fun fact: janet is me.

“   you  live  your  entire  life  chasing  after  attention   &   food .   ” “   how  could  you  betray  me  like  this ??   after  all  i’ve  done  for  you .   ” “   i  would  chop  off  my  left  arm  for  you .   ” “   there  are  things  in  life  that  matter  more  than  food .   ” “   can  you  not  be  chaotic  for  five  minutes ??   ” “   you  are  literally  crazy .   ” “   you’re  lucky  you’re  cute .   ” “   instead  of  a  bladder  of  steel ,   you  have  a  bladder  of  fucking  paper .   ” “   don’t  give  me  that  look !!   ” “   stop  looking  at  me  with  those  big  ol’  eyes .   ” “   do  you  really  have  to  stare  at  me  while  i’m  changing ??   ” “   at  least  someone  around  here  is  happy  to  see  me .   ” “   it’s  rude  to  lick  someone  without  permission .   ” “   one  of  these  days ,   you’re  gonna  give  me  a  fucking  heart  attack .   ” “   your  brain  is  probably  smaller  than  my  fist .   i  love  you .   ” “   every  time  i  see  you  i  suddenly  remember  that  life  is  worth  living .   ” “   your  little  baby  sneeze  just  cured  my  depression .   ” “   you  are  my  only  source  of  serotonin  at  this  point .   ” “   see ,   you  know  you’re  cute .   that’s  the  problem .   you’re  too  powerful .   ” “   i  trust  that  you  would  bite  the  ankles  of  my  enemies .   ” “   i  know  you  don’t like  being  picked  up ,   but  you  are  so  small .   you  don’t  have  rights .  ” “   what ??   no   ‘  bless  you ?  ’   i’ll  remember  that .   ” “   you’re  being  too  quiet   …   what  have  you  done ?   ” “   it’s  amazing  how  you  make  everything  100  times  better  just  by  existing .  ” “   i  love  you  more  than  anyone  has  ever  loved  anything  in  this  entire  world .   ” “   i  am  starting  to  think  you  might  be  gay .   ” “   if  anyone  is  ever  mean  to  you ,   i  will  break  all  of  their  fingers  individually .   ”

janet edits / mutuals can rb. 

- YASHA NYDOORIN of CRITICAL ROLE. ( promo by concinnitytm. psd by fcmiliar. ) 

janet edits / mutuals can reblog 

            Hi, guys. I’m broken! indie janet of nbc’s good place. 

‘  you’ve  never  felt  too  gross  for  sex ?  ’

“You never struck me as the diapers and midnight feedings type.” “It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.” “You’re too shallow to dig on me.” “Are you a G-string? No! So stay out of my ass!” “I was trying to protect you. I was trying to keep you safe.” “I distinctly remember, your birthday was last year.” “I can’t quite tell what I’m hoping for.” “There are some wounds that can never heal.” “He doesn’t deserve to die in an overpriced Spanish revival.” “That probably would have sounded more commanding if I wasn’t wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.” “It sounded like when the grim reaper slips past your ear.” “Please don’t go. I love you so.” “Listen, I prefer the ladies but I’m an equal opportunity lover.” “I’m gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every, single person on the face of the Earth to do it.” “I want to play a video game where you just love the shit out of other people.” “Looks like that dresser has eyes. I just saw him looking at me.” “Ain’t it hard keeping it so hardcore?” “If I’m going down, I’m taking everybody with me.” “Look at you! Aren’t you just as pretty as a magnolia in May?” “If you do it right, their blood will paint the walls.” “Hate is always foolish, and love is always wise.” “This is not your destruction. This is your birth.” “If my calculations are correct, we’re in big ass trouble.” “It doesn’t always make sense and most of it never happened. But that’s what kind of story this is.” “Do not for one second think I am weak.” “How many times have you watched Pac-Man die? Doesn’t bother him. He just tries again.” “I wanna be the star of the show.” “All you will get from me is my support. And my respect.” “I know you love me, baby, but I fucking hate you, dear.” “You cry every time somebody talks about Titanic.” “Sorry if I scared you. I know I have somewhat ghost-like features.” “There’s no point in responding ‘cause it will not make them stop.”

“Hey, you’re not leaving, are you?” “I’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you.” “Just remember who got you out of prison.” “Once upon a time, I thought you wanted me.” “Feel the fear and the pain. Let it all in, and then let it all go.” “Does he feel like home to you?” “Get your hands off me.” “Some families are magnets for tragedy.” “That made people uncomfortable. Good.” “You really are a mood killer, aren’t you?” “If I was still your girlfriend and not just someone you couldn’t see a future with, I might care. But I’m not, so I don’t.” “When bad things keep happening to good people, you start to question what is right and what is wrong.” “My mama used to say that to me when I was little. And sing to me.” “Let’s see how you like it. Beg me.” “You know that I will always be there for you, right?” “This ain’t the Yellow Brick Road, bitch.” “Can we always be this close forever and ever?” “Technically not murder, definitely bad.” “The cruelest thing of all is false hope.” “I need you to know we’re not so different.” “Some hostage you turned out to be.” “This could be the last of all the rides we take.” “This guy’s definitely an alien.” “Don’t go where I can’t follow.” “We can do this the hard way or… well, actually, there’s just the hard way.” “I can’t believe you saw my mother topless and didn’t tell me about it right away.” “Do you guys know what Donnie Darko is about?” “We are going into a number of dark places, but I think I know the way.” “When you were in middle school, did people use those bracelets to indicate, like, sexual acts?” “Just stand there because I’m going to hug you.” “You’re not the kind of person I can be with.” “I’m running away from my responsibilities and it feels good.” “I don’t want people looking at me and thinking I’m mad.” “Sometimes, if there’s too many white people, I get nervous.” “The important thing is that we work as a team. Which means you do everything I tell you.” “I didn’t expect to find myself living in the future, but here I fucking well am.”

          “I think this whole low-carb thing is just a conspiracy to get people to stop enjoying life.” Already being vegetarian, if Aurora couldn’t have bread, or pasta, or potatoes, what would be there left to eat?

“Fun fact! Most things are.”