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Token Friends
textbooks tell me humans are social creatures. humans need interaction to thrive. humans need to love and feel loved. anti-social. introvert. shy. weird. awkward. negative. crazy. those are my names. the names on my collar. the names i respond to. friends. people who care. only… they don’t. they are friends so long as i remember my names, my place. to keep suitable distance. can’t tell them my problems. can’t ask them about theirs. can’t confide in them for any reason. can’t ask for help in my time of need. who confides in me? can’t expect them to come to me when they need someone. no matter how far out i extend my hand. i don’t talk to them. they don’t talk to me. i try to reach out. i ask them to reach out if they only thought anything of my yearning to listen, and my yearning to be heard. cut off. ignored. inconvenienced. hey. how’s life? don’t ask personal questions. it’s inappropriate. go away. we’re busy. remember the names engraved on your collar. stay still and quiet until we tug on your leash. you speak when you are spoken to. you are seen when we want you to be seen. these are my friends. this is my family. this is the web life has woven me into. fuck them. fuck them all. i am not a token. token is not written on my collar. i am more than a fucking token! i can fake a smile, treat them as they treat me. but i’d rather just let them all go. cut the leash and become feral that’s what i’ll be. feral. watch them run.
Burned Memories
Should I fail to contain this infernoÂ
 that has engulfed my heart,
 I feel my memories shall thawÂ
 and I’ll take too much pleasureÂ
 in watching them all burn.Â
Take them. Take them all.Â
Take them all away.Â
Memories are only as frozenÂ
 as the heart that harbors them.
Why keep them on ice,Â
 when you can watch them all burn.
How long might the moon surviveÂ
with the weight of the world on its shoulders
 should there be no sun to to balance the scale?Â
A Memory’s Dance
A memory is but a dying flame,
fighting to consume just enough oxygen
so that it may linger awhile longer,
before it inevitably slips away.
The memories of us flicker in my mind.
The one of how I want to remember it.
and the one of what we truly were.
Yet, do they not burn on the same candle?
Is it but one memory, split into a twin flame?
Indeed, it is but one memory, pretending to be two.
One memory gazing at its own reflection.
A flame that loses itself in its reflected dance,
though it knows deep down it lacks any rhythm.
And in time it knows too that this dance won't last.
There is nothing that remains but a forever frozen past.
Like every dancer before it, this one too shall fade.
A memory is but a dying flame.
No matter how it may recreate itself,
it is destined to die.

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The string that binds us Is but a single thread of the great web. Only when a dew drop clings May that one thread shimmer, Setting it apart from the rest Should that string be servered, Only the dew drop would perish.
The Lonely Rose
A man may enjoy the beauty of a rose and caress its petals carefully. One who holds a rose however, will surely be cut by its thorns at some point. And once the man is injured, he will flinch, dropping the rose to the ground. The rose has caused him pain, but despite the pain of its thorns, his love for its exquisite beauty is enough for the man to pick it back up again.
I see many roses with thorns that cut straight through the hearts that touch them, and yet those hearts pick up that same rose again and again, until there is no more blood left to spill. I consider this carefully as I see a lone rose withering on the ground, and ask it why it was left there all alone.
“ I have been held by more than one,” replied the rose, “but alas, they each held me only once before they were pricked by my thorns. They never picked me back up.”
But surely they loved you enough to pick you back up again. They need only be more careful next time.
“No,” the rose sighed, “No one can love my red petals that much. It's much easier for them to pick another rose, more fresh and vibrant than I.”
But however more vibrant another rose may be, it still has thorns as you do. Some that cut much more deep and leave wounds that are much more grim. They still get picked up again and again, because to love a rose is to not only love its petals, but also the thorns on its stem.
To my horror, my words made the rose wither more. “It doesn't work like that for me, my friend. They love me until they feel my thorny prick, and then I'm tossed to the ground and left to die. They won't pick me up again. Unlike the other roses, I don't know the trick”
But... the other roses--
“The other roses! Yes, yes! I know! The deeper their thorns cut, the tighter their stems are held! I get that! But not for me! No one can love me that much, I could have no thorns at all and I would still not be loved for long! A stem as smooth as silk I could have and it would still all go wrong.”
A bit taken aback by the roses' poetic outburst, I stepped back and studied it in silence. How many people had held that rose, only to toss it away to go pick another? A mother? A father? A child, perhaps? Someone's best friend? A lover? A gardener? How many could it be?
It was then I decided. And I knew what that decision would bring. I knew that rose was right for me.
'You're beautiful', I suddenly said. I gently traced its withering petals and wiped a dew drop off the red.
“What are you doing?” The rose gasped in surprised. “Don't pick me up! My thorns have hardened and dried! You're just going to start bleeding if you hold on to me. My dry thorns will break off and get stuck in your skin! Don't even try!”
I ignored the cries of protest for me to just walk away. I picked it up once... twice... three times...
I dropped it back on the ground as I winced in pain, but I picked it right back up each time and promised it I would continue to for the rest of my days.
I planted its stem into the core of my heart so it could take root, and gave it plenty of sunshine, just enough rain and fresh air. I learned to endure those painful thorns when my hand slipped, and in time, they rarely touched me because I had learned to caress it with the greatest of care.
I love that rose with a passion deeper than the depths of hell. I know without doubt that this love will survive. The edges of its petals still withered from the past, but the vibrant beauty of its love for me makes my heart glisten with every dew drop it cries.
No matter how much I bleed, I am determined to make it last. For though to the others, this rose was not good enough to hold on to for too long. To me, it is worth every battle. Never have I felt so strong.
Sunbeam
How may the blossom still flourish if the brightest ray of the sun is extinguished?
To soak in its beam only once before it fades away is enough to bloom,
yet the petals are forever stained with the longing to feel its warmth once more.
~ Klorrie D.
Illusion of a Great Love
As a magician carries deep passion for his tricks—Â
though he knows they are not real—Â
We too, cling to the illusion of what we used to be—Â
despite the clear reality that what we had was nothing we could feel.

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Is This Me?
Resting under this tree, I wonder if this is really me. Is it I who live this life? Is it I who cuts with this knife? Who am I? What is this life? Is this me that I see? Is this me being free? Stare at the clouds. Ask these questions aloud. No one to hear. What will become of me? Am I living a lie? Is the true me really still trapped? Trapped inside my mind? Asking all these questions, With answers I’ll never find
Ode to Black
In the beginning, there is you and only you. In your endless travels though the infinite void, You master the art of emptiness. You are the ruler of nothing. You are the void. As strong as you are, there will be one who seeks to claim his supremacy. Soon the light will find you. Every color in his army will attack you with a full arsenal of thoughts, dreams and ideas. He will try to break through you… banish you. But in the end, you are left standing alone. You are permanence.  The supreme ruler of nothing.
Love, Not Like
Sure, I love you. But that’s no reason for you to boast. Because that doesn’t mean I like you. Not even close. I don’t like anyone I love.
Should you ask me why, then I’ll show you my scars the others have made Then I’ll show you the ones that came from your blade.

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