K8 the gr8

Floral Print Sleeveless Tea Dress

Scoop Neck Sleeveless Flora Print Tea Dress

White Sleeveless Colorful Feather Print Dress

Crochet Paneled Asymmetrical Hem Swing Dress

White Slip Tribal Hem Beach Dress

White Lace Insert Waist Tanks A-line Dress

Plain Sleeveless V-Neck Open Back Dress

Black Sweetheart Neck Camis A-line Dress

when i start splitting it feels like there is no stable ground under my feet. understand this.

i get so exhausted by small tasks, i get annoyed with noises, there is static in my head. understand i need time to relax in the quiet without stimuli. you can be next to me, that helps.

when i start disassociating i feel like a ghost, like people can walk through me, like im stuck in a video game and the person playing my character doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing. hold my hand. you will help bring me back. this is called “grounding”.

when i am touched, i disassociate. sex is hard because of triggers. remember this isn’t anything you’ve done wrong.

i cry when people yell at me or tell me i did something wrong. please watch your tone, take breaks from talking if you’re frustrated with me. 

i disassociate when im under pressure to make a decision or do something important. give me time to think, please be patient because my brain does not process as quickly as yours.

when people talk to me i sometimes don’t realize until after they’re done speaking. please don’t get mad if i ask you to repeat what you say. i genuinely want to hear and process what you have to say.

i feel like no one means what they say to me unless it’s negative. i imagine abandonment and it keeps me up at night. reassure me that you care. this will do wonders. this will help me sleep.

i have delusions of abandonment, i believe that someone actively in my life has left me and i get physically sick. tell me that you’re here.

i feel empty. hold my hand.

i do not use people. i do not manipulate people just because im lonely. it’s hard for me to even reach out to a person when i feel vulnerable or lonely. if i do this, know that you mean the world to me.

no one in my life who was supposed to stay has ever stayed. my brain repeats this sentence over and over when i have an attack. tell me that you’re here. you don’t have to promise that you’ll stay, just remind me that you’re here and that you’re real.

i have never been fully loved by another person and that’s all i think about when i split. tell me you love me.

i do not rage like the stereotypical bpd, instead i just feel a void and i get angry at the void and i spiral into a cycle of self-hatred and apathy. do not let my hatred towards myself make you think you have done something wrong. do not try to make me love myself.

when i split i do not care about anything in my life. i’m impulsive. i randomly decide to drive on the wrong side of the road. i spend all my money the first time i go into a store. remember this. offer to hold me accountable for things.

sometimes all of this just feels like a very loud roller coaster ride and i just want to lay down next to a breathing body in silence. i don’t want to be touched or talked to. i just want to lay and breathe and exist. i just want to be loved silently and existentially. peace, existing, loving quietly. i do not need to be loved with a bullhorn. i do not need to be loved with flowers or grandiose gestures or romance or celebrating. i need to be loved in little moments. when my head is screaming and thrashing and storming i do not need to be loved in a yell. when i hate myself loudly i do not need to be loved loudly. i need a whisper, to be loved in a whisper, to be waited for. to be understood. to have someone know that baby steps are giant leaps, that i am trying. i do not need promises, i will undo them in my head. lay next to me, stare at the ceiling with me.