home sweet home

god the loneliness of young adulthood is so real

it’s just trying not to cry on public transport and doing dishes

it’s sitting at home on a weekend and feeling this sudden wave of bittersweet nostalgia for something that never even existed overwhelm everything.

hey don’t cry. trees grow out of the ground.

the night sky has sparkles on it

the creatures live in the grass.

If you genuinely enjoy being alone, do you ever wonder if it is an inherent part of your character or if it stems from feeling inescapably lonely in the first place until you taught yourself to enjoy the peace and happiness one can find in solitude? what if the reason you now prefer & choose solitude at every turn is because you were a very lonely child, or teenager, not by your own choice, and that’s how you learnt to thrive and grow, so you no longer know if you can do that around people? There might also be an element of personal pride, an unconscious “you can’t fire me I quit” point when your brain decided to switch your feelings about solitude from distress to relief. I often find myself defending my love of being alone, to people who worry that I can’t possibly be happy to live in an isolated house in the woods; I insist that I do! I really do specifically enjoy the isolated factor and chose to live here because of it, but then I wonder how to differentiate an ingrained love of solitude from an acquired ability to thrive off unchosen loneliness, to learn from it and be nourished by it; to what extent it might be a form of contentment built on a bedrock of resignation.

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

i don’t grow out of my interests they simply become absorbed into me as i get older like tree rings

i’d give anything to not be perceived as a sexual being (ask me again in 5 minutes)

i can't get over the fact that i feel like everyone hates me