This is not a Bot Account

That bird is so excited to play the harp.

Today's Haus of Declin strip is so good

Butch won’t be my companion. He’s like you’re too intense. You must’ve turned on that computer like 50 times in a row last time.

What’s really funny about lowering your karma this way is that after you do a major good Karma action and listen to the radio, the radio DJ Three Dog will be like this horrible fucker from vault 101 we all hate him so much you know that guy? He did another fucking thing. He saved a thousand orphans.

My fake son learned the alphabet today. I’m so proud of him, in theory.

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

france has one job in its historical destiny and it's rubbing dirt in anglos' face but ever since they burned their Catholic Bodhisattva Jeanne D'arc, their Catholic god has cursed them to lose to the awful transphobic bog apes forever.

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

Shit man, this soldier war is fucked. I just saw a guy kill another guy, with a gun. I gotta get the fuck outta here.