Keep My Candle Burning - POV Voldemort, Bellatrix/Voldemort - ~540k words
I'm quicker - (KMCB universe) POV Peter Pettigrew - 100k
There Must Be No More War, The Whole of the Moon, Ordinary World, The Restless Heart, the Promised Land - (KMCB universe) AU where Voldemort wins the Battle of Hogwarts
Horses and Horseshoes - (KMCB universe) Rodolphus & Royal fall in love their fifth year at Hogwarts
A Magic Beyond All We Do Here - Memories of Voldemort and Bellatrix picking black raspberries and falling in love at the seaside interspersed with a series of dementor encounters in Azkaban
His most loyal, his most faithful, his most precious - Harry has a dream about Voldemort and Bellatrix having sex (OotP) & Dumbledore shows Harry a Pensieve memory of Voldemort and Bellatrix having sex (HBP)
As Mad As Her Master - Bellatrix's (flirtatious) Dark Arts lessons with Voldemort
The Final Hiding Place - Bellatrix and Voldemort spend their last evening together at Malfoy Manor. With memories of the First and Second Wars
Oh, Beautiful - Lavender/Parvati
Two Ghosts - Lily/Peter
Stop All The Clocks, Dora's Girl - Pandora/Narcissa
Slaughterhouse, You crown me, and I crown you - Regulus/James
my art tag | my art on AO3
my metas & posts:
Voldemort is really invested in people's love lives
Voldemort has no respect for anyone's privacy or bodily autonomy
Voldemort's post-resurrection appearance was how he looked on Halloween 1981
Writing Voldemort's dialogue, mannerisms, and appearance
Something is going on behind the scenes between Bellatrix & Voldemort
Voldemort is human and therefore he's in love with Bellatrix
Bellatrix is interested in Voldemort's weaknesses and humanity
Who are Rodolphus and Rabastan?
Bellatrix's relationship to Voldemort is defined by her wanting to care for him
Voldemort is faking some of his helplessness in GoF
Voldemort likes physical touch
Voldemort's best lines
'But Bellatrix had a husband!'
What happened between Voldemort & Bellatrix after the DoM?
Main misconceptions about Bellamort
'How do you reconcile the fact that Voldemort despised the purebloods due to his deep-rooted inferiority complex with his relationship with Bellatrix?'
Bellatrix's reaction to Harry saying Voldemort is a half-blood
Bellamort Battle of Hogwarts analysis
The Wizarding World is Christian
Wormtail sassing Voldemort in GoF ch 1
Popular misconceptions about Voldemort
Bellatrix only ever contradicts Voldemort for his own benefit
Bellamort book quotes, part 2
Voldemort refusing help quotes
Bellatrix & madness quotes
Bellatrix blushing quotes
People treating Voldemort like a human quotes
Voldemort's little human behaviors quotes
Voldemort is deeply unserious and Bellatrix is deeply earnest
Voldemort chapter art
Voldemort & Hepzibah
Voldemort's treatment of Bellatrix in DH ch 1
Did the Death Eater goals change in DH?
'Bella' when alone 'Bellatrix' when in public
Bellamort is the only canon ship ever
The myth of "consensual" sex
how I imagine the characters to look in the KMCB universe
#Royal, #ClĂŠment, #Abraxas
list of my favorite fics, #my favorites
Bellamort fic recs, Bellamort fest spring 2025, Bellamort Forever Fest
beta read: settle our bones ch 3; The Bonds of Friendship ch 1, 10, 19, 27; The Heart of the Lion ch 1, 18, Interlude - The Knife Wielder (E), 19, 31; Lily Evans Gets Even; AurĂŠlie & Phineas; The Wolf and the Star ch 14, 19, 30; The Life of a Rose
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Okay I'm committing to rereading Keep My Candle Burning. It's been about 2 years exactly since I last read it!!! It might take a hundred million years or a week. I'm doing very small editing as I go, but not changing anything notable.
