vilhelm

At least you had somewhere to go and didn’t have to request an extended stay at the dorms for break, so there was no point in getting so hung up on it. Your friends would be more proud if you took it maturely (however, they’d also try and convince you to get with Ayato, but two things could be true at once). 

On one hand, your friends had a point. It would make things a lot easier, and perhaps, you wouldn’t even need to return to the dorms if you did accept his feelings. You got lost in thought for a moment, thinking about how it felt to work on that puffy cat latte all that time ago. Your first coincidental meeting. How things had changed since then, you found it difficult to understand let alone put into words.

Every second you spent making the coffee led to this day in one way or another. Every photo the two of you had captured. The equally coincidental meeting on campus when you were able to put all the pieces together. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think this sufficient enough to be called a meetcute.

“Do you want to take up your luggage to the room first or take a break?” Ayato spoke up as he pulled into the driveway of his home. “I wouldn’t be against making us some coffee, if you want a cup.” You said it while thinking about the cat latte, but he didn’t need to know that was what inspired the idea of coffee. Not to mention, he had a fabulous coffee corner that you couldn’t let go to waste just sitting and looking pretty.

“Ah, in that case, I can bring up all your bags. You don’t have to touch a single one of them,” he smirked as he got out of the car and almost skipped to the passenger seat to open the door for you.

He looked incredibly giddy for someone who was usually so reserved. Part of you wanted to tease him even if you were still hung up on the previous kiss. You shook your head, gently, not in opposition to his words, but to shake the growing smile from your pace. “That would be really nice, thank you.”

You almost sprinted inside after getting out, guest key in hand (that Ayato gave you a few weeks ago), trying to escape his presence. Too much of it and you’d simply crack. 

Even though you quickly started on making some espresso and preparing the ingredients for a latte in his kitchen, your mind drifted off yet again. Ayato would come in through the front door every few minutes as he was bringing in your things, and it made your heart rate spike each time. You stared at the cabinet in front of you for entirely too long before you took out your favorite wildflower cup and the cup that Ayato usually used. 

There was no way to go about this normally. There was no solution other than the one staring you in the face. You poured the espresso into both cups mindlessly, drifting into the routine you would have at work while your eyes drifted towards your phone.

After you poured the frothed milk and foamed milk on top of the espresso, you set the cups to the side. There was already a notification on your phone when you pressed the power button. Just who you’d been wanting to message.

Roomimi: how is the move going? well, i hope?

You: yeah… just getting into the groove of moving things into their guest room now

Roomimi: that’s good! i wish i could visit, but gorou and i are visiting my mom :(( 

You: don’t worry, you’ll have time to see me any either time. is it okay if i ask you a question?

Roomimi: what is it?

You: should i just tell him the truth about how i feel?

Roomimi: …are you finally coming to terms?

You: i think i’m going insane holding back all this time, yes. i kissed him before we left for the flight home.

You: it feels selfish of me to do things like that because i like him, i really do. the amount of time i’ve spent with him and the way he’s changed my outlook on life and was always there for me to fall back on.

You: photography and fame aside, he’s such a gentle person and i feel awful doing this to him when i know that i like him

Roomimi: and don’t you think this is something you should tell him straight up, instead of me? especially if you feel so deeply about him to the point that you kissed him during our vacation.

You: …exactly. yeah. i think i have to do it :’))

Roomimi: all that matters is that you follow your heart. whether that be with ayato or your dreams <3

She had a point. You knew it, too. You stuffed your phone in your back pocket before taking the cups and bringing them to the cozy living room—turning on the ambient lighting and some music while you were at it. Ayato walked in shortly after, when you were already laying comfortably on the couch and drinking your latte. 

“It smells so nice,” he picked up the cup and sat down beside you. 

“You finished?” 

“Yeah, everything is in the guest room now. Or rather, your room.”

There was a feeling in your chest, as if it would burst out either into a flurry of butterflies or explosions. “Oh, and I have a welcome gift for you, to help you get settled,” Ayato smiled, gentle and warm. Loving. It didn’t make things easier for you.

You hesitated before finally saying, “I have a welcome gift for you, too.”

“Even though I’m the one that’s already living here?”

“Don’t ask questions, ‘Yato,” you pouted. He was conveniently close, so it only took you leaning in a little bit before your face was inches away from his and you pecked his cheek. Just a peck. 

“Is this… the gift?” Ayato stuttered, his mouth slightly agape and his arms frozen on his cup.

“No.” You whispered and leaned in again, this time carefully putting your lips on his. Making sure that they fit perfectly together. Calculating it—as best as you could with such a quickly beating heart and fuzzy mind. It was entirely intentional this time, not the rushed kiss you left before running away previously.

You didn’t want to run away. You only wanted him to be yours more than ever before.

