Chris

Has this been done yet? hero of twilight chasing down his boy while a disappointed glare is seared into his back

I never would’ve remembered biting down into the seam of these things, often splitting them into two near-perfect halves. The texture was bad, the taste was bad, and yet…I chomped.

I play a CN dragonborn bard. I have a criminal background, so I have an immediate distrust/distaste of authority. I was handed the unconscious npc mayor during a fight, since I’m distanced enough to keep her safe. Somewhere in the fight her eyes had started bleeding.

Me: I look to see if her face is still a mess.

DM: it’s dried, but yes-

Ranger: oh my god I so ship it.

Cleric: yesssssss this is so cute.

DM: aww are you going to wipe her tears away?

Me: … I use prestidigitation, I’m not touching that. You notice I’m holding her out like you would hold a shitty cat. Like, away from me.

DM: …the mayor is a sweet person..

Me: I don’t care?? I don’t like her.

Ranger: the ship..

DM: perception check.

Me: I’m awful at those. Um. 6.

Warlock: can I roll since I’m next to her? Rolls an 18.

DM: you notice the mayor has vomited onto the bards boot. The bard hasn’t noticed.