keyesgen 💜

AUTOPSY and HEAVEN WEEPING, the opener and closer, are the only two story-based conceptual tracks, and they tie into each other. following the story of Harmony, who falls ill with hanahaki disease involving delphinium flowers and dies. AUTOPSY is about a negative subset of true crime podcasters and youtubers that stick their nose into cases and don't leave families to grieve privately. it's also about how people only care about someone when they're dead. HEAVEN WEEPING is Harmony in purgatory, waiting to see if she will be judged into heaven or hell. she is reminiscing on life, and felt that she died unloved and hated.

the rest each write about love in their own way. CHERRY MARTINI is the emotional intensity of alcohol and how it can make your love for someone feel stronger than it does sober. LOVE LOCK MODEL talks about the phenomenon of "AI boyfriends" or people dating their instance of a large language model. TAKEOUT is robot yaoi. i don't rly need to say anything else about that one. FEEDBACK LOOP is technology feeding delusions, and is also another case of the AI boyfriend phenomenon. DEPRAVITY is about sexual trauma. SALVATION is about finding sexual freedom. LOVE HIGHWAY is a virtual idol falling in love with humanity and wanting to sing for them. BRICK WALL is the concept of tough love, and how a lot of people put emphasis on the tough rather than the love. OXYCODONE is about feeling chemically addicted to your ex in a reliving trauma way. RED STRING is about the red string of fate myth, specifically about it tying you to a bad person. APOPTOSIATE and PARALLEL both touch on being a system, APOPTOSIATE the safety and protection, and PARALLEL the emotional comfort, both of which is this loving bond you have with yourself.

which brings us to SENSORY. it's an outlier. all the other songs touch on love as this kind of external thing, not directly involving me. SENSORY is about my love for MACHINA MORI. it is the only track very specific to the love i have for something.

you can view the crossfade on youtube to get a feel for the tracks

i wanted to talk about it a little more in depth, since the development cycle and how i got here was initially in a very different form.

i started working on it thematically alongside the tail end of MtEEHt's development cycle back in april of last year, and continued to creatively work on LIMW until this year in march. i finished all the mixing and mastering this month.

a lot happened to me in this time frame. the biggest one is the loss of my closest companion, dagwood, who had been by my side for almost a decade and got me through some of the roughest periods of my life. part of my soul was cremated with him. it's why i wanted to write about love in the first place, because he showed me that unconditionally.

the album is loosely conceptual. MtEEHt told a very specific story, about a girl named Marie Palmira, her experiences, her trauma, her ascension into a cosmic being. LIMW instead goes into a different direction: single track concepts with a theme of love. a user falling in love with a chatbot. the ancient myth of the red string, and it tying you to an awful person. robot yaoi. cycles.

there were more tracks. it was initially called DELPHINIUM. everything i changed and scrapped made me sick to look at and listen to, and i almost entirely scrapped the album. i had considered it a wash and was preparing to start over.

but then i looked at all the work i did. the concepts i was so proud of. the story i wanted to tell. the initial reason why i wanted this album to be about love in the first place.

so, i kept the concept songs, spun them together under a new coat of paint, and titled it LOVE IS MY WEAKNESS because that's what it felt like.

please note that while more songs of mine can definitely resonate, these are the ones i can recall having this be explicitly referenced. my experience will weave its way into everything i create.

first we have my album, Music to Experience Existential Horrors to. this album is so transgender. being trans (and a system) is the core behind the album's concept. that being said, there are a couple of songs that are very upfront in their themes and messaging

1. Cracks in the Window is about coming to terms with your identity and starting your transition in an unsupportive household. This one is the most blunt.

2. verticillium is about abusive partners forcing detransition and cutting people off from their support networks.

3. GENETIC DISASTER is about transitioning as a system.

outside of MtEEHt, i've written a few others

1. OTT is mostly about being a system but also about self-love, including embracing being trans.

2. Reflection is about loving who you see in the mirror after transitioning.

3. Driver's License is about societal pressure, mismatching IDs, and dealing with transphobia.

4. fracture is a bit vague and touches on several things, but part of it is gender dysphoria and being guilted by people after you start transitioning.

5. mushroom forest is just verticillium. verticillium is a direct extension and remaster of mushroom forest, so they both share this theme.

this improved stability will go hand and hand with the recent v2.5.1 update to diffsinger itself, which fixed a bug in how cross-lingual phonemes were treated.

this update also includes added support for greek phonemes and a fix to his integration with the filipino phonemizer.

furthermore, there is a section currently accessible at the bottom of the music page. this is where instrumentals and vocal synth files currently live, and where stems will live!!

i want to include svp, ustx, and vpr files for every song. vpr files require extra care after conversion to work properly, so they're not available for every song just yet. i am actively working on it.