#kamisato

it almost seems the way you love citlali is boarderline obsessive.

but a little secret? she feels the same way. her world revolves around you and making sure you always stay impressed and happy with her. her biggest fear, though she'll never say it, is you leaving.

you two go to extreme ends for one another. it's always her or nothing to you- if you, let's just say, can't accompany her somewhere and would have to go with somebody else, you'd simply rather not go at all. but, yet again, she's the same way.

if one of you leaves, both of your lives are over, you think. not like you'd ever try to leave her. she means far too much to you to even think about that thought.

and on her side? she thinks she'd rather be dead than not by your side as your partner, your romantic lover. it makes her feel good and gives her a sense of closure that she can feel human like this, too. the day you stop loving her will be the day you stop breathing, and maybe even after, she hopes. you belong together in every lifetime.

he caught on to your outlook as soon as you both got together, and it almost scares him.

he loves you, very much, but at the same time, he's not sure if this is what he really wants. he feels nothing more than a mere puppet, and he almost lets you treat him like one; not that you ever would, though.

and the first time you told him just a couple words, it changed his whole outlook on what your relationship meant to him.

"never leave, please. i'm not sure i could go on without you."

and after that sentence was said, the amount of love he holds for you practically doubled, but there's no way you'd ever even be able to tell. he masks it all so well, but he never pushes way your advances to hold his hand or cuddle him to sleep.

you've learned to get used to his attitude, and you're unsure if your earth would keep spinning if he ever disappeared out of your life. he wouldn't even dream of leaving, but you feel too dependent on him to even have that thought.

she doesn't feel the same as you do, but you mean so much to her either way.

in a way, she really enjoys how clingy you could get and how verbal you are with how much you love her. you make sure to remind her of that everyday to make sure she's still satisfied and still loves you the same you love her.

and goodness, does doing something as simple as even taking a walk feel wrong without her by your side. if she's not around, it feels... strange. like her absence isn't a long term lifestyle you could live with.

you truly wonder how you did it before you met her. you couldn't imagine having to fall asleep without her clinging to your arm, or slow dancing with anyone else besides her. simply, life before her isn't something you know anymore.

and you silently pray every night to all of the archons that it's a lifestyle you'll never have to relearn, because you feel you simply cannot. she's part of your day everyday, and when she's not, it's a bad day in your books.

you guys share feelings, but he's much more possessive with it than you are.

you simply just cannot imagine a world where ayato isn't in it and need to make sure he knows it, while he cannot fathom you not being around and makes sure he knows what you're doing whenever you're doing something, for example.

you show this through clinginess and admiration that you verbalize. words of i love you being said almost every moment you spend with him, and he loves it. he loves being loved.

he feels he cannot focus on work as well as he used to be able to. you feel you cannot focus on house chores and your own work like you used to. he's always on your mind, and you're always on his. him leaving would be as if the world snapped into two, you think.

At least you had somewhere to go and didn’t have to request an extended stay at the dorms for break, so there was no point in getting so hung up on it. Your friends would be more proud if you took it maturely (however, they’d also try and convince you to get with Ayato, but two things could be true at once). 

On one hand, your friends had a point. It would make things a lot easier, and perhaps, you wouldn’t even need to return to the dorms if you did accept his feelings. You got lost in thought for a moment, thinking about how it felt to work on that puffy cat latte all that time ago. Your first coincidental meeting. How things had changed since then, you found it difficult to understand let alone put into words.

Every second you spent making the coffee led to this day in one way or another. Every photo the two of you had captured. The equally coincidental meeting on campus when you were able to put all the pieces together. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think this sufficient enough to be called a meetcute.

“Do you want to take up your luggage to the room first or take a break?” Ayato spoke up as he pulled into the driveway of his home. “I wouldn’t be against making us some coffee, if you want a cup.” You said it while thinking about the cat latte, but he didn’t need to know that was what inspired the idea of coffee. Not to mention, he had a fabulous coffee corner that you couldn’t let go to waste just sitting and looking pretty.

