lost in a big world

You’re plenty o’ tough, Keely. Surviving like you did and then coming here and holding it together, not a lot of people can do that. Your grandpa is right, there’s nothing wrong with crying. It doesn’t make you any weaker.

I don't know about that, but thank you anyway.  He's a smart guy.  I wish he was here too but he's still back in Six.  I want to see him again.

You’re really tough aren’t you? Miss Porter, right? I’ll let you in on something, I once had a middle aged man whose bandage needed changing and he started crying. I wish there were more people like you in the world.

I'm not very tough.  You can call me Keely.  Miss Porter sounds funny. I'm not a grownup yet.  I bet the man was just in a lot of pain.  That's okay too.  When something hurts you don't have to pretend that it doesn't.  That's what my grandpa always said.

Almost, I have a few weeks of training left and then I can go out in the field and help people who are hurt. But my dad is a doctor and I have a lot of training, so I think you can count on me. Now let me see… It looks sore. It might not hurt but here — let’s put some of this gooey stuff on it. It’ll help your wrist heal as quickly as possible. It’s kind of cold so don’t jump.

It is sore but it's getting better.  Since I got here it's gotten a lot better.  I won't jump.  I doubt it's as cold as the arena was.  I'm okay.

Well come here and let me have a look at it. Do you mind if I take it off?

Okay.  Are you a doctor?

Did you say something?

Yeah, sorry.  I just accidentally banged my wrist brace.  It didn't hurt but I said ow anyway.

I'm...I'm sorry.  I was just going to go to my class...I got lost.

'I thought everyone said he was dating that mentor from One.' Maylee bit down on her lower lip instinctively, rather hard actually, but she put forth a smile before her chocolate colored eyes darted to her feet, head bowed. Her hands writhed together, pulling and tugging on fingers as she tried to choose her words carefully.

Why would anyone want to pretend to date that mentor from One?  That was the million dollar question in Keely's eyes.  The Careers scared her.  All of them did. She knew more than people thought she did but that didn't change the fact that they scared her.  With her gaze still on the ceiling, Keely sighed.  "That's really stupid."  Of course she didn't know the workings of the Capitol, nor did she know what it was like to be in love.  She was twelve.  What would she know about love?

"No?" Maylee’s brows shot up; that didn’t really surprised her, but she feigned the emotion and snapped her feelings, "Oh darn. I would have thought he mentioned me." She then gave Keely a small smile, chin wrinkling up as she did so before wringing her hands together.

Keely didn’t want to say much.  She wanted to see Aston.  She wanted him to explain what was going on with District Thirteen.  Keely just felt really lost.  She had been trapped in the arena and felt lost but now it was a different game and she was just as confused.  It annoyed her.  Was it too much to ask for to want things to be normal again?  Keely didn’t think it was.

Maylee had only been in Thirteen for a short while, but the schedules and the way everyone worked wasn’t too difficult to understand. Sure, it was completely off kilter from how things were in Six, but it was fine she supposed. The days were quiet and she kept mostly to herself unless she absolutely had to speak to someone about the way things worked - the only problem, at the moment, were her thoughts on her uniforms. She knew she’s need a new set every so often thanks to her baby (and she supposed her thoughts on where Aston was).

Aston knew this woman.  Keely still watched her skeptically regardless of that information.  Reluctantly she nodded and rested her braced arm on her lap.  “I…yeah.”  She shrugged a little as she continued to watch the woman.  “Aston didn’t mention you.”  Aston was the only person Keely felt like she could trust right now and even that trust was slightly stretched after she saw how close he had been with that mentor from One.  However, Aston was all she had right now.  That thought made tears fill her eyes and she blinked them away in frustration.

It stung to hear Keely ask that question with that tone. Aston could feel the confusion and betrayal like a slap to the face. If she wasn’t so young, Aston would have been offended by what she said about Thirteen. “Thirteen does exist Keely. The Capitol was coming, they would have killed all of us on this hovercraft if I had stayed to get Gear. I don’t know why Bula didn’t make it…but Keely I will get them back.” As he looked at her wrist, he was grateful that whenever Bula tried to teach him some basic medical knowledge he could tell her wrist wasn’t broken. “Good thing it’s only severely sprained. They can fix that right up in Thirteen.” At least he hoped they could. And he hoped that Bula and Gear were still alive…

Aston seemed so sure about what he was saying, but Keely didn't know if she could believe him.  Thirteen had been gone for a long time.  If there were people there wouldn't someone have said something?  She thought so.  "I was supposed to die in there anyway," the little girl sighed.  It was true.  She would have died in the arena eventually so she didn't even know what was going on.  Was this better?  "I hope so.  It hurts a lot," Keely murmured as she looked at her wrist.  "I don't like it."