Ch 1-7 thoughts â
Ch 1 - Lord Voldemort (Jan-Jul 1968)
I'm making very minor edits, as I know this whole fic had some stuff that I've been slowly correcting since it's been posted, like punctuation different from what I'd use now, not wanting to re-state names too frequently and instead using pronouns to the point of some confusion as to who "he" refers to, too many dependent clauses stacked at the ends of sentences with commas. It obviously has a more fanfic-y, more beginner prose style, and things like sentence fragments that I dislike now, but I'm not editing stuff like that. Unless something were to be glaring. (Oh and I also have a couple small character details that I've come up with since finishing this fic that I want to subtly add to it. Like Visar's shoulder freckles.)
It's so disgustingly amazing to see Bellatrix, Royal, and Rodolphus in this initial child state. Voldemort already being so drawn to Bellatrix in their dueling practices......... Seeing young Royal makes me feel so ill with delight. He is so funny. (A lot of their interactions and stuff here were added later in the editing process, like Royal was not this distinctive on day 1 of writing him lol.)
Okay the writing improves dramatically after the first like 20% of the first chapter. Honestly I'll accept that. Oh my lord Bellatrix already has a crush on him by Easter. Okay it's kind of delicious. Ugh I wish I could still write so stupidly and indulgently. It's so spot-on for fanfiction. What is wrong with me?
I remember editing the first maybe 2 or 3 chapters of this a while ago and being like, this beginning feels like just getting slapped across the face several times in a row, which I think is probably what makes this fic so successful. Like it's like holy shit. holy shit. holy shit etc right from the beginning.
This is the type of thing I'd secretly read without telling anyone; I think it's harder for me to earnestly be like oh yeah and then he repeatedly jerked off while imagining murdering this 13 y/o now that I'm a known person here. I can't even read this I have to keep clicking off the tab every couple sentences. But like I'm on the edge of my seat. Fuck I wish I could still write like this... It's so dramatic! It's so openly emotional instead of trying to be intellectual. Like unfortunately this is so good. Why can't I do this anymore? I think I need to do a writing exercise where I just write something so fucking disgusting and indulgent, but I have no idea how anymore. I'm all brain...
Not everything makes exact perfect sense here either. But like it really doesn't matter, I was prioritizing the storytelling over exact logic. Really interesting... Lots of detail repetition, a couple instances of which I'm now removing.
It's crazy how similar my Voldemort's dialogue voice is here to how I still write him now. Bellatrix will not stop getting tipsy! lol. Kind of unexpected like what. Wow and Bellatrix is so recognizable as mine too. What the fff!!!!!! I know them so well. This is nicely constructed too, like him reflecting on how nobody had complimented his appearance in a long time and then Bellatrix does. I love the ring gift. I really liked most of this chapter aside from the cringy beginning (which is understandable). A lot of this was just so exactly what I'd personally love to read and think about too which is amazing. Yeah no I think I could really enjoy rereading this if I can succeed at not judging myself. I'd be excited to find this fanfic. Royal is so fetishizable
Ffff this is crazy as hell. Jesus... I feel like this is somewhat back to the initial writing quality. It's fine, I'm leaving most of it how it is. This is so fucked up and dark specifically sexually/rapey or similar. I feel like I shy away from that now or like even that I find it too basic or boring and I'm intellectually above it or don't want to be caught indulging myself in that. Everything is clearly SO sexually fucked up. Holy f. Like all his relationships and everything. The murder and sexual desire and the horniness from getting sexually harassed that he projects onto Abraxas... how we already saw him disgusted when Bella went too far... not being able to make himself kill Hepzibah even though he's murdered other people... It's really well-done already. It was much easier to imagine and write stuff like this when I didn't think anyone would ever see it, and when nobody would have known me as a fandom presence with a personality, and when I was anonymous in a literal sense.
