dream big, love bigger.

drinking black coffee is such a power move like i’m instantly intimidated by people who drink it black………………my coffee is usually the color my skintone by the time i’m done sweetening it lmao

Hi brain, you obstinate fucker. I drank the clear splashy stuff. I ate the green things. I went under that bright fucker up there. I did the thing with the moving and sweating and whatnot. Now make the happy chemical, you lump of fuck.

did you do the thing with lying unconscious for 8 hours

god i love girls and women and also titties, and fruit

Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice

Thanks I hate it

Customer service but you use your dirty talk voice

You’re a nasty little bitch aren’t you? Trying to return these shoes after 30 days.

i cant

akinator updated and i feel like i dont even know him anymore

plot twist: you let someone in and they don’t fuck you over

why are non-offensive moves even an option in pokemon?? im here to kick ass. have fun wasting a turn with your swords dance mirror shield whatever the fuck while i beat the shit out of you. hope you can still enjoy that raised sp attack stat in poke-hell

god making snails: alright now i need a lil goopman

god makin slugs: haha okay one more but this time naked