venom drippin' in your mouth

she'd impulsively gone and gotten her hair cut short, figuring the new year surely had to be the time to make drastic changes in her lifestyle. aranya wanted to move forwards, not backwards, and be the well-put-together girl she always aspired to be. though her start to the new year would likely indicate the opposite. she'd made herself a smoothie bowl and an iced coffee, enjoying her peace in the kitchen, even if it only did last for a moment. in aranya's defense, she'd been zoned out, eyes on forming a cute heart in with the thickened liquid, entirely too startled by noah. her eyes would widen slightly, before looking away, a nervous laugh leaving her lips and an attempt at deflection. "did you just get home? fun night?"

"mm, such terrible, heinous fun, bunny. you wouldn't approve, so, you know, it was a blast." he leaned forward, chin in his hand, and watched as she poked at her smoothie bowl. she was nervous--he could tell. his penetrating gaze probably wasn't helping the situation but it was odd. how quickly she transformed when she was back in the public eye. it was such a contrast to the woman he took to bed after the new year's party. they were both drunk and just looking for fun but he was almost disappointed that that version of her seemed to be hidden away now. he frowned and leaned back. "make one for me?" he asked, nodding to her smoothie bowl.

"and you don't want my forgiveness," denver replies leaning into the table. the man places his head on both of his hands for support, staring into the other, trying to analyze him, "you don't want absolution because you don't feel guilty for what you did. you just want me to fall right back into you because you're not used to not getting your way," he keeps his face blank, afraid to show any weakness noah can use against him. it's like they're in the middle of a chess game he never agreed to play. although he comes from a long line of liars, denver has never been good at playing mind games. his dad says it's because he wears his heart on his sleeve, he puts too much of himself into everything he does and the people he loves. he wonders if that's what attracted noah to him in the first place- if it made him an easy target. all he can do is laugh when the explanation finally comes, there was no grand scheme, no secret plan to ruin his life, his best friend fucked him over simply because he craved attention, "very fucking selfish," denver agrees, "when i called you a psychopath... you said i already knew that. i didn't." the male clarifies, holding onto his drink with an iron grip, "was any part of our friendship real?"

noah sat silently, working his jaw as he listened to denver try to figure him out. he wasn't far off. "that would be the ideal solution," noah agreed, but he leaned forward too, bringing their heads closer together. they were mic'd up, but he still didn't want to attract any cameras. "look, when this guy approached me--i don't know who he was. a fucking journalist? a tmz lackie, i don't know. all he asked was for information of the castillo family. they didn't specify who. they were hungry. they didn't care what i told them; they would've taken fucking anything." he ducked his head, keeping denver's eyes on him. "you're my best friend, den. i could've told them anything about you. anything, but i didn't. i wouldn't." he doubted it would be any consolation to denver, their moral compasses were on opposite hemispheres entirely but to noah, that meant a lot. "so, no, i don't feel guilty about fucking over your father." noah's loyalty was a very small box, and extended family weren't included. he paused when denver brought up their last conversation, taken slightly off-guard. you'd have to be blind to not notice noah's worst qualities. his tendency to lie, to be possessive. the way he lacks empathy, bathes in petty cruelty. he always thought denver saw him for who he was and just didn't care. he sits back at the revelation, regaining distance. "i didn't manipulate you, if that's what you're asking. you told me about yourself and your family because you liked me, and i followed you around and hung on every word because i liked that you liked me." was that not friendship? "is that not real?"

there was still a degree of normalcy between the two, the comfortable distance aranya had suddenly gone as she was pulled towards him. she glanced around, noticing that from where they were, it would hard for the camera to catch them. "surprise you?" she asks, space between them feeling incredibly small. aranya would happily blame the drinks and shots she'd had for her forwardness, not thinking to second guess her choices in the slightest. because in no sober state of mind would she have let herself close the gap between the two of them, hands tugging at his collar as she kissed him. "you really frustrate me sometimes," she spoke after letting go.

some part of noah thought she'd chicken out. good girls like her should know to stay away from him, but aranya's never shied away from him the way she should've. that intrigued him. she intrigued him. still, the ball was always going to be in her court. noah didn't know how easy she spooked, so he waited for her to make the first move. and when she did, noah stopped being gentle, digging his fingers into her waist, the fabric of her dress bunching slightly in his grasp as they kissed. when she broke the kiss, he just mumbled, "i know," and grabbed her chin, pulling her mouth to his again.

