I, too, remember that feeling. You are caught between all that was and all that must be. You feel lost.

Please don't expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.

“I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it”

“I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. but I didn’t.”