Swear to me.

duuude is that a losing dog? *gets out my wallet*

hello I don’t use this anymore but they follow me on all my other socials and I wanna yell about it.. I’m dating this person and they’re so fucking good. like I’m obsessed with them and I’m so happy and they said they loved me the other night and I’m just. Gay as fuck. holy shit. we went the the movies and literally just looked at each other the entire time idk what even happened in the film. Aaaa this could be it boys!!!!! Call me a useless queer who gets attached too quickly but this feels so different to anything I’ve ever felt for anyone before

got engaged btw

sibling relationships are so strange... like i love you. you will never understand me in a way that matters. we are the same person in drastically different ways. we are sewn together. we don't talk. we are attached at the hip. you wish i was never born. can i call you. let's eat together. i forgive you. etc

i don't have enough photos of you on my phone to make one your contact picture. we got the same tattoo completely by coincidence. why do you always get to be mario. i love the meals you cook. we live in different universes. you can stay at my house if you need. we have never been friends. you are more important to me than anyone on this earth

me and my partner adopted 2 cats this week that have been treated badly in their past so they’re pretty scared of people and they won’t let us touch them yet but they have improved so much in just a few days and i am so proud of them. every time they eat in front of us or sniff our hands or blink slowly at us i am overjoyed. i want to give them everything i love them both so dearly only good things from here on out my loves

who up doofen they shmirtz

I wish my job was hanging out and having fun ($1000/hr)

if they hate then let em hate and watch the money pile up

peace and love on fucking earth

your abstract concept fucking bit me