vulnerability wavered away. he was actively taking in your words and processing them, indication by the way his fingers were curling and uncurling the slightest bit into your sweater by the small of your back. he was timing his breathing with yours and you could feel the tensed muscles of his body relax. you continued on.

"the quality time you give me is unmatched. whether it's something small like asking me to go get gas with you, to taking me out on a surprise romantic getaway... you make my heart happy just by sitting beside me and doing nothing. it's honestly all i need but you raise the bar every time because you know i like spending time with you."

"as for physical touch-- well." you felt yourself blush as you cleared your throat, to which he actually smiled, causing you to hit his chest playfully. "from something like this and all the cuddles, the handholding and hugs, just having you close - to... when we really should have gone to bed but someone convinced me otherwise."

you could tell your jungkook was coming back now as he chuckled, leaning his head in the slightest bit to brush his nose cutely against yours. "it's a two-way street, my love. don't think you also aren't in the driver's seat most of the time."

"i know, shush." you hissed, earning a louder laugh from him. both of you softened as you gradually leaned back to raise your hands to his face, fingertips brushing along his jawline. "but you know what i mean. your touch is always so gentle when we're together - it's one of the sweetest things about you. initially i thought you were treating me like a fine doll that you didn't want to break... but then i learned you've always been taught to be tender, with everyone you know.

"as for words of affirmation, when do you ever stop telling me you love me? or that you're thinking of me?" you watched as he closed his eyes and smiled shyly, leaning into your touch once more as the soft hues of pink sprinkled across his cheeks this time. "i hear it in your 'eat well's and your 'get back home safe, i'll be with you soon's. before i even know i need to hear something, you're already there to tell me."

your heart was already thrice its size in your chest when it came to him, but as he tilted his head a little to press a kiss to the palm of one of your hands, your soul sizzled to a puddle of adoration. voice warm with tenderness, you caught his gaze again as you finished off.

"and then there's acts of service and gift giving. my bottom ranked two because - i don't know, i just get all weird and awkward when someone does something for me. i've always been independent, despite doting parents and extended family. it's more satisfying when i get the job done myself, y'know? that way i don't bother anyone... then you came along and wrecked havoc on me." you snorted despite yourself, laughing as he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"sue me for wanting to be a gentleman sometimes," jungkook grumbled. "but no, you just always insist on carrying all the grocery bags yourself because you hate making two trips. i'm right there!"

"jeez, i know, you go to the gym." you rolled your eyes to rub more salt on his fake wounds and the sound equivalent to a playful growl tumbled out from him. nipping at a finger when it grazed his lips, you finally burst out into genuine laughter that melted his expression. "i think you've gotten the hang of gift giving overall, too. functional gifts that we can share together is always a plus - like the mugs!"

you both seemed to mentally say oops! at the same time, considering the tea that had been placed on the coffee table behind you was long forgotten. readjusting your arms so they were back to being around his neck, you leaned up and brushed your lips across his forehead, smoothening the lines of concern that were there earlier.

"there. that's how you express the five love languages and that's how you love me right, every day. it doesn't even matter about the ranking but the fact that you still manage to do everything regardless is what makes you so goddamn incredible." pulling back to look at him properly, you pecked his lips once; sweet and soft. "please believe me when i tell you i wouldn't want anyone to love me any other way."

the final cherry on top was that last statement of yours that has him sighing, the weight of that entire evening dropping from his shoulders as he finally decided to let go of the chains. chasing your lips with a kiss of his own, he brought a hand up to rest at the back of your head, fingers losing themselves ever so gently in your hair. "i believe you. thank you... thank you for letting me love you."

"of course," you giggle, the smile you hold the sweetest thing he wanted to taste for the rest of his life. "don't forget that you need to be happy, too. i'm here to love you right and i want to do that for as long as you'll let me, please and thank you."

"then love me forever as i'll love you always," he murmured. "deal?"

he watched as you carefully let your expression slip to that of horror. really you were shocked but jungkook instantly gutted himself for being either the stupidest person in the world or the worst. at that point in time, you both had only dated for about two months. he really should have been walking around your life ever since becoming your boyfriend with a warning sign and countdown timer that his love confession was coming in about 60 days.

he could already hear his friends cackling in the back of his head; he was always known as the one that fell first and fell hard. he himself used to agree, wholeheartedly seeing it happening, but since it actually occurred... he wasn't so sure if it was a great feeling after all.

of all the terrible rejections he figured you would give, a quiet chuckle was not one of them. his body simmered with heat, wanting to put blame on the sun for alighting his face on fire but he had been comfortably perched underneath the shade with you the last half an hour or so. damn it. "that... wasn't a question, i don't think."

