Claire Keane
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@kayrisa

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hayley williams, kilby block party festival
sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.
People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought Iād get right to the heart of the matter
[The artist, putting a simple cake next to a much fancier one: āAw man, that guyās cake is way better than mine.ā The Audience, gleefully holding up a knife and fork āHOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!ā]
additions from the og artist (credit)
āHoly shit two cakes,ā I mutter to myself as I do fucking anything these days, this post was a godsend
Unfortunately my third eye IS open and I know for a fact that in-universe the Shane Hollander/Hayden Pike (b. 1990) tag on Ao3 is three times bigger than the Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov tag. However both of these tags are dwarfed by the Ilya Rozanov/Clifford "Cliff" Marleau tag.

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They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesnāt like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if thereās anything they need to do to help
After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says thereās nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, itās just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly
And Ilya is like. But. Iām the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?
Ilyaās life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced theyāre all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilyaās hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when heās causing problems on purpose
Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god Iām not Anyaās dad Iām her brother and she thinks weāre both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.
Ilya finds an odd picture of Shane in a photo album at one point. He's maybe three, he's sitting on the massive purple sofa that Ilya has discovered the Hollanders owned when Shane was born. He's frowning, red-cheeked and he's got a strange plastic case on his thumb.
"Yuna," he says, shifting his elbows on the table to point at it. "What is this on his hand? Was broken?"
Shane's head snaps up from across the table, where he's pretending that Photo Album Time is very boring to him and not worth paying attention to. He hasn't scrolled on the article he's pretending to read for over five minutes.
"I never broke a bone as a kid," he says, brows furrowed. "Not until U13, when that fucking kid from Guelph--"
Yuna and Shane both inhale quickly through their noses in what Ilya has learned to recognize as a moderative measure, lest they start yelling about something that everyone else on Earth has forgotten about.
"No," Yuna says, once her face looks a little less intense. "No, it wasn't broken. It was this...contraption that the dentist gave us to correct his thumb-sucking. He was so mad about it, we only put it on him a few times."
"Oh, Jesus," Shane mutters, eyes going back to his phone.
"Aw," Ilya says. "Poor baby Shane." He taps his finger against one little red cheek and laughs. "You really do look so mad, sweetheart. How did you make him stop?"
"Hmm...you know, I don't remember," Yuna sighs, tilting her head. "I guess he just stopped by himself eventually. Do you remember, Shane?"
"No," Shane says, shortly.
"Of course, that didn't get rid of the oral fixation," Yuna sighs, adjusting her reading glasses as she flips the page. "The things you used to chew on, Shane. Pens and straws and--"
"Mom," Shane snaps, while Ilya vibrates beside him. "Can we not?"
"I was afraid to give him popsicles because I thought he would gnaw on the sticks until he got a splinter in his stomach."
"Mom!"
"Well, honey, it's true! And you did outgrow it eventually, so it's not as if you have to be embarrassed."
"Oh, you did?" Ilya says, shoulders shaking. "You outgrew the, uh, oral fixation?"
"Stop," Shane hisses.
"Mm. Excuse me." Ilya stands from the table and sweeps out onto the back porch, though the sliding door does nothing to prevent the sound of his guffaws from floating back into the kitchen.
"You know," Yuna says, "I'm just going to assume that this is some kind of language barrier thing--"
"Please stop."
being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.
"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry
hayley, oakland night 2

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"lupita nyong'o can't be helen of troy because helen was greek and there weren't black people in ancient greece"
DO YOU THINK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DIDNT HAVE BOATS. THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS AND HIS BOAT
do you think these people can read
Best comment I just saw "Helen of Troy was perfectly cast, because all these men are fighting about her."
hayley williams @ kilby block party in mixed media animation form!
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
we have dada at home
We donāt talk about this enough. With all the big romantic gestures in The Long Game, this, to me, is one of the most romantic moments.
We know Ilya isnāt a fan of Shaneās restrictive diet. He teases him about it, but Ilya is an expert ragebaiter who knows how to tease the people he cares about when they feel safe and in ways that never really hurt.
Shane is āfranticā in this scene. Ilya has the perfect opening to say something about his diet, and he doesnāt take it. He sees that Shane is panicking, steps in and fixes it. He was looking at that menu thinking about Shane and Shaneās fuckass diet that Ilya doesnāt even like. But he knows this is important to Shane. He knows Shane is already nervous about being on a date with Ilya in public and being with another queer couple. So he meets Shaneās needs without Shane ever having to ask, and he does it quietly, without drawing any attention, so that Shane can save face.
Of course heās gonna tease him about it a little bit later because thatās what they do. But he only does that AFTER Shaneās had a chance to catch his breath and feel safe again.
To be loved is to be known indeed.

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hollanov baby
ilya girl dad!!