I swear to god I just heard the Xbox achievement unlocked sound even tho I’m alone in my house and don’t own a fucking Xbox what the fucj

All I’m saying is there’s 7.6 billions of us and only one God. We could take him out if we want to.

Everything I’ve learned about Elon Musk has been completely against my will.

california? you mean the place in the red hot chili peppers songs? you know that’s not real right?

the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?” and it meows at u

i’m just someone’s weird coworker

So March lasted ten years and April just kinda passed instantaneously like we’re in a coma and yet I’m trapped in it eternally

rolling up to x æ a-12's baby shower with a copy of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal as an advance gift for the child

Hozier is just like "I'm a corpse in the woods I have a complicated relationship with religion and I'm tastefully horny" and we all collectively went "same"