So I tried to write this fanfic with zero genitalia terms but just couldn't quite do it, like there were sentences I just couldn't articulate. So then I went back and occasionally called penises dicks. The term "cock" was really jarring and reminded me viscerally and intensely of being adjacent to very cringy Tumblr fanfic/fandom culture at like age 14, and had a very intense feeling that the writer must have consumed enormous amounts of a very specific type of written pornography in order to become desensitized to it. I guess at this point, that applies to me LOL. There's no term for vagina that isn't completely insane. These terms (cunt, cock) work for a certain genre of smut and nothing else (and this fic isn't that genre, at least much past the beginning). I don't like any of the terms and that's always been an issue with this fic, like I don't strongly stand by any decisions I made. (Edit: they're totally fine.) Honestly I'd prefer to just write entirely around them. As I've genuinely said before, if I had it my way all my stories would say "penis" and "vagina" and I'm dead serious. Well I guess I could have it my way. What am I talking about
Would you know what I meant by... okay I have to be careful... female-written male characters being given female emotions? The reason they're female is not something bioessentialist or whatever bullshit but because they're culturally constructed ideas, or natural things getting filtered through social knowledge, and therefore all getting warped into the same concepts or at least articulations of them. We interpret our inner selves through our learned social context way more than we think we do; our culture teaches us how to think. And the places that this process is happening in these particular ways are made up of pretty much only girls/women. Anyway I did this even more than I currently do.
I definitely used a lot of epithets, which I don't use anymore, but I'm taking almost none of them out, which is interesting. They work fine. I've seen epithets in fanfic criticized sooo much, but they don't even look wrong in this writing style. And similarly, a lot of these sentence fragments are fine, they're just a lower reading level than I currently write at (which works so well! That's what's shocking me), but nothing glaring or bad, like it doesn't make it read as lowkey stupid like I associate with sentence fragments. Being easier on myself, or me having greater skill at pulling it off? It's also overwritten, like too much (???? or?) explanation or an action being attached to every single piece of dialogue, but I'm not changing stuff like that just to keep my work intact.
I love how Bellatrix just thinks she's in love with him or something after barely interacting on a personal level. It's so teenage but she was so correct.
So the month/date labels in this story were initially just there to mark my own place, but then got left in. The way it switches months at midnight is charming as of now, I hope it doesn't become annoying.
Voldemort attacking Abraxas... it's so psychological... so many layers... he's sooo fucked. And then saying "I was mistaken" what the fucking hell... Like What do you mean. Oh my god this is insane. Everything's so intense. People are so freakishly obsessed with him. He has such an obvious trauma-induced emotional block. This already feels so humanly real (yet completely escapist) and I struggle to find that in a way that resonates deeply with me personally in other people's work (I write stuff I enjoy of course so therefore I enjoy it). This is exactly what I want to read, thank god I wrote this. Oh my god and Abraxas just already knows that Voldemort has done this really sexually fucked up thing and it's all just okay and they make up. Fuck............. What the hell on earth... I need this so bad. There are so many psychologically fascinating layers already, it's insane. I don't know how I created this other than I guess an unimaginable amount of work lol
Chapter 3: Sun in Fourth House (Jan-Jun 1969)
This is all so much. I can barely take it. It all means soooo much to me... There's just so much to him/this universe for me. They're all so deeply woven together. And somewhere out there ClĂŠment has this old Slytherin scarf right now as Voldemort and Abraxas are talking about it... Royal is really interesting.
Chapter 4: The Black house (Jul-Oct 1969)
Oh my lord Yaxley was supposed to be a Ravenclaw?? I think I'll just edit that word out of this chapter lollll. Hopefully it doesn't come up again, since he was living in the Slytherin dorm in Horses and Horseshoes. This Bellamort is so fun and lively. I'm invested. And the relationship with Abraxas...
Chapter 5: Compromises (Nov 1969-Oct 1970)
yay
Chapter 6: Keep my candle burning (Nov 1970-Mar 1971)
So funny/interesting how he's like yeah the eyesight is "mostly better" and then lies to Bellatrix that it's completely unharmed when she's feeling bad about it. This is fun, I have to keep looking away, it's just too much...
