Struggling to cope recently. I’m so changeable and my bad times are really taking their toll on my relationship with my boyfriend. I know it’s starting to affect him more than it used to. I’m worried that I’m being too much to handle. I know I need help but I’m too stubborn to go to the doctors and tell them how I feel because I know how changeable I am so I think it will be fine. My boyfriend is starting to realise how often we say “things will be different next time” and they are just not. I realise this as well and feel stupid and feel like I am lying when I say things are going to improve. My mood is the reason we fall out ALL the time. This weekend just gone, we were so close to breaking up. He couldn’t see how we could be together anymore and it was for the best because I was hurting myself because my anger is out of control sometimes. However, I feel that this is a rough patch and my mood will improve, so I talked him into staying with me. We agreed that if we argue again, we’ll go on a break or just break up for definite. It’s our two year anniversary this weekend and I wouldn’t be surprised if I fuck this one up. I fucked up last years anniversary.
