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@kingfell​  //   cont. !!

Her hand’s delicate, but the skin’s got this roughness to it, too, that just adds to her — he finds himself clutching onto her a little too tight, hoping the callouses on his fingers don’t feel too out of place pressed into her, or that she can’t feel the fact his hands are really Gods-damned sweaty from the too-flushed-too-shy-too-much embarrassment presently giving him a run for his money. He pulls her up, they stand there, and he glances away.

“I didn’t think we’d be climbing. Scavenging for food really is a — I mean, didn’t expect it to be easy, but…” Her laugh’s contagious, like he catches it from her hand and it drifts up to his lips. “Maybe we’ll just get takeout next time we camp…”

              “ it’s alright, really.  besides, if we got takeout, how would we be able to enjoy ignis’s wonderful cooking? ”

        the feeling she felt right now was far too amazing to pass up anyway, though she wouldn’t admit it out loud.  the sun on her skin, the slight breeze that wrapped around the rocky terrain, the feeling of his hand in hers -- it was almost like a dream.  yet, it was all real. 

a soft smile appears on her face, gaze shifting between his hand and eyes. yes, she was more than capable to make her way up herself, and were it anyone else she would make an effort to make that known. but this was different. of course, she would take any opportunity to hold onto the hand she had longed for. gently placing her hand in his, she ever so gracefully pulls herself up to his side.

“It would be the normal reaction to have.” He wants to see outrage and disgust on her visage, but all he gets is an expression filled with understanding. It is easier for her to ignore his deeds. Her rose-tinted glasses have not come off yet. “I have been myself for quite a while–ten years, I would say.” A heartless smile appears on his face, but there is no real effort behind it. The world, unkind to him? Maybe so, but all he had done was hurt others with no remorse whatsoever: manipulating, killing, destroying many people for his goal–feeling so wonderfully alive while doing it.

“It is the self I have tried to ignore and turn away from by marrying you and pretending to be normal.”

Her laugh reminds Kirei of a time when he still held the slightest hope, before it turned into despair–and his mouth forms a thin line at the gentle kiss placed on his knuckles.

His hands have been soaked in blood so many times, skin and bones broken. It has happened again shortly before arriving here, as the priest fought against the boy he so envied (Emiya must have saved the Matou girl by now, how detestable).

He has been worn out, tired ever since he can remember. Tired of not understanding, of numbness, of not feeling in the right way.

“Why are you still trying?”

            “ because i love you , dear .  would you like to be admonished by me this much ? ” 

                   he was tough to get to , but she knew this well enough .  someone like him would be ... someone punished by not only those who were supposed to love him but by himself .  it hurt her heart to see him still clinging to the suffering that had chipped away at him for so long . 

              “ ah , yes . ten years ... has it truly been that long ?  i suppose it has been .  in those ten years you have done terrible things , things you did because they got you closer to your goal .  is that not what everyone does ?  humans are terribly flawed beings -- we are all terribly flawed . ” 

                      anyone constantly berated by the world around them would be exhausted , so she knew he had to be as well .  her thumbs rub small circles on his hands as she holds them . 

                 “ you’re tired of it all , yes ?  you’ve been exhausted since before i even met you i’m sure ... pretending is tiring , constantly trying to get to something , anything , is tiring . ”

                         letting go of one hand , her hand reaches up to cradle a cheek once more .  

Fooled by my own wife!

How will I ever recover from this? Although at least you did not kill me…

kingfell replied to your post “Also when will my wife stop doing murder?”

I DON’T WANT TO BE IMPOSTER :C /claudia

Or maybe you are not actually that much of a saint…?