Pulling away for a second, you whispered, “I really like you too, Ayato. I’m sorry that I let you wait all this time just because of my own doubts.”

“You should know I don’t care about that. Thank you, [Name]...”

It didn’t take long before both of your lattes were forgotten on the table and you were kissing on the couch that you’d fallen asleep on together a few months ago. 

— new chapter!! it took a bit since the last one but i'm trying to take it slowly. this kiss scene was so fun to write, i hope you guys enjoy it :(( yn is finally being a bit less stubborn hehe

The dark and low rumbling clouds rolled in almost out of nowhere as you exited the opera house with Neuvillette. “I thought the forecast today was clear of any rain?” You looked out to the gloomy night skies, stars covered by the menacing clouds.

“I believe it was. I’m not sure what the cause for these clouds is, but I suppose it means something in the forecast changed since the last time we looked at it.”

“You don’t think it’s going to start raining on 𝘶𝘴, do you?”

“From the looks of it, it very well may start raining any second now,” Neuvillette smiled. He did feel bad for you, but part of him felt delighted at the idea of a downpour.

Only moments after you started walking did it actually start drizzling. And it did start calm and peaceful, just a light shower. But the clouds were too doomingly-dark for such light rain, and you couldn’t even count the seconds before it went from a pleasant pitter-patter to an entire tsunami. Your hair was fully drenched, your clothes got heavier from the weight of the water soaking into it, and the visibility of the sidewalk in front of you faltered.

“Couldn’t it have waited, seriously?”

“[Name], I don’t believe the weather waits for anyone.” Neuvillette looked like a fish out of water with the way his tidy opera-attending clothes—a formal white blouse and black dress pants paired with a blue shoulder coat and accessories—were sticking to his skin. The way his hair un-styled itself and fell flat around his face. You couldn’t help but think to yourself that he looked like he came straight out of a Ghibli movie.

You pouted at him. “Of course it doesn’t wait! It clearly didn’t see us trying to head home after seeing a wonderful orchestra perform and wanted to create some downpour on that joy and excitement. The rain has no whimsy.”

“That’s an… interesting way to personify the rain.”

“You think so? Anyways… Let’s go, before we turn into puddles from being so drenched.”

Even though you were busy trying to grab his arm and drag him along to run away from the rain, you still managed to hear his little chuckle. “Don’t make me leave you here, Neuvi!”

“I don’t entirely believe you’d be harsh enough to do that,” Neuvillette started to pick up speed as he was getting pulled through the rain by your hand.

You weren’t looking back at him anymore, but forward, searching for the bus stop you were supposed to wait at together. He admired your back profile, your courage to drag him somewhere when most people wouldn’t dare lift a finger against him, and the care you had for someone who clearly didn’t even mind a little bit of rain. A lot bit of rain, actually, but nothing would stop this man from standing in the rain all day if he could.

Given his intimidating presence, Neuvillette didn’t typically experience someone taking the lead and ‘protecting’ him in their own way like this. And even though the rain was cold, he found that he felt quite warm.

It was something that he’d recently realized only happened when he was together with you. But for someone who had no previous romantic experience, he was unsure. He didn’t wish to make things difficult for you, and so he always decided that this was an issue he could not afford to tackle in the present moment. Including this moment.

A strong gust of wind pushed you nearly off balance, but you recovered from it and kept running along. “I think I see the bus stop!”

“Ah, Are you sure you see it?” His view was almost entirely obstructed by rain and your back profile.

“Huh?” You called out, not sure if you heard him correctly with the hissing of the rainfall.

For once, Neuvillette’s willpower wavered. If you couldn’t hear him, then it wouldn’t hurt if he spoke the words he’d been looping over and over in his head whenever he thought too deeply about you. He didn't hesitate, afraid that he'd lose the chance in a blink.

“I adore you, ma chérie.”

Perhaps it was the wine he’d been drinking during the performance earlier. Maybe the rain, or the affection lingering in the air in a situation like this. Had the warmth in his heart compelled him to say this? Nonetheless, he said it. Albeit quietly, afraid that you’d hear the thoughts he held closest and never even dream of reciprocating, or worse, judge him. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten so ahead of himself.

You didn’t react.

‘𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘦… 𝘈𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳.’ Neuvillette thought.

But you did hear him, and the heart sitting in your chest started beating faster than the rain would dare come down. Part of you wished the bus stop wasn’t so close anymore, so that you could linger in this moment. You wouldn’t need to think up a response, or pretend that you didn’t hear him knowing that he didn’t mean for you to, and you wouldn’t have to face the dilemma you were in now.

“Hurry up, we’re almost there,” you managed to call out.

And it was so annoying, but just as you were about to reach the bus stop, the rain calmed down into a simple windy drizzle again.