Chapter 7: Nonsensical, and impossible, and I do not play games (Apr-May 1971)
It's interesting how much the story itself hasn't really shown what exactly the deepness or importance of their connection is (a common critique I make of fiction) vs how much Bellatrix's words and actions demonstrate so clearly that it obviously is something and Voldemort's POV is just not letting it through. Fuck Royal is so interesting... It's so great how my past self just like, wrote everything that my current self likes, like of course that's how it works but like it feels so great and lucky. Like I keep being like "wow the way this is done actually works" and it's like yeah well of course you think that you made it that way. fffffff the contrast between his relationships with Abraxas and Bellatrix it's sooo interesting to me... I love that he has both at once, such a guilty pleasure of mine... I'm laughing so hard at Royal, I can't believe it. He's so distinctive. There's so much in this character already.
Okay I'll stop for this post at 7 for Voldemort reasons. This is really good for me, it's really close to exactly what I want to read which is amazing. There's a lot of complexity going on within this. This is the most molested story of all time. It starts off really bold which both draws me in and and gives Voldemort this clear psychological base, but then calms (as you see I had less to say after a couple chapters). It overexplains (by my current standards) in its surface-level prose, but leaves all this psychological depth for the reader to just think about. But at the same time, this "unnecessary" narration is also clearly showing how emotionally messed up Voldemort is, like his perspective can be very off. It sacrifices some realism for less-believable tropiness or convenience, but it works fine; I wish I could still do this. I wish I could still do a lot of this... It's obviously a different genre that I think of as much stupider than suits me currently, but I think it's well-done. I've long thought of this as kind of embarrassing to have up/to have as my default-read fic, since I can write much "better" things now, but honestly it's not, so far. The story underneath (especially fucked up Voldemort and his fucked up relationships) makes the more basic prose not really matter (which is something I often find myself saying about published books) and tbh the prose is not glaring at all especially for fanfic. Like it's completely fine. I'd be excited if I came across this story. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if I decide this is still my best fanfic, since I haven't spent anywhere near as much time/effort on any others.
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It's sooooo funny how all these people in KMCB are at first like ew my lord a veela is literally an animal and then they meet him and they're like oh yeah I need to fuck that. HAHAHAHA lord I want to reread this so bad but every time I start trying (trying = rereading single paragraphs from the beginning of ch 1) I get overcome with internalized cringitis
Have I ever told you that after being a stereotypically voracious reader for my whole childhood, at the beginning of 9th grade so around my 14th birthday (I think) I was assigned The Odyssey and struggled to read it in a way I had never struggled academically before, I think mainly in that the line breaks/capital letters in the middle of sentences disrupted my mental voice so much that it was like I couldn't read the sentences properly. Like my inner monologue would read them as repeated sentence fragments with the line breaks as periods and then I couldn't form them into full ideas and therefore a full story. But I gave up sooo fast, it's crazy... Like as soon as I couldn't do it, I just decided I as a person could not read this book, and I don't remember trying to learn at all, I just gave up almost as soon as it was assigned. This is a mental glitch I had with some other things as I grew up - there were Things I Can Do Immediately With No Effort, and Things I Can't Do, and no in between or any concept that I could learn to do something that I couldn't do at first. I have many critiques of the school system that have already been said by annoying people claiming to have former gifted kid syndrome so I won't bother. I think of this as this weirdly black-and-white turning point from when I was a Reader to when I wasn't a reader, as if after this point I just stopped reading as I always hadâin fact I remember school-wise that I had always fully read every single assigned book before that point, but after that point I (almost?) never fully read an assigned book instead and just faked it with Sparknotes and stuff (they could never tell of course, I was too smart etc). Though it was a really long time after, thankfully I feel like I was able to pick up where I left off and be fully recovered as if I never stopped reading (well I don't want to think about how smart I'd be then I guess). Talk of The Odyssey lately has made me wonder for the first time if I should read it now - and it's really funny how I can tell that I still very much have this subconscious belief that I'm literally unable to read The Odyssey. LOL
I just read The Song of Achilles and then I looked up the title on Tumblr after and found a ton of fanart where Achilles is pale with long blond hair and sometimes very feminine and Patroclus has pretty dark brown skin and short hair, like people do with Drarry... And I was like I don't remember any of that. But apparently Achilles (as a mythological figure) is generally portrayed with long hair and it just wasn't specified or I missed it, and he also pretends to be a girl for a while so okay I guess I just didn't think about it enough. But wow Patroclus being The Masculine One in the gay ship and being changed to have brown skin like okay people also do that to Harry (in Drarry) and to Remus (in the Marauders fandom) oh and James in the Jegulus ship. I've seen criticisms of this but they never struck me that deeply I think bc the whole thing is so Potter-focused and pretty much every subfandom seems to mostly portray the Potters as brown-skinned by default regardless of shipping, and long-haired Draco is from TCC, and yeah James is "tall" while Regulus is "smaller, slighter" (than Sirius... but ok sure), and the Marauders fandom is well-known to be fucked up in that way so I didn't feel like I needed to spend my own time pondering the exact same point... but a whole other fandom is also doing this exact thing. I just never look at other fandoms to see stuff like that, I'm sure everyone already knows...