The tears in Keely’s eyes were killing Aston. All he wanted to do was make them go away, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to. Her questions made that shaky breath in his lungs dislodge and escape and he looked down at the floor for a moment. “I…had to leave them behind,” he admitted as he looked back up at Keely. It sounded worse saying it out loud and left a bad taste in his mouth as he said the words. “But we’re going to Thirteen now, to the rebellion. We’ll be safe there and then I can go back and get Bula and Gear. Can I look at your wrist?”

"Why would you do that?"  She didn't care about a rebellion.  She was too young to fully understand the concept.  "District Thirteen was destroyed.  Everyone knows that," she said as though Aston was stupid for thinking otherwise.  Of course she didn't think that, but he left behind Bula and Gear.  She wouldn't even be alive right now if it wasn't for gear but he was left behind.  She looked down at her wrist then and reluctantly nodded.  "It really hurts."

Once Fitz had taken over in talking to Silver, Aston immediately turned back to Keely. He froze not sure if he should approach her or not. After all, he just left the one person in that arena she trusted and hell, he didn’t even have Bula with him. A shaky breath rattled in his lungs begging to escape but he refused. Instead he looked over Keely, took in her wild hair, the scrapes and bruises all over, and finally her swollen wrist. Fuck. Bula should be here. She should be fixing Keely. Instead, he gathered the courage to walk over to Keely and kneel down in front of her, “Keely?” He wanted to ask if she was okay - but that was a stupid question. She wasn’t, and wouldn’t be okay for a very, very long time. 

There were tears in her eyes as she tried to comprehend what was happening.  She'd been taken from the arena.  That much she knew, but where was Gear?  When she looked around she saw Aston, the Careers from District One, and their mentors.  Keely subconsciously put as much room between her and the Careers as possible.  The mentor, the one she'd seen with Aston before, kept looking at her and it made Keely feel anxious.  When Aston came before she bit down on her lower lip, still keeping her wrist cradled against her chest.  "Where's Gear?  Where's Bula?  What's going on," she whined.  Nothing was making sense and after the hell of the arena, it would take a lot to make less sense than volcanoes and avalanches.

"We’ll just keep an extra careful look out." They’ve made it this far, and Gear had some experience with creating shelter, as it was one of the stations he spent the most time at. Keely certainly had some good ideas, and maybe she spent time at the station as well, because their little plan was coming together. They just needed to find a tree. And some branches. One step at a time. Gear spared a quick glance towards the mountain turned volcano. There didn’t seem to be any drastic changes yet… They still had time. 

This entire experience seemed like a dream.  A very terrible dream, but a dream nonetheless.  Keely hated it.  Her limbs felt like lead because she’d never had to walk so far or so much in a short amount of time before.  Her wrist was throbbing painfully and swelling even as she kept it cradled close to her chest.  All she wanted to do was stop, but she couldn’t stop.  Aston and Bula were watching her.  Her grandpa was watching her.  They wouldn’t want her to stop, so begrudgingly Keely put one foot in front of the other.

"There’s not much coverage by the water," he said, as he came to a stop, taking a moment to take in the landscape, though he’s looked over it what felt like a hundred times now. But Keely was right. They needed to be smart about this, and continuing on the ravine would only waste time at this point. With the earthquake, Gear doubted the cave was still intact, and sure, there could be other caves, but he certainly no longer felt safe there. Not when there were earthquakes in play now. It would be too easy to find themselves trapped in the ravine. "But I’m sure we can figure something out."

Keely nodded.  Gear was right that there wasn’t a lot of coverage by the water, but it was also the place they needed to be.  They only had two canisters of water.  They would constantly have to be hiking back towards the river if they left it.  They’d need the water since there wasn’t any water anywhere else.  “Yeah we can.  The earthquake might have knocked over some trees.  We might get lucky and be able to make a little hiding place between downed trees and the branches from them.”  Keely didn’t know if they would get that lucky, but she was trying to be optimistic.

"Maybe just the side of the river the volcano’s on." Gear glanced back at the river. "I doubt they’d destroy the river though, given how its the one source of clean drinking water." Although, he wouldn’t put it past the Gamemakers. It felt as though they were rushing the events of the Game. Or maybe he only felt that way because he was participating now, as opposed to being made to watch from home. 

Keely thought about what he said and nodded.  “Maybe we should stay by the river and hide?  If it’s the only safe water we are going to need it.”  The earthquake probably destroyed their little cave.  They were going to need to find somewhere else to go.  If she hadn’t hurt her wrist, they could have climbed a tree but Keely doubted she could now, not when it was throbbing with pain and beginning to swell.