As if it had only rained so that he could say those words under the shelter of the rain, as if he could never say them any other time, as if he was so afraid to face the truth himself. It was nothing but a drizzle. If you just ignored his words, would things return to normal?

Would your stormy-ocean-wave of a pacing heart rate learn to hush?

You and Neuvillette stood under the safety of the bus stop, trying to catch your breath and wringing the water out of your hair and clothes. “I suppose that’s an adventure of sorts, right?”

“An adventure is for sure. I think this is the first time I’ve had such an excitable time coming out of an opera house of all places.” ‘𝘌𝘹𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦, 𝘩𝘶𝘩? 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦,’ you thought.

You sighed, feet squirming in the gross wet shoes you were wearing. Running in the rain with your crush didn’t feel half as romantic as the movies pretend like it does when it was such a sensory nightmare. At least you were out of the worst of it now.

Your eyes drifted over to Neuvillette, who was still trying to calm down the strands of his hair that were trying to fly off and away. “Hopefully we don’t get sick tomorrow after all this free shower nonsense,” you laughed. Part of you really wanted to stare into the abyss of his captivating lilac eyes, get lost in them and never come back. There was no way you could handle that.

“You know my immune system is stronger to things like this, so I worry more about you,” Neuvillette frowned and looked towards you. You made eye contact for a moment, but you quickly turned your head away from him and towards the sky. “I appreciate it, but there’s no way you can’t have a chance of getting sick after this?”

“I would definitely be surprised if I did catch a cold.”

There was a break in the clouds now as they became more transparent and drifted away. It was right around the full moon, which casted a glow on the entire road before you now that it was fully uncovered. You wouldn’t be shocked if it was a super moon and you’d just missed reading it on the news. Underneath the moon were puddles, scattered everywhere along the road.

While you were still looking away, Neuvillette thought back to the joke you made about turning into puddles. He wouldn’t mind it, honestly. Especially now. A quiet smile grew on his face.

There was no longer any rain. If you said it now, he’d be sure to hear it. You took a deep breath in before opening your mouth.

“Neuvillette. Uh…” You hesitated. Only for a second. “Actually, I think I feel the same way about you.”

“They sang so well… I feel like I made a fool of myself,” I groaned into my pillow. And the dream… 

There was no way they were going to make me wait this long for an answer. Stupid doctor joke, what does ‘my doctor told me to wait for a response after I confessed to them’ even mean?

I should’ve kept my mouth shut and not pushed the topic. I know better.

But even then, I’m stuck here dreaming about taking them out on a date as if we’re together already. There is no end to the contradictions.

Today. Before we fly back? Is that the right time to ask them if they’ve come up with an answer? After this holiday together, maybe they’ve realized they do want to be with me after all? 

“Get yourself together, Kamisato. What would your parents think if they saw you being crazy over someone like this,” I dragged myself out of bed. There were plans to go shopping today for gifts and souvenirs before we fly home, so even if I was worried, I had to get ready.

📸

“We’re shopping in duos and trios?” I raised an eyebrow after Ayaka and Yoimiya practically sprinted to the kitchen towards me, announcing their plans. “We think we deserve some alone time. Kazuha and Heizou decided the same thing last night… Plus,” Ayaka winked, “You can take [Name] on a date too.”  

I almost spit out the coffee I was drinking. “What is this nonsense? Did you check with them first?”

“Well… Kokomi said she has plans alone already. Gorou, Sara, and Thoma are going downtown with a plan to buy as many cheap deals as possible. You wouldn’t want them to be alone, would you? I’m sure they’ll be fine with it,” Yoimiya giggled mischievously.

“You know how cruel it is that you leave me no choice? You’ve already preplanned all of this just to leave me and my crush in a difficult position. You’re on cleaning duty when we’re home.”

“Yoi… He called them his crush…” Ayaka giggled quietly, as if it was actually concealing what she said (it wasn’t and she knew it). I sighed, giving in. “Go and have your date guys, I’ll figure it out.”

📸

“Last time I was here, I think there was some type of market that sold homemade jewelry. It should be a few streets down if you’d like to check it out.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. If you’d like to check, I’d like to see it too,” [Name] put down the ornament they were holding from a seller’s booth. They had zoned out a few times already while we’d been in the city, and I couldn’t help but worry if it was because of me. Despite spending countless hours throughout my life trying to read the micro expressions of people seeking a business deal, I couldn’t do the same for [Name]. Or rather, it was better to say that I believed it would be crossing boundaries if I did try and analyze them.

“[Name.]”

“Yea, Yato?”

“Are you alright?”

They seemed to blink away some invisible sleepiness before facing me straight up. “I’m sorry for making you worry, I must seem ridiculous. I didn’t get much sleep, to be honest. I was thinking about how I’m not returning home this break once we fly back and… Other stuff.”