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How is this real? It's so inarticulate that every time I try to start reading it I start feeling depressed and hopeless like I'll never read a good book again. This should be like two sentences, if you even need to say it at all. It's just repeated over and over. YOU JUST SAID THAT. It's like a poorly written high school essay
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Immortality, power and death: a reading of Voldemort's childhood trauma
Since my meta about Voldemort's grief over Bellatrix's death is coming out today/tomorrow, I decided to post this separately. I had to analyze a lot of Voldemort's childhood trauma to interpret and write about his grief and later reactions, so I believe this can be an important pre-reading.
A warning: this is closer to a psychoanalytic analysis - as grief meta will be - but I won't exhaust the reading by bringing concepts and theory more than necessary.
For eighteen years, Voldemort lived in a Muggle orphanage where, for almost twelve of those years, he did not know who or what he was:
He was a funny baby too. He hardly ever cried, you know... (Mrs. Cole)
During infancy, crying is natural and important for development as it is a biological reflex that allows a baby to release distress from internal displeasure (hunger, pain, discomfort), but is also vital for survival since it is the only means a baby has to ask for help from a caretaker. The most important experience that forms is this: unattended need -> crying -> help -> needs attended. It creates a cycle of trust and bonding that later serves as a foundation for emotional attachments with adults and other children.
Voldemort being a baby who "hardly ever cried" can be a concerning sign that from an early age he might never have learned how to ask for help to fulfill his needs and desires, but also to form attachments, which might have also influenced him to resort to scaring the other children and stealing from them instead of borrowing or playing together.
... when he got a little older, he was... odd... He scares the other children... (Mrs. Cole)
For a child, stealing is quite a natural behavior. It can be a way to test the limits of the caretaker's affection and patience; an attempt to repair a feeling of deprivation and loss, especially if the stolen object acts as a symbolic substitute for love; or even a more unconscious way to manage guilt.
.... New Yearâs Eve and bitter cold, snowing, you know. Nasty night... We took her in, and she had the baby within the hour. And she was dead in another hour. (Mrs. Cole)
What Mrs. Cole told Dumbledore is likely what Voldemort heard as a child, since children who grow up in orphanages do ask others and themselves what could have happened that led them there. They understand that something down the road went differently from other children who are raised by their families. Voldemort knew he was born on the same "nasty night" - cold and bitter - that his mother died. And since births and deaths were not meant to meet, I can only wonder how he felt about this.
It's not unusual that children who lost their mothers to childbirth often internalize misplaced guilt and believe they have caused their mother's deaths by being born. This requires caretakers to be clear and open - and much more gentle than Mrs. Cole seems to have been - to explain that maternal death is never a child's fault. I've found no canon support to defend this as an affirmation, but I wouldn't be surprised if Voldemort struggled with feelings of guilt or fault over Merope's death during his early childhood, which would make his grieving process more difficult. The point is that, as a child, Voldemort seems to have understood that death was painful:
... Billy Stubbsâs rabbit... it didnât hang itself from the rafters, did it?... All I know is he and Billy had argued the day before... (Mrs. Cole)
Now, I won't defend that animal cruelty is natural child behavior, however children don't simply kill or torture animals for "fun", those actions usually also have other meanings. Analyzing this would require confirmation of his age, but, since it's implied he used magic, I'd guess this likely happened between the ages 5-11. This might have implications such as trauma reenactment, early displays of sadism, or even restrained empathy, but there is no way of knowing for sure without his canon age.
