K.

I think depressed people tend to sleep a lot so they will not feel the pain and stress of being awake.

Lagi na lang ganito yung napapasok kong situation. Yung ako nilalapitan, pinipilit magopen up, magmahal, kahit na comfortable na ko kung nasan ako. Kung saan nakikinig lang ako, tumitingin lang ako, tatawa lang ako. Tapos papakitaan ako ng magagandang bagay, aalagan, paparamdam na special. Pero conditional pala yun. Yung binibigay ko na lahat kasi akala ko ok na. Pero I will always be the same person pala. Yung convenient. Madaling lapitan, madaling kausapin, hindi hassle, hindi demanding. Madaling mahalin, pero hindi deserving ng commitment, ng dedication, ng loyalty. Yun laging pwedeng magadjust. Pwedeng maghintay. Yung pwedeng makaintindi. Kahit hindi ko na maintindihan, kahit hindi ko alam kung may hinihintay ako. Kaya kong hindi isipin tapos makakasurvive na ko sa isang araw. Pero mahirap hindi maramdaman kasi may mga nangyayari na magpapaalala sayo kung ano ka lang sa buhay ng tao.

Have you ever felt the need to be away from your bf/gf for some time because communicating thru phone makes you feel more alone. Like you're alone ALONE because why is he/she not by your side why are you just texting might as well just stop talking at all.

One day you will realize I am not enough. That I am not as beautiful as you say I was, not as fun as you thought I was and not as smart as you knew I was. I will be too comfortable to let you see my imperfections, my down days, my stupid acts. One day I will get tired of dressing up, I will be quiet the entire drive or I will be mad for being wrong. Eventually, slowly and maybe unintentionally you will find someone to fill the void I once filled, someone prettier, funnier and smarter. You will start like how we started, friends. It will be comforting for you to have someone to talk to again like how we used to. And me? I will still be the same me, afraid, insecure and pretending that everything is okay when I am not. Then someone will see that pretentious me and will think I am pretty, I am fun and I am smart. And the endless loop of pain will start again.

Sad, insecure, doubtful.

Kamusta ka?

Yes, it's painful. I remember the feeling every damn day. Why do You have to let me do things that will only cause me to feel this pain over and over again.

I make tambay on random blogs

Ok so gaano ba kasakit yung dapat kong maramdaman bago ako sumaya???