twist & shout

“Just a bit.” Valentina muttered with a roll of her eyes, amazed by how Kingsley was downplaying the war. It seemed as if the attacks and the killings had escalated and somehow it seemed like the fact Hogwarts was no longer safe was family helping people realize how dire things were. Probably because now it wasn’t just them at risk, but their children, too.

While Valentina could understand people wanting their children protected, Valentina was so grateful that it wouldn’t be her job for much longer that she almost wanted to request a secret partner meeting, but she would wait. She’d be his partner again soon. “I hope you’ve turned me into a terrifying creature of legend for them.” She declared, finding it ridiculous that any of them thought they could replace her. “As soon as the term is over, I’m back. I’ve served my time and someone else can take over.”

“Oh please, as if I’d turn you into anything else.” Kingsley said with a grin. He really had missed the ability to just joke around with someone who actually got his sense of humor. Though convincing all the junior agents Valka was a terrifying otherworldly hellscape in heels definitely had been fun. And honestly not too far off from the truth.

“You’ll get at least two weeks to terrify them all by yourself. Clara’s pregnant and she’s due soon, so I’m taking some time off to go help out with the kids. And the new babies. I promise to only tell you about them twice a week once I’m back. Also not to show you more than three pictures- one for each new baby.”

“Okay, good. That’s good.” Pip said not really settling back down, but at least not actively looking for a fight. She wanted out of the hospital badly though. That much was still clear as she tapped on the bed rail. 

“It’s just - his boy’s supposed to be born soon. He should get to see him.” Pip said softly. At the words of the book getting thrown at Yuki and Pat her eyes focused again. “What do you mean? They didn’t do anything wrong. The other guy started it and - they weren’t acting out of line. The guy was trying to provoke, and was acting violent. Who’s the head of that department I want to file a complaint.” 

Pip sat back up trying to get herself out of the bed despite her head feeling on fire, and places feeling sorer than they had felt in a long time. “If they’re over there now I want to talk to them. It’s not right that their getting put through the ringer.” 

Kingsley’s eyes went soft at the mention of Finnigan’s kid. The man struck him as a bit of a disaster, but he could appreciate someone willing to just about anything to be there for his kid. Especially in a world like this. 

“Times like these, the Ministry’s trying to make sure everyone’s always on their best behavior. If we look bad, they look bad. I can tell you where to find the name of their department head, though. Can’t say filing a complaint’s gonna be a smooth road. They’re not exactly fond of the general public at the moment.” Kingsley pulled a face, remembering the time he and Moody sat sitting outside the Minister’s office after Valka’s arrest.

He put one gentle hand on Pip’s shoulder, pressing her back into the bed. No way was she in any shape to go anywhere. Probably needed at least another few days of bedrest. “Nah, you’re gonna stay here for a bit. Then you can seem them. You need rest, Pip.”

“I feel like this is a question you should probably ask Moody. Just saying.”

Things surrounding the Wizarding world were changing dramatically as of late, but perhaps even more so around the lives of the Potters. So much had happened since their wedding in August that it was bewildering to think that was only months ago. Now things were beginning to look scarier than usual, which put a bit of a damper on the fact that they were expecting. Packing up everything you own to move into a new place was one thing, but to do it while pregnant and in such a short amount of time was an entirely different scenario. 

James had been doing most of the packing lately, since he hadn’t wanted to tire Lily out, though it was crucial that they move quickly. Of course, it helped loads that they could rely on magic. When James heard a knock at the door, he turned his head sharply, placing his wand back in his pocket just in case. Luckily, he wouldn’t need it, judging by the voice on the other end. 

“Does it involve any sort of mischief? Because I should warn you, I’m not in the best position for it these days,” he joked as he opened the door. “Sorry about the mess, but come in, come in. Would you like something to eat or drink?”

“No, no mischief.” Well, not Potter’s brand of mischief. This was more his line, or Emm’s. Just casually prodding and poking and seeing where things landed in the end. Kingsley knew that James didn’t really need a job but he still couldn’t shake the idea that Auror work would fit James. 

He stepped inside and took a look around, noting the boxes and the items floating to and fro. Lily was pregnant, due soon, so it made sense that they’d want something a bit bigger. Paul and Clara had recently upgraded since Clara was pregnant with triplets of all things.  

“I already gave my statement about what happened,” Pip said stiffly not liking being in the hospital again. She hated being in saint Mungo’s and wouldn’t have come if they hadn’t made her. Hell if she hadn’t been in pain she probably would have gotten a better argument then she had. She’d been knocked out for awhile she too. She doubted she’d be here for a long time, or that anyone would really notice she was gone, but the place made her feel uncomfortable.

