Reality Ruined My Life

lmao

stop unfollowing me I’m pregnant with your child

#’whatever you find’ #that’s a pretty broad definition #i personally would not be satisfied if i found #say #an alligator in my partner’s pants#genitalia is cool #carnivorous reptiles are not.

is pansexuality not caring if you find an alligator

yes

If the alligator is limp, is it a reptile dysfunction?

we need to get outside

That’s what I never understand about the purge movies, if all laws were suspended I still don’t want to commit fucking MURDER.

Obama on gay adoption 

awwwww

I Get Really Uncomfortable When People Type Like This

by panic at the disco

you catch a lot of flies with honey, but you catch more honeys being fly

Can the science side of tumblr explain why my ass itch

wash your fucking ass

Wash your attitude

991 hello yes there is a swaggie in my house

IM GOING TO CRY I SPELLED FUCKING 911 WRONG

STOP RELBGGOING THIS

iM CALLIGN THE COPS

make sure you call the right number this time

i type with no punctuation because i want to write sentences so long that people will run out of breath reading it and suffocate