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This is what Willem Defoe was writing on his detective pad

she res on my urrection till i come. (back. (from the dead))

this was funny you guys are mean

im blair witch and welcome to my project

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

Can I... a starving orphan... who is homeless... alone and unloved... perhaps trouble you for one small fish from that bucket? Please? -pathetic cough and helpless look-

It’s entirely too hard to fake one’s own death these days. That’s the real problem with technology

pirate watching people jump off a diving board: yarr. be they walking the plank... by choice?