"oh," he lamely and belatedly realized. he was practically neon red at that point, a mortified groan escaping as he raised his hands to cover his burning ears, head ducking downward. "i'm so sorry, it-- this must be really sudden for you and-- it... was more of me getting it off my chest. god. it's okay if you don't feel it too. really. i'm sorry--"

"you don't have to apologize for this," you murmured quietly, tone hushed as were the waves lulling to the shore behind you. you had turned to face him properly, lips pursed in that way he started to figure out was your physical indication that you were thinking.

jungkook reached up, gently brushing his fingertip at the corner of your mouth and poked it cutely upwards much to his success as you grinned shyly. he sighed out then, gaze dropping to the ground as he paired it with what could only be a relieved smile. "please don't stress over something that i'm feeling. the fact that you aren't running away screaming at the earliest confession known to mankind is enough for me. i never meant for it to be pressure on you or anything."

you couldn't help the giggle at his own self-deprecating comment of being an early lover but you nodded at his words, affirming that you heard him. after a few pondering moments of silence, mediated by the waves and faint echoes of the cityside surrounding you, your words were quiet as they left you next. "i'm not ready to say it back yet. i-- i just never want to say something i don't mean with my whole heart yet, that wouldn't be fair to either of us. i hope that's okay..."

"of course it's okay." with your eyes flittering over his features in front of you that was semi-shielded by jungkook's fluffy hair getting in the way of his downcast eyes, you tentatively reached over and laced your fingers with his. your stomach did a little jump when he didn't miss a beat of gently holding your hand, squeezing a tad, and watched as he lifted his head to look at you.

the natural sunlight was made for him to bask in, you realized. yes, he may have essentially said i love you first and you weren't set to return the adored L-word back - but with the way he has continuously been himself, gentle and unwavering with how he treated you, there was a part of you that whispered your heart was not too far behind after all.

"i'll wait. for that 'yet', i know i can wait. and for you, it's worth it."

(it was a little while later, down the line of time and feeling like you've known him for an eternity, when the emotions hit you all at once. jungkook had turned into your comfort place; the one person whose arms would fall open the moment he read that furrow in your brow or that glint in your eyes. he knew if you wanted a listening ear or moderate advice to guide you in the right direction.

it wasn't perfect, and you both always had room to grow; but being with him was effortless - and the love bloomed as if it was always there to begin with, just waiting for the right opportunity to blossom.

staring at your boring ceiling of your room was one thing, but talking to him late into the night about every topic under the moon felt like he put the stars up there for you to wonder at. after coming down from the laughing fit of comparing legendary childhood stories neither of your respective families could ever forget, you found yourself glancing over at him. jungkook was rubbing his eyes, chest still shaking with the remaining chuckles that lingered, hair fanned out underneath him and embodying the definition of endearment.

"i love you."

freezing his movements for a second, his smile faltered as he slowly raised his hands that were on his face, a stunned expression mirroring your increasingly frazzled one. not knowing what to do with yourself, you had opened and closed your mouth twice to try and explain - but how do you explain a love confession? you suddenly felt a bone chilling episode of sympathy for jungkook those months ago.

"... w-what?" his voice was small, barely above a whisper. the cogs were physically jamming to a halt in his brain as he repeated what you said mere seconds ago, the tips of his ears flaring hotter at every passing second. "you do?"

"mhm!" you offered in reply, voice pitched higher than intended and you felt a monstrous blush ignite across your cheeks. "alright, uhm. if you excuse me, i'm just going to go jump into the void now--!"

his laugh, your favourite sound aside from the melodic lyrics that float in the air wherever he goes, sounded out just as his arms snaked around your waist and pulled you flush against his chest. his legs caged you in to prevent you from actually escaping anywhere else other than his hold, and your squeals were battling his giddy giggles as he peppered featherlight pecks all over your face.

then, jungkook pulled back just enough so that he could look at you properly. "you love me?"

you scrunched your nose and breathed out a chuckle, but ultimately sighed again as you nodded. "i do love you." when jungkook made a sound at the back of his throat and dove to nose your warming cheek, you shyly curled and uncurled your fingers into his shirt by his waist. "... thank you for waiting."