Illuminati confirmed

me, having been ignored for approximately .5 seconds:

You haven’t really fully lived in the midwest until you’ve experienced the chaos and odd comfort of playing in a pit filled with an incomprehensible amount of corn

some post: it’s okay if you haven’t done all these things yet! there’s no time limit and you move at your own pace! you shouldn’t be upset because you’re eighteen and none of it’s happened!

3 hours of sleep: I’m exhausted

forensic files narrator: … and he left his finger prints on the door knob…

performer: *makes a costume quick-change on stage*

Me trying to figure out how trashbag Jennifer Lawrence has an oscar when the academy has yet to recognize Megan Fox for her iconic performance in cinematic masterpiece ‘Jennifer’s body’:

depression: uhh stay in bed u dont have the energy and are incompetent of productivity anyway

me: [considers coming out to someone]