It wasn’t Shacklebolt’s fault and it wasn’t fair that she was taking an attitude with him, but it hit too close to home. She didn’t remember much last time either “Look - you can keep asking questions but I said what I saw. All I know is a fight broke out and I jumped over the bar. I don’t remember anything else except something bashing on the back of my head.  I got a gashes to prove it.  Look - Shacklebolt what happened to Pat. You had to have seen him by now and no one’s telling me anything. His kid’s close to being born - you gotta tell me if he’s okay. I don’t have any family over here, I can’t ask them to check up on him. Please. I just want to know he’s going to see his kid.”

@kingmeshacklebolt​

“Finnegan’s okay.” Kingsley assured Pippa. He’d met her at Order meetings before, he liked her attitude. She had the spark he struggled to find these days. It was nice to see her in the hospital for something that wasn’t actually life-threatening. He didn’t mind Pip pushing back at him in a stressful situation. It was a completely normal reaction.

“I don’t know if he’s gonna see his kid, he’s out cold at the moment but he’s fine. Should wake up soon. Broke an arm but they’ve fixed that. If he’s awake he’s probably just getting the book read to him by the head of his department.” Kingsley was a bit more worried about Yuki than Finnegan honestly. She’d almost certainly get probation, because she was the visible asset of the Ministry. Even if the racist asshole had started it.

There’s one more weak until Hogwarts lets out for spring break and I can’t wait for the freedom it brings. I’ve been patrolling there so long now that I think some of the professors are beginning to forget I haven’t been a student for years - Filch had the nerve to ask where I was going one evening, as if I was a student out of bed.” Valentina complained, shaking her head as if it disgust.

While perhaps some people would have enjoyed being back at Hogwarts and reliving their school days, Valentina was not part of that group and was thoroughly sick of the behavior shown by the staff when they treated her not as an auror, but as a child in time out. Which, coincidentally, was what Valentina believed her time at Hogwarts to be. 

“Have you seen the flyers for the art show? I hear that there are going to be several old heirlooms from wizarding families on display. Despite the raid by the Ministry when my father was arrested, there are still a few valuables in the manor, perhaps I should loan them out one day.”

“Just tell him to snuff it.” Kingsley said, so glad to see her again it almost hurt. Even if she wasn’t really back on duty yet, they were both in the same place for the first time in ages and it settled his soul. After all the loss he had endured the fact that he still had Valka felt like one of the few good things felt in the world. 

He shook his head. “I’m not really big in the art scene on my best days, and times have been... a little bit consuming.” An understatement. Times had him run down to his very atoms. 

“School’ll be out soon, though. Then you’ll be back on normal duty yeah? Because the Junior Aurors have all given up on trying to stand in for you, and things are dire.”

He found himself on James Potter’s doorstep.

It wasn’t the first time he’d thought of James as a potential Auror recruit. Many times since joining the Order Kingsley had noticed Sirius and James had that spark of potential all Aurors needed. Moody hadn’t said anything about recruiting them though so he’d held off. They had their own lives after all. Now he couldn’t hold off any longer.

He rapped twice on the door. “James? It’s Kingsley. I’ve an idea that I think you might like.”

Sofiya hadn’t quite mastered being a person instead of a Nott, meaning that while she had spent all the week meaning to contact Kingsley and give him a hug and yell at the sky together, she had not done anything at all. She was embarrassed that Kingsley had had to reach out for her to do something, but she got ready right away and plopped into the fireplace without hesitation.

Without dusting herself off, Sofiya practically jumped at Kingsley, hugging him as hard as she could. She was so thankful that she still could and so sorry that she didn’t more often. Kingsley and Valka were fighters. Dmitry, too, and Sofiya didn’t take care of them enough. She needed to stop making that mistake, she owed it to them. 

“Oh Kingsley, I’m so sorry,” Sofiya said, letting Kingsley go just so he could breathe a little. 

Kingsley’s face had become a numb mask, but it cracked as Sofiya hugged him. He’d always maintained a soft spot for the Notts. With Dmitry fled and Valka off at Hogwarts most of the time, the soft spot had become more of a soft... everything. How could he not? 

“I don’t know what to do any more, Sofs.” He said softly. She would understand, wouldn’t she? It seemed likely. This woman had gone through enough of her own grief to understand. He trusted her. Nothing would make him regret that. 

“I feel so...” Kingsley struggled for the right words. “So useless right now. Nothing seemed to do anything for him, nothing I tried. Couldn’t find him, couldn’t save him when it mattered. What’s the point of me?”

Moody sighed slightly at the questions, as if Kingsley was the voice nagging in the back of his brain about the same things. After all, he was wondering the same things. He was patient, but he wasn’t a statue. He knew soon enough the fissures in his body were going to break. 

“Of course it bothers me. It always does,” Moody said gruffly as he leaned back into his chair. “If it didn’t I would be dead or worse uncaring. However there’s no use in dwelling on the short comings and frustrations we’re currently feeling. It’s been bad before, and it will be bad again but if it goes into our souls then we truly loose.” 

