big idiot head

once you turn 21 you die 

It’s like I have this disease that makes me place online orders

sometimes this really weird thing happens to me where i am suddenly filled with the desire to have sex with a beautiful woman...does this happen to anybody else, or is it just me?

I could easily walk through the valley of the shadow of death I would even enjoy it actually

When I was a kid a pastor once said to me "nobody knows the hour or the day Jesus will return and anyone who predicts it will be wrong he won't show up" and the end of days as a concept really freaked me out so every so often, maybe once a week, I'd come up with random dates and times for Jesus to "come back" to ensure he wouldn't.

LOOPHOLE

guy who shoots a gun off once a month to keep the property values low but for the apocalypse