The important point here is that Voldemort had enough understanding of death to, when annoyed because of an argument, kill something Billy loved because he knew death could hurt more than a physical fight, an insult, or even simply stealing from him. Voldemort chose to use death as a method of stealing.
I donât think many people will be sorry to see the back of him... [Him returning every summer would be] better than a whack on the nose with a rusty poker (Mrs. Cole)
Regardless of their motives, Voldemort was a child whose presence was perceived as unwanted and unwelcome. We don't know for sure if this was ever something that truly bothered him, but overall this isn't an easy feeling for a child especially because it would add to his abandonment trauma. Another aspect of this is that this is likely a variation of what Voldemort heard when he asked about his father and other relatives:
... no Tom nor Marvolo nor any kind of Riddle ever came looking for him, nor any family at all, so he stayed in the orphanage and heâs been here ever since [his mother died]. (Mrs. Cole)
Children tend to resort to fantasies, often innocent and hopeful, to fill in the gaps of what they don't know. What sort of places Voldemort's imagination led him as a result of no one ever seeking him out it's up for us to wonder, but this is what an eleven year old boy concluded, after discovering being a wizard, as the question "burst" out of him:
Was my father a wizard? He was called Tom Riddle too, theyâve told me... My mother canât have been magic, or she wouldnât have died... It mustâve been him...
Right here is an orphan child asking about his father in "spite of himself", as if it had been building inside him his whole childhood, and saying "more to himself than Dumbledore" the conclusion he arrived to finally put meaning on his mother's death:
Magic should prevent death
Magic has become associated with his childhood trauma, which was centered around mortality and death and therefore became connected with his grief. Immortality now becomes much more about this little child who did not understand that death, tragic and harsh as it can be, is something natural and expected instead of feared and conquered. And what he became is the result of a grief that I believe is beyond the capacity of an eleven year old who never learned to ask for help. Consider this reaction:
What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?... She wants me looked at, doesnât she? Tell the truth [...] You canât kid me! The asylum, thatâs where youâre from, isnât it? 'Professor,â yes, of course â well, Iâm not going, see? That old catâs the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, theyâll tell you! [...] [When Hogwarts is mentioned as a special abilities school] Iâm not mad!
For a child to have such an understanding of what an asylum and "mad" even is, again, concerning. In the 1940s, mental health was far from what we have nowadays. I'm talking about massive and overcrowded institutions that used what they called treatments back then, which can now be compared to methods of torture. And yes, it did include children his age.
I wouldn't be surprised if the "asylum" was a threatening tone the orphanage workers used to make him behave, or even an effort they made trying to get rid of him. Voldemort also perceiving "professor" and "doctor" as roles to be feared also speaks about his avoidance of help as both figures are associated with power dynamic, but also as professions we search when in need of guidance or healing.
I donât need you... Iâm used to doing things for myself, I go round London on my own all the time...
I fear repeating myself, but, again, concerning. What I'm trying to set here is the extent of Voldemort's denial of help or needing others. Despite believing that the Muggle war did play a role in his future pursuit of power and added to potential feelings of being helpless and unprotected, I'll avoid bringing this subject to not exhaust this reading. So far, Voldemort's childhood has been building the wizard who perceives needing help and trusting others as the ultimate weakness.
When Voldemort arrived at Hogwarts, we know he searched for information about his father, believing he would be a wizard. Then, soon before or during his 5th year he discovered not only that his mother was a witch, but that he was a descendant of Slytherin himself, so Merope had the power to survive, but somehow did not. I'd set this as the probable moment where his childhood realization from earlier became:
Power can prevent death
I'm not saying he wasn't interested in power before, but discovering his mother died as a witch probably was a painful truth to realize because once he learned that she had magic and still died anyway, the childhood problem that teenage Voldemort had to solve psychologically became associated with magical power.
