How Taylor Swift Helped Me
I hope that Taylor someday knows the story of how she helped me out during the most heart breaking time in my life.
The story starts in 2006. I became internet friends with a young man from a different part of the country. We were both 16. Years passed. Between the time that we were 19 and 21, our internet friendship became more intense, and we started to fall for each other through emails and physical letters. Up to this point weād never even spoken on the phone together.
Finally he decided to move to Utah where I lived, to go to school, and also so that we could get the chance to date IRL. We did date, for a few months. Unfortunately, the chemistry we had in emails didnāt translate well in person, and I ended up breaking up with him. It hurt. I recall singing āBreatheā to myself a lot during that time. But it all turned out fine.
Fast forward 3 years. It was the summer of 2014. I was 24 and life was going along just fine. But one day, I learned something about my ex (who I havenāt seen in 3 years) that was very hurtful. I got this info from his Facebook page. He hid an important truth about himself from me, not only for the entire time we were dating, but for our entire friendship beforehand and after.
I was heartbroken. I was feeling feelings that I didnāt know I had in me. I was crying over someone who I never even thought about anymore (the only reason why Iād stalked his Facebook was because my brother asked me about him). I was grieving. Even though I had been the one who ended things, I grieved for the relationship that weād built together. I built it out of love, but he had from Day 1, apparently built it partially out of lies and hidden truths. I hurt because as close as weād gotten in those emails and letters, as much as we cared for each other, he never trusted me enough to be totally honest with me. It hurt. It hurt me bad. I remember comparing my feelings to having a hole in my heart that I didnāt know I had suddenly unplugged, and now all my feelings were just spilling out. I needed comfort.
I turned to Taylor Swift. At the time (July 2014) the only TS CDs I owned were Speak Now and Red. So I listened to them. Somehow, every single song on both of those albums was about him. ALL OF THEM. Something in each song told something about our story, the good and the bad. I sang along with the albums as I drove around in my car for work. It was so healing. By the time I got to the end, I somehow felt Clean (and that song wasnāt even out yet).
Taylorās songs gave me hope that my heart would heal and everything would be okay.
And it is. My heart is mended. The holes filled in and will never spill out again (not over him, anyway).
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