mary's oblivion

not me thinking about how lucifer brought sam back to life as a "gift" to jack the same way amara brought mary back to life as a gift to dean.....

and then everything was gay:

do i ship wincest. yeah they're an inseparable pair on a narrative and thematic level, can you truly understand one without understanding the other? they're two halves of a dialectic on heroism and sacrifice. they're two points on the family trauma survivor spectrum, sometimes opposing, sometimes intersecting. they're like watching your parents who should've gotten a divorce years ago somehow stay together, against all reason. they're two inheritors of a rugged American masculinity and isolated individualism, internal and external violence springing forth. regressing to the nostalgia of frontier brotherhood as substitute for the nuclear family. they're a set of quintessential outlaw lovers. maybe true love only exists in the kind of freedom you keep when you're always moving, on the road, in your childlike bubble excluded from society, left with nowhere to burrow your roots except into each other's very being. they're the world's loneliest childhood shared between two feral dogs, one biting down on the other, unable to let go. they're the fantasy of an unconditional love so powerful it can survive the apocalyptic enormity of your own self-loathing. they're a set of matryoshka dolls, one consuming the other. journeys end in lovers meeting, but what kind of journey is it really when you've never left home: it's been sitting in the seat next to you this entire time. your haunted house is not a home but a person who'll never let go. they're an erotic fantasy of domestic horror as a sweet, sickening embrace as opposed to an all-consuming fire, a car driving off into heaven's sunset as opposed to one crashing into a tree. (wrong: they're both). so horribly enmeshed and trapped in a magnified love so destructive to the world around them they leave catherine and heathcliff wuthering heights in the dust. they're two brothers trapped in a 15 year long spiral of an abusive codependent pseudo-marriage, in part due to a network unable to let go of a successful show format, thus unable to afford them any growth that might disturb the status quo. but the implications of it all.

Truth spell Supernatural episode, but Dean starts saying really crazy possessive shit about Sam, not explicitly in an incestuous way, but it’s just intense and strange, like admitting to stealing Sam’s clothes because they smell like his deodorant/aftershave/shampoo, or hostile thoughts about other men trying to befriend Sam or share any kind of camaraderie, because that’s their thing, or about wishing the two of them could never ever be separated so he can make sure Sam doesn’t die. Stuff like that

oh that scene where Zachariah tells Dean about the angels planning the apocalypse and the color gradually and subtly changing... gets me everytime