“Ah, in that case, I can bring up all your bags. You don’t have to touch a single one of them,” he smirked as he got out of the car and almost skipped to the passenger seat to open the door for you.

He looked incredibly giddy for someone who was usually so reserved. Part of you wanted to tease him even if you were still hung up on the previous kiss. You shook your head, gently, not in opposition to his words, but to shake the growing smile from your pace. “That would be really nice, thank you.”

You almost sprinted inside after getting out, guest key in hand (that Ayato gave you a few weeks ago), trying to escape his presence. Too much of it and you’d simply crack. 

Even though you quickly started on making some espresso and preparing the ingredients for a latte in his kitchen, your mind drifted off yet again. Ayato would come in through the front door every few minutes as he was bringing in your things, and it made your heart rate spike each time. You stared at the cabinet in front of you for entirely too long before you took out your favorite wildflower cup and the cup that Ayato usually used. 

There was no way to go about this normally. There was no solution other than the one staring you in the face. You poured the espresso into both cups mindlessly, drifting into the routine you would have at work while your eyes drifted towards your phone.

After you poured the frothed milk and foamed milk on top of the espresso, you set the cups to the side. There was already a notification on your phone when you pressed the power button. Just who you’d been wanting to message.

Roomimi: how is the move going? well, i hope?

You: yeah… just getting into the groove of moving things into their guest room now

Roomimi: that’s good! i wish i could visit, but gorou and i are visiting my mom :(( 

You: don’t worry, you’ll have time to see me any either time. is it okay if i ask you a question?

Roomimi: what is it?

You: should i just tell him the truth about how i feel?

Roomimi: …are you finally coming to terms?

You: i think i’m going insane holding back all this time, yes. i kissed him before we left for the flight home.

You: it feels selfish of me to do things like that because i like him, i really do. the amount of time i’ve spent with him and the way he’s changed my outlook on life and was always there for me to fall back on.

You: photography and fame aside, he’s such a gentle person and i feel awful doing this to him when i know that i like him

Roomimi: and don’t you think this is something you should tell him straight up, instead of me? especially if you feel so deeply about him to the point that you kissed him during our vacation.

You: …exactly. yeah. i think i have to do it :’))

Roomimi: all that matters is that you follow your heart. whether that be with ayato or your dreams <3

She had a point. You knew it, too. You stuffed your phone in your back pocket before taking the cups and bringing them to the cozy living room—turning on the ambient lighting and some music while you were at it. Ayato walked in shortly after, when you were already laying comfortably on the couch and drinking your latte. 

“It smells so nice,” he picked up the cup and sat down beside you. 

“You finished?” 

“Yeah, everything is in the guest room now. Or rather, your room.”

There was a feeling in your chest, as if it would burst out either into a flurry of butterflies or explosions. “Oh, and I have a welcome gift for you, to help you get settled,” Ayato smiled, gentle and warm. Loving. It didn’t make things easier for you.

You hesitated before finally saying, “I have a welcome gift for you, too.”

“Even though I’m the one that’s already living here?”

“Don’t ask questions, ‘Yato,” you pouted. He was conveniently close, so it only took you leaning in a little bit before your face was inches away from his and you pecked his cheek. Just a peck. 

“Is this… the gift?” Ayato stuttered, his mouth slightly agape and his arms frozen on his cup.

“No.” You whispered and leaned in again, this time carefully putting your lips on his. Making sure that they fit perfectly together. Calculating it—as best as you could with such a quickly beating heart and fuzzy mind. It was entirely intentional this time, not the rushed kiss you left before running away previously.

You didn’t want to run away. You only wanted him to be yours more than ever before.

Pulling away for a second, you whispered, “I really like you too, Ayato. I’m sorry that I let you wait all this time just because of my own doubts.”

“You should know I don’t care about that. Thank you, [Name]...”

It didn’t take long before both of your lattes were forgotten on the table and you were kissing on the couch that you’d fallen asleep on together a few months ago. 

— new chapter!! it took a bit since the last one but i'm trying to take it slowly. this kiss scene was so fun to write, i hope you guys enjoy it :(( yn is finally being a bit less stubborn hehe