Alexander

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Oh, yes! I definitely have the library on my list, but the National Parks is also a good idea! And animal clinics. Thank you I appreciate all the good ideas! Are you new in town? Most people have specific names in mind.

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Never a problem. They’re just my go to places when I want to donate, the places that need it most often. And, yeah, decently new. Been here maybe a month? Honestly time has lost meaning to me lately. But I’m still learning my way around. I was here once before a long time ago, but I barely remember that. Now I’m just trying to learn the lay of the land.

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Ugh, you’re right, I probably should call animal patrol but I make it a point to avoid doing that if I can. No cats. Not a good idea. It’s too soon  But since I’m not going to chase them down myself I… just might have to do that. I think I’m allergic. My voice has been a little scratchy since they started showing up. Wait, you can put chips in birds?

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I’m sure animal control could take care of them and get them home, or find them a new one. Well, if no cats, then dogs? Fox sounds? Lots of sounds can scare off birds. Allergic to feathers? oof. That’s shitty. Do you have Benadryl you can take? And I think so?? Honestly, not sure, but I don’t see why you couldn’t. We can chip super small dogs and cats so why not a bird?

As horrifying as the bad patron stories are… I’ll have to agree to refrain from them this year, lol.  I’m not even sure if that was the intention, if I’m being honest.  Perhaps it was a strange meat-lover’s quest to preserve their favorite snack.  I need to go through and see who last checked it out, because that might just give me all the clues I need.

Oh no, we would never throw out or destroy a book.  We just have a warning on the front about the potential greasiness of certain pages now, which I hope folks will be receptive too.

It was a copy of As You Like It by Shakespeare.  Perhaps there’s some commentary on forgiveness or prose here that we’re too disgusted to see.

If it had been jerky that would have been one thing. Most likely still would have ruined the book but at least not as badly as bacon which is just -- oh so greasy. Oh? Really? That’s so different from the NYC library and the Portland one. I’m so used to walking in and seeing the librarians weeding books and getting rid of old gross things. One even made a little -- sculpture like thing from the discarded books. 

Ooh shoot! Hopefully she does know someone, and if you did ask I would love you forever, even though I already doo *Laughing emoji, heart emoji*. Are you sure, Alex? I wouldn’t want to be a burden, although I’m sure Rigby would love an extra person around to spoil him rotten.

You better. It’d be a shame to have to lower your rank on my list because you didn’t *wink emoji*. You’re fine Gwen. My house is always open to my friends. I’ll do my best to be quiet when i come and go late at night. Work never rests you know? Oh! Rigby and I can go hunting together if you want to let him stretch his wings.

Of course I get home from escaping the cold to… well, more cold. Heater in my house is busted. *Sad face emoji, cold-shivering emoji* Anyone know any good heater repair guys? Or know a good place In town I can crash until I can get it fixed? This bird girl is not a fan of the cold. 

I don’t know of a good heater repair person --- the closest I can think of is Effie but she just does electronic repair. I can always text her and see if she knows anyone who can fix your heater. As for places to crash? You know my door is open if you need to get away from the cold. 

I don’t know much about birds but I do know parrots aren’t native to White Crest, so if anyone’s missing their beloved pets, there’s been a few hanging out in my backyard and Strawford Park. Please, please come get your Iagos. They won’t stop mocking me talking.

Parrots? That’s -- different. You could just get a cat, or play cat sounds and maybe scare them off? Otherwise you could try to catch them and take them to a vet or animal clinic or something? I figure they’d most likely be able to take care of them until their owners can get them. Hell they could have that chip that tells vets who owns them.

After spending a week signing paperwork and dealing with legal bullshit, I really need a vacation So, say someone wanted to make a large donation to a charitable cause in town. What would be the best place to do that? Asking for science.

That’s a wonderful thought. As for a charitable donation? Honestly, no idea. I’d look into places like the library or the parks and rec department? Those are always places that need it and it helps the city at large. Otherwise -- maybe animal clinics or the like? 

A pool might work. As long as it isn’t too crowded. Some pools are always filled with screaming children and I don’t want that. 

That’s true. I do like books. A library would probably be better than a bookstore, they won’t expect me to buy things. And bookstores get mad when you just sit there and read the books and never actually buy any of them.

Andrista Media Interview: Alexander Yeoh

Hello everyone, this is Roy Tucker your Andrista correspondant. 

Today I’m coming at you with an interview with one of White Crest’s local podcasters. Alexander Yeoh is a content creator whose podcast has a haunting but earnest aesthetic and he’s graciously agreed to talk with us. 

Welcome Mr. Yeoh, thanks for joinin’ us, how are ya today? 

Hello Roy, its pleasure to be here with you and your lovely listeners. I’ve listened to a bit of your things before I even moved here, so its an honor to be interviewed! I hope i’m an amusing guest for your listeners. 

Also, please, feel free to call me Alex. Hearing Mr. Yeoh makes me feel way to old. 

A pool might work. As long as it isn’t too crowded. Some pools are always filled with screaming children and I don’t want that. 

That’s true. I do like books. A library would probably be better than a bookstore, they won’t expect me to buy things. And bookstores get mad when you just sit there and read the books and never actually buy any of them.

That’s true... and who wants to be around toddlers? That just sounds exhausting. Ugh.

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[pm] Look, all I know is that nothing is making them go away. Come to my gallery at [user inputted address] anytime. Shit, even come to my apartment at [user inputted address]. They literally follow me everywhere. Don’t know what animal control can do at this point.

/ᐠ・ᆽ・ᐟ \

How do you socialize when going outside might melt your face off I feel like I should get out more, but I don’t really know any good places to do that when it’s hot out. Any suggestions? 

No bars. Or clubs. Or places that might be overcrowded. Or anywhere an employee might approach me and ask if I need help with anything. I know they’re just trying to see if I’m shoplifting and I’m not, and yes I know that’s what a shoplifter would say. My bag is just big because I have a lot of books in case of emergency.

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[pm] They’re saying some weird shit to me and look like they’re undead rabid. Didn’t even know those fuckers could talk. My cat Yuca has hunted a few of them, but that hasn’t deterred them. ¿Sabes que? You wanna try to come deal with them?

/ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

[pm]

saying weird shit? Like????? When did they learn to talk. uhh if they’re rabid maybe call animal control?  

I know I grew up here so cold weather should never really shock me… but snow in late July? The worst part of this isn’t even just that I have to shovel my driveway it’s that I just know there are some assholes who are going to use this to claim that global warming “isn’t real.” 

But anyway, if anyone’s got a good snowblower they recommend getting I’d love to hear about it. All this shoveling is getting a bit too strenuous. 

Snow in late July really is rather illogical, but it doesn’t discount global warming, people whoo think it does really have no knowledge of how science and global warming works. 

As for getting rid of the snow, I remember seeing a video a while back of a man using a flamethrower to get rid of the snow instead of a shovel. Seemed to work rather well.

Anyone else have these creepy ravens always outside their window? I’ve killed a few of the pendejos but there’s more. It all started after some dinner a walk in the woods if that means anything. I just want to get a glass of wine in peace, and now they’re starting to creep out my patrons and cat. Does anyone know how to get rid of them? Please pm me if so.

[PM] Creepy ravens? I’ve not seen creepy ravens... What is making them creepy? As for getting rid of them generally animals the birds would be scared of would shoo them off, or a motion sensor sound box or sprinkler might get them to bugger off.