Voldemort grew up knowing that his mother died an hour after he was born and all she could give was his name, the same from the Muggle man who had abandoned both before his birth and because of magic:
My mother died just after I was born, sir. They told me at the orphanage she lived just long enough to name me â Tom after my father, Marvolo after my grandfather....
....You think I was going to use my filthy Muggle fatherâs name forever? I, in whose veins runs the blood of Salazar Slytherin himself, through my motherâs side? I, keep the name of a foul, common Muggle, who abandoned me even before I was born, just because he found out his wife was a witch?...
A name Voldemort abandoned when he became a powerful wizard, just as his Muggle father abandoned him before birth when he discovered Merope was a witch. There is an interesting connection with magic and abandonment in Voldemort's life:
... My mother, a witch who lived here in this village, fell in love with him. But he abandoned her when she told him what she was... He didnât like magic, my father... He left her and returned to his Muggle parents before I was even born, Potter, and she died giving birth to me, leaving me to be raised in a Muggle orphanage
For a psychoanalytic reading, whether or not Voldemort was telling the truth, it does not matter here. This is what Voldemort himself believed and, even if he lied, this is what he chose to lie with and therefore is his truth, which might be even more revealing than what is canonically true.
If Voldemort's childhood conclusion was that magic should have prevented his mother's death, then discovering she was a witch who died transformed the problem he'd attempt to solve in his teenage and adult years. Rather than accepting death as natural to being human, he crafted a whole new identity around avoiding this realization.
In a way, power became his means and immortality his goal as both were psychologically operating as symbolic substitutes for mourning and accepting Merope's death and a defense against his early childhood traumas: losing his mother and being abandoned by his father, both events tangled with magic from his perspective. For adult Voldemort, conquering death might mean the loss that had shaped his whole childhood would never have to be experienced again.
Why, then, was his goal to make himself immortal?
Psychoanalysis has two core concepts that might help explain.
During infancy children experience relationships through primary narcissism which is fundamental in early development as babies invest their energy (libido, if you will) in themselves. For an infant, the world revolves around them, which is also why those early unattended need -> crying -> help -> needs attended experiences are so important. This is completely natural as a developmental stage where the distinction between the self and the external world is still forming. Later, as the child develops they start to realize that, well, the world does not revolve around them, and then secondary narcissism starts to develop and the child now invests both in themselves and in others. This creates a balance between investment in the both the ego (ego-libido) and in others (object-libido).
Then, the concepts of ideal ego and ego ideal (both connected with the self) refer, respectively, to an idealized image of the perfect self and the standpoint from which a person measures and judges themselves. Becoming Lord Voldemort - a powerful, immortal, feared and self-reliant wizard - can be interpreted as his way to bring the symbolic death of the abandoned and vulnerable child he once was.
More than a change of name, Voldemort constructed a new identity organized around an idealized image of himself that leaves no room for dependence, vulnerability or mortality. In a way, even the murder of his father can be understood as an attempt to symbolically kill 'Tom Riddle' as his former self. Immortality is not simply an ambition for Voldemort, it's a psychological necessity because an ideal self that remained mortal would still be vulnerable to the very thing he grew up feeling helpless against: death.
Because Voldemort's early trauma revolves around abandonment (by death or rejection), his capacity to emotionally invest in others may have been compromised. In a way, instead of investing in external objects, Voldemort usually invests and reinvests what he gets from himself and others back to his ego. Since emotional investment in others is unconsciously associated with abandonment and death, even his ultimate goal of being immortal to prevent loss became, in a way, another investment in himself.
This is why I don't truly believe Voldemort is "unable to love". He struggles deeply with attachment, almost so much that we could even mistake it for an inability to love. But to me the main reason he does not invest in (love) others is because it's psychologically safer for him to invest in himself. This does not necessarily come from a place of inability to love. It might instead come from the possibility of losing what he loves being psychologically unendurable to the point of building defenses around the idea of dependency. Whether this hypothesis holds true, well, we might find out analyzing his grief.