          “ I don’t trust you with all the slang, little brother, ” Nicky pointed out, reaching forward and affectionately patting Noah’s arm. He could tell alcohol’s running in Noah’s system, maybe a little too much of it. But that’s what others do on new year’s eve, right? Party it up. “ Money is pretty overrated, isn’t it? ” He commented, indulging Noah before grabbing two flutes of champagne when a server walked past them. “ My resolutions — do you wanna hear the boring ones or the better versions? ”

"whatever," noah grumbled. "i'm good at english too, you know. i'm definitely cooler than you." now that he was comfortable around his elder brother and had alcohol in his system, the faintest hint of his accent was leaking. he'd spent a lot of time perfecting his american accent but around nicky, it was like he was still twelve years old, spending his evening listening to english shadowing cds. he accepted the champagne happily, taking a conservative sip before replying, "i want to hear your realistic ones. we haven't talked much yet this trip, nicky, i wanna know how you're doin, what your plans are."

"i can't make it that easy on you though. then it wouldn't be any fun for me," she explained, grinning at him disagreeing. "we'll meet halfway. that would be fair, right?" of course, she wasn't a particularly vulgar person to begin with, likely why she opted to not actually say the word. she'd say it, but not casually. a happy middle, if you would. of course, her reaction to noah doesn't do much to convince anyone she isn't innocent. eyes widened as he got closer suddenly, having to break eye contact with him to pretend her cheeks tinting any further. the drink beside her was emptied before she gave it a second thought, composing herself and grabbing his hand. "fine, let's dance," she said, looking back at him finally.

"halfway? alright. i'll play your little game. don't think i'll forget - my birthday's coming up in a few months." noah's smirk widened as he watched aranya down her drink and grew even further when she grabbed his hand. oh, this will be fun. he usually was the one to lead others to the dance floor, being bold was his defining feature after all, but he gestured for aranya to lead the way and trailed behind her. when they reached far enough in the crowd to disappear from wandering eyes, he tugged hard on her hand to twist her around and pulled her into him. "now's your chance to surprise me."

"ah, damn it." noah snapped his fingers, pretending to be mildly disappointed. "knew i should've taken bible school seriously. well - hell on earth won't be so bad. you've got me." he smiled and hit the side of arlo's arm playfully. he knew that wasn't a plus side for arlo, but he lived to tease. when posed the question, the first thing to pop into his head was go home. their school in michigan was filled with international transplants who'd made the state, and country, their home but noah still didn't see the place as his home. south korea was, and there were nights he still lay awake wanting to desperately go back, knowing he was unable to. but that wasn't an answer, not one for arlo, so he abandoned the arcade game and turned and met the older man's eyes. "i don't know. usually if i have a desire, i act on it. there's not much room in my life for wanting and not having. why? looking for someone to show you some fun, 'lo?"

          “ No one uses the b-word anymore, man. It’s no longer cool, ” Nicky corrected, propping his forearm on the table and grinning at Noah. “ Get money — for ludicrous spending reasons or for paying the bills? ” He didn’t think Noah’s needing that kind of cash if it was the latter, although he might be wrong. “ How about some champagne, then? For the two of us, yeah? ”

"what are you talking about? bitches is all-inclusive. you're a bitch, i'm a bitch--it's all about whose bitch you are. that is the deciding cool factor. trust me, nicky. i know all the slang." he was a little too drunk, three drinks max before he started slurring, which was the only reason they were even debating this. "get money for fun, solely. getting it is the fun part, having it is.." he shrugged. "overrated." noah's father sent him money every month that was basically a small salary; he wanted for nothing. he liked taking it though. "yeah," he repeated, on the offer of champagne. "i haven't had any yet. grab us a glass and then tell me about your resolutions."

