looking at old photos of myself thinking not only is that girl dead but i killed her

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@kcalaska
looking at old photos of myself thinking not only is that girl dead but i killed her

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Iβm already making the call that August will be all of our months. With discipline, self control, and consistency, anything is possible π§πΌββοΈπ·
god it angers me so much. everybody hates on people for 'self diagnosing'.
getting a diagnosis is a PRIVILEGE!!! professional care is expensive and a luxury that a lot of us aren't lucky or wealthy enough to get help from.
its funny too bc yall only act up like this when its mental illness but dont bat an eye if your self diagnosing a physical issue.
you literally have to self diagnose in order to go to the doctors! if you THINK you have an infection you go to the doctors. just the same as if you THINK you have adhd, depression or whatever.
its just that professional help in the mental illness area is a lot more scarce and expensive so people have to go without official diagnosis! like im sorry but if i want to literally kms every day, i dont need a doctor to tell me i have depression.
its all pro mental health and "speak up if youre struggling" but as soon as someone does speak up, theyre bashed for "self diagnosing" or theyre "attention seeking".
itβs as simple as not eating.
really, it is.
the only thing that is standing in front of you and finally being able to live your life in a body that you love is completely in your control⦠so act like it.
if youβre tired of living in a fat personβs body, then stop eating like a fat person.
go take a nap, go read, go scroll. you can do anything you want as long as your are not adding unnecessary calories and fat onto your body.
Ottessa Moshfegh, My Year of Rest and Relaxation

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Oh to be a medieval apothecary and have dried herbs in little jars all through my dimly-lit shop
How the fuck am I supposed to live like this. What the actual fuck.
sincerely and whole-heartedly, because ive been seeing a lot of weird shit other places recently and it bugs the shit out of me, i love men. unapologetically, even. its not unfortunate. its not "get well soon". i love men and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. theyre wonderful and sweet and gorgeous and im not ashamed to love them.
You deserve to feel safe. And I hope one day you feel it.
βI think I will always be lonely in this world,β
β Mary Oliver, from House of Light: Poems; βLilies,β published c. 1992

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Alice Walker, "No Better Life." Absolute Trust in the Goodness of the Earth
just bcoz im self-aware doesnt mean im in control
AAAAAAHHHHHH AGONY!!!!! AGONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways hehe how is everyone

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You were the glimpse of sunshine during my rainstorm, and together we created the worldβs most beautiful rainbow.Β
oh to be in a silk nightgown in front of a vanity removing my makeup while my partner lies in bed watching me lovingly