Inside Thoughts

Like I just knooooow people are tired of them. Everyone knows without being told that they are having freak sex CONSTANTLY and that they are so in love about it. Like how does it feel to be together for twelve years married for one and you are STILL knocking the walls down every night. Everyone said it HAS to stop at some point and they are WRONG. Second season on the Cens Shane is still coming in routinely with bite marks on the BACK OF HIS SHOULDER and there is only one mathematical explanation for how they got there. Like ohhhh my name is Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov and the only thing I do is win Stanley Cups and have hot freaky athletic people sex with a man who would kill and die for me and I make MILLIONS OF MONEYS while doing it. I know people hate them.

i love shane because in some ways he's just so Jock and so Boy like he has zero houseplants (except for maybe a cactus or two) because he doesn't care and he forgets to water them and his house would look like shit without a designer because all his walls would be metros blue and he has to hire someone to tell him what kind of clothes to wear and his favourite thing is Sports but i just know he also doesn't play about his microfiber cleaning cloths and he stores leftovers in glass containers instead of plastic containers because microplastic and you have to use the back entrance on rainy days because he doesn't want mud on his nice floors

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

i’m crying at the thought of shane trying to use queer lingo like rose will tell him about booking a lead role and shane is like wow, slay🧍🏻‍♂️🙂

i truly love that shane and ilya shares clothes like .5 seconds into the cottage. like they’re one day into living together and they’re already performing domesticitymaxxing truly no one does it like them fr

after they come out they get hit with the typical homophobic retoric from some of the fans and then a clip goes viral of some guy yelling about how it’s sad that boston’s best player became such a soft fag that he had to move to ottawa and ilya yells back yes i pulled best and hottest player in nhl of all time and i get to practice with him every day, is so sad for me

ilya would be so happy to be a trophy wife like shane has an important business conference thing he has to attend with important business people and ilya would put on his sluttiest little suit that matches shane’s and he leaves the first three buttons on his shirt undone and he links his arm with shane’s and when shane is talking serious business™️ with some guy ilya goes and finds him another one of those sparkly little drinks and sometimes people want to talk serious business with ilya and while he could do that he just says you should go ask my husband he’s over there while he devours the rest of the sliders at the buffet

i just think that one time shane accidentally cums on ilya's face like ilya has been sucking him off for a good while, edging him and just as shane starts to moan a little too loudly ilya pulls off and tells him to hold it but it's been going on for so long and ilya's warm hand is still wrapped around shane's cock and he tries his best, he really does, but he's helpless to it so he cums with a gasp and it accidentally hits ilya's cheek and his lips and shane feels a little bad and a lot horny about it and ilya completely forgets to give him a punishment because it ignites something so feral in him

After witnessing yet another angry and offensive answer Hayden had for one of Ilya's playful chirps, Arthur Pike will totally, and in the most genuinely innocent and hurt way possible, ask loudly "dad, why are you always so mean to uncle Ilya?" and a deafening silence will fall on the crowd gathered at the Hollander-Rozanov house for whatever celebration