unintentional bullshitter

I turn 53 today. I have 53 thoughts, learnings, questions, and musings on my birthday.

1. The biggest sense of guilt I feel in life is when I have to turn right into a parking lot immediately following an intersection, causing me to block the driver behind me from turning right on red. I feel like I should get out, walk back to their car, and explain that I’m turning right immediately after the intersection and had to get in the right lane to avoid cutting someone else off. 2. The longest day of my life was the day Audrey had her first open-heart surgery. I’m pretty sure that will always be the longest day of my life. 3. I think self-awareness is the most underrated character trait. 4. After decades of deep thought and contemplation, I have concluded that the Beastie Boys were correct. You do have to fight for your right to party. 5. I still run most mornings, but I’ve stopped trying to run as fast as I can. My body thanks me every day for making that change. 6. At the end of the year, when Spotify sends me my most played list, Taylor Swift is going to be at the top of my list until Ella goes off to college. 7. Nobody could ever love Audrey as much as her family, but the staff of the Plano Regional Day School for the Deaf comes really close. 8. Insecurity is one of the worst character traits for a leader. 9. I don’t think I will ever get over the Luka Doncic trade. 10. I am still amazed that when Ella was four years old, she asked me if ketchup would be classified as a non-Newtonian fluid. 11. I still haven’t decided which is worse, stepping on dog poop with bare feet or stepping in dog pee with socks on. 12. Indiana Jones is my favorite movie character of all time. 13. The 1980s were awesome, but they would have only been 30% as awesome without John Hughes movies. 14. I can already tell that Ella is going to be smarter than me, and that makes me very happy. 15. Once we work through her communication issues, I think I’m going to learn that Audrey is smarter than me. At that point, “Happy” will not do my emotions justice. 16. Never again will I pass up attending a concert for a performer that I like and say, “I’ll just catch them the next time they come to town.” Sometimes, that next time never comes. 17. This parenting thing would be 40 times more difficult without the help of Walt Disney. 18. I want to run. I want to hide. I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside. 19. Taking my girls on a Disney Cruise was the best vacation I’ve ever taken. 20. Dry January was a good idea. 21. We need to rethink 65 as the retirement age 22. Solsbury Hill is the ultimate song about letting go. 23. As bad as things seem in the world right now, just remember that we survived the 14 weeks in 1996 when the Macarena was #1 on the Billboard charts. We will get through this. 24. I feel less manly driving a Subaru than I did driving my truck. 25. When I was invited out to meet friends at a bar or restaurant when I was in my 20s and 30s, I would ask “How is the scenery?” When I was invited out to meet my friends at a bar or restaurant in my 40s, I would ask, “How is the menu?” When I go to a bar or restaurant to meet friends now, I ask “How is the parking?”

26. One of the greatest days of my life was the day I was driving Ella home from school and “Enter Sandman” came on the radio. She said, “This song rocks. Turn it up, Daddy.” 27. Everyone should have a job that they look forward to going to every day. I’m finally there again. 28. Intelligence and wealth are not necessarily correlated. 29. When I worked out before the age of 50, I would spend most of my time trying to lift as much weight as I could. When I work out now, I spend most of my time doing body weight exercises to increase my hip mobility. 30. I’ll be so happy if I never hear the word “tariff” again. 31. I still don’t know what consultants do. 32. Ella: “Daddy, you don’t have to tell me you love me. I already know.” This is a request that I will never honor. 33. Ella: “Daddy, you don’t have to kiss my forehead every morning at breakfast. I’m not a baby anymore.” This is another request that I will never honor. 34. Dave Barry is my literary hero. My goal as a writer is to write just one line half as funny as Dave Barry’s least funny line. I’ll let you know when I do. 35. It’s probably not a coincidence that colleges can pay football players now, and SMU is good again. 36. I thought we had eradicated the measles. 37. Before I had children, I would read articles in the newspaper titled “The 10 Best New Restaurants in Dallas” to plan out my social calendar. Now, that same article might as well be titled “10 Places That Andy Hunt Will Never Visit.” 38. Having children later in life has made me emotionally energized and physically tired. 39. The theme song from “Greatest American Hero” still puts me in a good mood every time I hear it. 40. I am going to learn more from Audrey than she will ever learn from me. 41. I have always had a great group of friends because a few great communities accepted me. I cannot say thank you enough to the FUMC Irving Youth Group, the Nimitz High School class of 1990, Fidelity Investments DFW, SMU PMBA Class 59, and the IMPACT Sunday School class at HPUMC. 42. I think Prince could’ve written a song playing only a triangle and a bucket, and it would’ve been awesome. 43. It costs you nothing to be nice. 44. At my age, the biggest challenge I face every day is getting up from the floor after playing with my kids. 45. When did Chick-fil-A become so expensive? 46. Audrey is the best hugger in the history of mankind. 47. Socrates said the only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing. I can check that box. 48. I used to think it was a sin to not finish a book. Now, if a book doesn’t grab me within the first 30 pages, I will put it down and never look back with no regrets. 49. When I think about the ten greatest joys of my life, twelve of them include my children. 50. I don’t care how much my taxes would go up; I think we should double the pay of every public-school teacher. 51. My vision of hell is being barefoot in a room full of Legos. 52. I never wrote anything meaningful until I met my little girls.

53. Turning 53 hasn’t been too bad so far. (Note: I wrote this early in the day, so it’s likely that I will have pulled at least one muscle and misplaced my iPhone nine times by the time you read this.)