He sighed finally looking up at Kingsley. “I understand if you would like to resign Kingsley, but I can’t tell you that it’s going to get easier or nicer. I won’t fault you for it.”

Kingsley thought about it, weighing everything Moody had said against everything he’d felt over the last week or so. Everything reached him through a distant echo these days. Words took longer to hit and process. This morning he’d accidentally overfilled his coffee cup. He knew that he needed to take the time and consider what he said next. 

He didn’t want to verbalize ‘how can it possibly get worse than this?’ because he had so many loved ones he still could lose. He didn’t want to say ‘what do you even qualify as bad these days?’ because Alex was in Azkaban on bogus charges and that qualified as bad in any sane man’s mind. So he settled on something that felt just as true and just as dangerous and twice as terrifying, “What if it’s already in my soul? What if there’s no coming back from this, for me?”

Adelaide gave a small, sad smile. “Soup. Dahl soup.” She repeated, gesturing to the container in her hands, before placing it down on the bench. “My mother used to make it whenever I was sick as a kid, and it always did the trick.” Of course, Kingsley was going through a little more than a head cold, but the sentiment behind it remained the same.

She paused. “So, tell me how you’re feeling. I mean, like shit, obviously, but … I dunno.” She rambled. “I just- all I ever wanted was for people to shut up with their sympathies and I’m so sorry for your losses, I just wanted to be listened to. So that’s what I’m here for. You can cry, or yell, or scream, whatever, I don’t care. But you shouldn’t bottle it up, or keep up appearances for other people, because I did that and it only made it worse.”

“Thanks.” Kingsley said, trying his best to make his smile mean something. He appreciated what Addie had done, he appreciated that she’d shown up and checked on him, he appreciated that she still had a pulse. It meant something. Kingsley just didn’t know if he had anything left in him to use to express it.

It had been horrific. They had all been there, had all seen what had happened, what had been done, to Anson. It had affected all of them, if famous quidditch players were being killed then no one was safe, but no one was more affected than Kingsley. Merlin, hadn’t it only been a couple of months ago that he’d been found? That Adelaide and Kingsley had laughed in the hallway of the hospital because for once, everything looked like it might be okay? And now it was never going to be alright again, was it?

It had been weeks now, and everyone else had started to move on. But that wasn’t how grief worked, she knew that better than anyone. She had withdrawn, after her mother died. From her friends, her family, everyone. And it hadn’t done her one bit of good. She’d spiraled, badly, and she was determined to make sure Kingsley wasn’t going to go through the same thing. It would be different for him. He had someone who understood. And if that meant turning up at his place with a weird array of cooked meals and hugs to give out, she was going to damn well do it.

“Hello, just me again!” Adelaide called out, not seeing Kingsley as she’d walked in. “I made some soup this time. Well, actually, I made a lot of soup, mixed up the measurements a bit. Not to worry.” She paused. “You don’t have to eat it. You can live off nothing but chips, if you really want, I just want to make sure you’re eating something.”

@kingmeshacklebolt

Kingsley hadn’t known what to tell the cats. They’d had Anson back for such a fleeting, wonderful moment, that it had seemed like nothing could have touched them. They’d all been a family again. Something proper and homey, warm and complete. Something he could get used to, if he let himself.

And he had let himself. That was the problem at the root of it all. He’d gotten so bloody used to having Anson there to lean on, to come home to when days felt too long, that now he didn’t have Anson at all... He felt unmoored. Everything in his apartment-- their apartment-- felt too much like Anson. He couldn’t go home to the Estate, because had his boyfriend had traces there as well. It was horrible. He wanted it to end but he didn’t want to forget Anson, either.

“Kingsley if you don’t stop looking at me like that I’m going to assign you an Valentina on field work for the rest of the month,” Moody said not bothering to move his head from the work in front of him. The new eye had been getting slightly more powerful as of late and he seemed to be able to look without moving his head as much anymore. 

He didn’t know if that was a blessing or a curse. Probably part of a curse. Besides now he could see concerned glances his way. He hadn’t been told to step down yet, but he was wondering when the day was going to come. 

“I know you are concerned, but it’s not going to change where Alexander is and it won’t improve his situation. We’ve got people to try and clear, and there’s not much use pitting me when I’m not sitting in Askaban.”  Well at least not yet. He supposed that could happen any day now. 

@kingmeshacklebolt

Kingsley hadn’t quite gotten used to Moody’s new eye yet. The fact it could see through his skull was wicked cool and all, but the fact that he could recognize Kingsley’s sad moopy face did freak him out a tiny bit. Not that he would let Moody know, not if he could help it. Mostly because he’d never hear the end of it. 

But between the fact they couldn’t get Alex out of Azkaban and the fact that Anson’s mangled mutilated body wouldn’t leave his mind, Kingsley... had some concerns. About his ability to preform this job. About this job. About himself. About goddamn everything.