"when you put it like that i'm much less sure about my approval," she replied with a pout. "i can't be held responsible for what you say, but maybe i'll make you a pretty pass to carry around for your birthday with a few of my conditions." aranya supposed it would as good of a time as any to use the bedazzler she'd bought a few months ago, even if she didn't always agree with noah's more abrasive side. "i already know how to use the f-word, thank you very much. i might be nice, but i'm not innocent," she contested. "you know what thing," she said, eyebrows raising at the clueless expression covering his face. she knew for a fact that she wasn't just seeing things. "it's impolite to start something you have no plans of finishing."

"conditions?" noah didn't hide his displeasure at the thought of him being reigned in by any set of rules. "like what? i feel like any conditions you come up with would immediately take the fun out of anything i wanted to do. thou shalt not insult your friends etcetera, etcetera." noah raised an amused eyebrow at aranya claiming she wasn't innocent but still repeating 'the f-word' instead of just saying the world altogether. it wasn't helping her case, but it was cute. "oh, i think you like me best when i'm impolite," he mused, a smile tugging on his face. he leaned forward then, eyes darkened and full of intent, just to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "let's dance."

denver is nowhere near drunk enough to have this conversation, but he's never been the type to turn his back on a problem. he figures he can't avoid his former friend forever especially since they're contractually obligated to live under the same roof. "don't get ahead of yourself, i only said tonight," the male replies sipping on his drink. the cold exterior only exists to mask how hurt he still is over noah's betrayal. every memory they shared is forever tainted; it's hard to differentiate which moments were real and which were noah trying to pry information out of him like a dirty thief. a dry laugh leaves him when he hears the other's proposal, it could never be that easy, even as a game of pretend. still, denver nods and raises a glass in his direction, "okay, i'll bite. only if you promise me honesty in return," the unfortunate truth is that there's so much he wishes he could talk to noah about, so many months worth of stories he wants to share with his best friend but can't out of fear of getting played again. fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and i'm a fucking idiot. since he trusts noah as far as he can throw him he settles on a simple topic, " you are. you know, i've been breaking my head the past couple of months trying to figure out why you did what you did and i keep drawing blanks. so, why did you?" 

"no, that's not--" noah cut himself off with a noise of frustration. he didn't want to talk about them. he wanted to talk about anything else but them. pretend they were still best friends, because in some sick way, noah knew that was the only way he'd ever have denver again. by playing some stupid child's game. but things didn't work out the way he wanted them to, the way they did with everyone but denver. he was the one game he couldn't crack. he leaned back in his chair, sucking on his teeth for a moment while trying to figure out how to go about this. "you don't want honesty, denver. i know what you want. a reason, right? a good one. something that makes us make sense. something maybe you can forgive in a year, maybe two. maybe less if i grovel, right?" he laughs a little to himself, then looks down at his hands, flexing his fingers just to have something to look at besides the man across from him. "here's honest. den, i did it because it was easy." noah looks up then, so denver can see that he's not lying, that he's not smiling. "because someone wanted something from me, and i liked that. i liked that i was needed. that i had something someone would pay for, trade for. that i was valuable. how selfish, right?"

"good," she replied brightly. as ironic as it was, she really did think that noah was a good, kind person. flawed surely, but good nonetheless. "i totally support it. but i do think that you're great just the way you are already. if you went full good, you might just be too perfect for the rest of the world," she said half-jokingly, though she meant the first part sincerely. "i'm sure there's plenty others to stir up drama in the house, i'm okay being on the sidelines." the producers had brought it up to her, the idea of her not getting along with certain people or starting drama, none of it something she could ever go along with for the show. at his words, aranya suddenly found the sight of her drink far too interesting, ignoring his wandering eyes. "you're doing that thing again," she commented, finally looking back at him. "of course i'll save you a dance."

he faux-gasped. "no. way. the aranya saeli giving me permission to be an asshole? can i get that in writing? matter o' fact, can i get like a hall pass so whenever someone is like," he put on an irritating, deep voice, "'oh my god, noah, you're such a dick', i can just give them the pass and say it's miss sunshine approved?" the idea was amusing to him, and noah would never pass up on the bit of giving people free passes everytime he had something nasty to say, which was almost always. "mm, okay, but you know where my room is if you ever want someone to teach you how to use the f-word in a sentence," he joked, running a finger along his glass. he glanced back up to her face with an clueless look on his own. "what thing?" he asked innocently.

