So I just learned ejaculation comes out at 27mph. That makes it illegal in a School zone.

there are other reasons ejaculation isn’t generally accepted in school zones, but sure

friend: are you okay? me: *trying out coffins* why do you ask?

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

My favourite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call

It’s called connotations.

#Ok but for a second there I was like #this is a bit exaggerated #it’s not that rude to say hi to strangers #just a bit weird #but then I realised #the rude person is probably meant to be the one ignoring the ‘hi' 

None of these people are joking.

@lordviridis

I’m super rude and jump for the free bench as soon as possible xD But yes, all of this is 100% true.

100% confirmed. 

I never understood the thigh gap thing everyone has a thigh gap if youre fucking stance is wide enough 

But they’re talking about a thigh gap when your legs are together

The Fuck Who would wanna date someone who isnt in a power stance all the time

breathe if you think im cute