Title Pending

People will straight up call your cellphone and expect you to answer

full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009

remember when writers had to be all like: “omg omg lemon starts HERE” y’all are lucky that ao3 has tags and filters you can set

god those were lawless times. 

big fan of anything that shuts my brain off for a little while

big fan of anything that shuts my brain off for a little while

Honestly, about 80% of the blame for my insufferable preoccupation with metatextual bullshit can probably be laid at the feet of the fact that I grew up reading Choose Your Own Adventure books.

no ad is as powerful as a tumblr mutual who has a new hyperfixation 

I’m in this photo and I’m trying to make everyone else like it.

washing down my birth control and anti anxiety meds with fourloko rendering both instantly obsolete

adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline

You know what is the worst? Being a reader trying to catch up on fics WHILE bring a writer who is behind on writing their own fics.

Being a writer and wanting to read more of your own fic that you haven’t written yet

[Dad: How’m I doing on your hair? Child: Good! Dad: Let’s see, do I need more grease? Child: Yes. You need more grease on there. Dad: More grease? And then what? Child: And then you gonna need to brush it, and then you put a band on there. Dad: A band on it? Child: Yeah! Dad: Aww.. Child: You’re getting it through! You’re almost done! You’re doing a good job! Dad: Aww, thank you, sweetheart, so much! Daddy’s trying, doing the best I can. Thank you so much. Child: You’re welcome! Dad: I’m almost done! Child: You been doing great! Dad: Aw baby, thank you so much, you’re so encouraging to Dad. Thank you. Child: You’re welcome. Dad: I really appreciate you so much. You’re so awesome. Daddy getting your ponytails ready for school.]

Interrupting all the political ugliness to make you melt with cute.

Me as a father

this is so pure

do you ever sabotage your own free time? like wtf is that about? i want to play this game or read or do something specific but instead i will just stare out the window or scroll mindlessly???