lazy nymph

ive been alone all my life and all ive ever wanted was to not be alone in it

Movement nudge! If possible, go out for some walkies!

A lot of people will judge their compatibility with someone off things like “do they have hobbies” “are they funny” “are they ambitious” “what music do they like” literally whatever the fuck. But even though someone could check all those boxes, a connection can never be appropriately formed if the answer to “do they make me feel safe” is ambivalent and unclear. Always ask yourself “do I feel safe around this person” when forming both friendships and relationships. Ask if you’re a safe person for them too. How cool a person is can never make up for lack of emotional safety on either end.

& again, you don’t need someone to be a virtual echo chamber for this to be achieved. I’ve learned to ask what someone’s conflict resolution is like, how they respond to differing opinions, how they handle my opening up to them, how thoughtful they are. It goes without saying that you should check yourself too. You’re not perfect - you need to put conscious effort into connecting properly with another person. There are so many friendships/relationships I had that were bad for me on the safety end, but I still stuck around because they checked my “they’re cool” box. Someone could be the coolest person ever, and still a connection with them falls flat if they’re unsafe (or if you’re unsafe!!!).

people protect their pain so carefully it becomes the only thing they never lose

it’s really august huh… like 8 whole months have passed……….. disgusting