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we're not kids anymore.
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#extradirty

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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@alwaysabandoned

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I feel so disconnected from people lately, everything just feels fake and temporary.
all roads lead back to the loneliness i felt as a child

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happy self inflicted suffering saturday
getting teary eyed thinking about gerda gottlieb's paintings of her wife after she transitioned
thing is, for a lot of these paintings it wasn’t “after” lily elbe’s transition. there was no after to it. the one op posted was painted in 1928. this was 2 years before lily legally changed her name and began undergoing revolutionary gender affirming procedures. unfortunately she died due to complications of an experimental uterine transplant in 1931.
up until that point, during the day lily continued to dress in masculine clothing and even attended galleries showing gottlieb’s paintings of her. which was kind of iconic. she got to stand in a room full of people who were marveling her beauty, not knowing she was right next to them. it must have been such a cute little secret for them as a couple.
here’s gerda and lilly together
not to mention that for most people there is no real “after” to a transition. especially for these trans historical figures who had to balance identity and safety at all times.
i think having a wife paint these portraits must have felt really amazing for lily. to be able to see herself through the eyes of someone who loved her. i’m very much seconding op on the getting teary eyed.
here are some of my favorite gottleib lily paintings

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they hate me for my slut waist and recurring self harming behavior
who doesn't love a Don't Kill Yourself Cake™
i dont like that i have a body it makes me very uncomfortable living in this flesh thing get it off me
Nikita Gill, from “Great Goddesses: Life Lessons from Myths & Monsters,”
this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

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somatic symptoms of anxiety are so fucked. what do you mean I got so scared my body decided that it needed to add nausea and headache and dizzy to the situation. how is it helping
sometimes i like to pretend that im not sick and then the monkeys in my head remind me that i have an eating disorder