They whispered those last two words. I had an inkling that I knew what it was about.

“That won’t do. There’s a cafe nearby, would you like some coffee to cheer you up?”

Their face perked right up. “That would be nice! Have you been to it before?”

“I have. However, their coffee is not nearly as good as yours. Especially because they don’t surprise me with adorable cat lattes made by an equally adorable barista.”

“Kamisato Ayato…”

“I will admit, the full name hurts. Let’s go?”

Even though things seemed relatively solved, I was still bugged by what they said. If they didn’t have somewhere to return to and were stressed about it… I could just as easily offer for them to stay at the guest room in my house, no? I know for a fact Thoma and Ayaka would have no issue with it. I don’t have any issue with it.

“What do you want to order? I’m paying, of course, so choose to your heart’s content.”

“Are you sure?” 

“I think I can more than afford to use some of my money on you, [Name],” I smirked. They didn't realize just how much I wished to do that. The thought of spending money reminded me of what was waiting in my bag.

“I won't stop you, but I'm not going to force you to spend your money just because you have a lot of it, Ayato,” [Name] smiled so brightly that I wished I'd actually spent a million dollars on them already.

“Let me treat you.”

They ordered a pastry and their drink of choice before finding a spot to sit beside the window facing the ocean. I lagged behind, ordering a matcha latte, but also standing there practically twiddling my thumbs in growing nervousness.

Maybe I shouldn't have bought matcha.

“Sorry, my order is ready now.” I pulled out the chair across the table from [Name]. “Don't worry. This pastry is so good… It's so unfortunate that this place is so far away from home.” 

“You can't try and make a similar type at your café?”

“Hmm. I could ask Shion and Sebak about it, now that you mention it.”

While they were staring at the waves outside, I took the opportunity to reach into the tote bag I had been carrying around. “[Name], actually… When we got separated a bit earlier, I bought you something.”

They faced me, a questioning look on their face.

I placed the gift box in the middle of the table. Thankfully, the man working the shop had wrapped it phenomenally well, despite not having much time, and it looked perfect.

“Seriously?” [Name] gasped as they opened the box. “I hope it's to your liking… I realized I don't actually know your tastes when it comes to equipment all that well.”

They rummaged through the box, staring at the gift cards for various camera stores we have at home (which I had already bought for them weeks ago, just unsure when to give it) and other camera-related trinkets I'd bought at the place I visited earlier.

“Are you for real? This is… Ayato, thank you,” [Name] frowned, staring directly into my eyes for the first time in a while. “Yes, I'm ‘for real’. It's nothing insane, but for being my friend, I thought you'd enjoy something like this. It's not often you find someone who likes photography the same way you do and is actually someone you value.”

“Yato… You know how insane it feels for someone of your status to say you value me? Of all people?”

Every single time they said my name with so much passion I felt the grip on my sanity loosen. When they made eye contact with me, not hesitating or looking away. My breath got caught in my throat.

“Of all people, you are the one I value most. Regardless of something as silly as status, [Name]. Oh, and do you want to live at my house during this break? You can return to your dorms when the semester starts again. You said you weren't going to your family, but you always have family at my home, even if not by blood relation.”

I thought seeing their joy would be enough to make me the happiest man. For that reason, I was truly stunned speechless when [Name] reached up across the table to plant their lips on mine. In a public café, no less.

Of course, I didn't have the strength to pull away or keep my eyes open. I fell into that kiss. It felt rewarding. So impossibly comforting. How could I possibly be so blessed to feel the texture of those lips against mine?

Just as quickly as it happened, [Name] pulled away. I wanted to bathe in the feeling longer, but it seemed that it still wasn't time. It left a lump in my throat that I had to swallow down, but I knew. It was just around the corner.

“Sorry. I haven't responded to you yet. I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry, Ayato.” 

[Name] got up from the table, packed their things quickly, and left the Café. Left me sitting at the table where they kissed me.

I touched my lips with my thumb and smiled to myself. 

Just around the corner.

— there's still around 3 chapters left! i'm currently slightly rewriting them so that they can be formed in written form instead of smau form. i haven't beta read this chapter by the way, forgive me for any mistakes. it's nice to be back to finish off picturesque! it's been 2 years since i originally posted the masterlist for this fanfic. 2 years sounds insane for something so small in the long run, but it's also going to be the first fic i've fully finished in a decade of writing fanfic. sorry for the constant inactivity! the reason the finale of this smau is going to be in written form is because i feel like it deserves more detail so that the pacing isn't awful and i also lost all the accounts for this smau for the nth time (consequences of using the mobile apps which lose all data when you switch phones.) bear with me for that please! and forgive me for tagging everyone on the taglist. i wasn't sure if people would want to be tagged for this for the first time in ages ;;