OPEN @ anyone NYE event!

"hey — real a for you," noah quipped back, resting his chin on his hand. he was feeling drained already, and he always sought out nicky when he needed a break from everything and everyone else. "mm, let's see. get bitches, get money, get you a real drink?" he flicks the edge of nicky's glass.

only a handful of people know that despite his constant need for attention, denver has never been good at parties. sure, he can climb on tables and dance like he's having the time of his life, but sooner or later, he grows tired of being in a crowd. he sits in a booth with his feet planted on the table, the articles on his phone are a lot more interesting than the drunken bodies downstairs. however, his peace doesn't last long because the moment he looks up, noah is standing by the door. denver bites the inside of his cheek, unsure of how to act around the other man. he doesn't regret what he did at the disco party- in fact, he wishes he could've done more damage- but the grief that comes with losing your best friend is hard to shake off, "don't worry, i'm not gonna hit you," he says, pausing to take a sip from his drink before he continues, "tonight."  there's a playful smirk tugging at his features, and just for a second he doesn't hate him, "i promised big brother i would be on my best behavior," and given what he was about to do tonight, he can't afford to get kicked off the show. when the silence borders on uncomfortable he nods to the empty seat next to him, "you still want that drink?" 

even though denver promised not to hit him, noah was still a bit wary as he walked over. noah always avoided the ticking time bombs, but he couldn't stay away from denver long if he was paid to. there were few people he truly cared for, few people he'd been real with, and he couldn't ignore their past even after the worst fallout. "i think we've grown past promising not to hurt each other, huh?" he edged forward closer still at the offer of the drink, wondering if it was truly okay if he sat. he didn't respond at first, just looked over at his best friend. wondered what demons were sitting on his shoulders. he had an inkling of an idea, but for once, noah didn't want to be in the business of other people's business. not unless they wanted him to be. after a long, hesitant moment, he finally sat and motioned for another round of whatever denver was drinking. he waited until the drink came and went before he said, "let's play pretend tonight, okay? i'll play the friend you remember. the one you can tell shit to, not the psychopath who'll use it against you." instead of drinking the glass given to him, he nudged it across the table. "what's on your mind, den?"

at the mention of personality changes, aranya could only roll her eyes, a laugh leaving her lips. "you've always been so sweet to me, noah. don't tell me you plan on getting all mean just because it's a new year," she replied, sweet smile plastered over her face. "i already like my personality, why would i change it? i don't really think i could be a bitch, or at least an intentional one anyway. just not who i am" shrugging, she took another glance at noah, bringing her tequila sunrise up to her mouth for a sip before speaking. "you look well rested, even if it was definitely more than two or three. and red is totally your color."

"mean to you, bunny? never." he was being facetious, but it wasn't a lie. he didn't think anyone could be mean to aranya. if there was ever a person who could be the nation's sweetheart, it was her. "actually, i was thinking of being good next year. what do you think, huh? me, a reformed man?" he teased. "alright, fine. stay pure. i think a personality 180 would be fun, though. especially on live tv." he sat straight again, deliberating the past days he's spent hidden in his room. he hadn't done much sleeping. actually, he hadn't done much of anything, but he didn't really want to talk about the reason for his self-isolation so he quickly deflected the attention from himself. "please, no one in this place looks more stunning than you tonight." he made a show of his eyes traveling down her length. "save me a dance?"

arcade room @ basement w/ ( @kiingkang ! )