In a world where everyone sees Kaiser as a cocky man who probably slept with a lot of people, I actually think that he hasn't.
This man may be arrogant and all that stuff, but this is mostly a way of defending his younger self who felt unworthy of even breathing because the two person who were supposed to tell him that he deserved love, treated him like he was lucky to even exist.
Which made him think he was unlucky to exist.
And of course he grew from that, he took the rage it created in him and fueled it entirely in his soccer career.
But that doesn't mean that on a personal level, the scars aren't still there.
What a lot of people tend to forget when talking about characters, is that sex is in itself a very intimate act. It's an act that screams 'here is me, bare of all of my defenses, unfiltered, free for you to see, analyse, and judge'.
It's an act that puts both person in a vulnerable state.
It's an act that, for all of the control we think we have, is actually us giving someone else access to a part of ourselves with no way of hiding from their eyes.
And this, you see, is what I think Kaiser would have issues with.
Because vulnerability is not just something he has trouble to show, it's something that is so inherently linked to his past trauma, that it would simply be impossible for him to show such a side of himself to someone he barely knows.
For all it's worth, I think that Kaiser wouldn't hook up. I think he's the type of guy to wait for the right person.
Actually, I think he is the type of guy who deep, deep down, think that there is no right person for him, for he doesn't deserve anyone. Because no one would want him. No one would desire his wicked self.
He has made himself a name in the soccer world, but that's it.
His throne's perimeter is limited to the field, not outside of it.
And not only would he have trouble believing that someone out there would truly be interested in him without all the tricks and faces he puts on, but once he do actually believes it, he would then have trouble to open up and actually trust that person to do good to his heart that has already been reduced to only an echo of what it once was.
And even if that's a possibility that could happen, he, again, doesn't even believe he deserves it in the first place.
His own parents didn't want him, he based his whole life out of pure anger, he doesn't even know what love should look like let alone feel like; he shouldn't be near anyone lest they want their own heart broken into pieces.
And he doesn't want that. He doesn't want to break someone down to their soul just because he thought that maybe he could try.
He wouldn't repeat his own parent's actions on someone else, based solely on an uncalled for hope that maybe he could do it.
No. This isn't who he is.
So, again, I think that Michael Kaiser is far from being the arrogant man who gets anyone he wants into his bed just because he can.
I think that Michael Kaiser poured himself and all his bad feelings into sport from a very young age, while being unwilling to go out of his own locked door to let anyone touch his broken limbs, too scared to bare himself and to hurt others.
He would never engage himself with anyone by fear of hurting himself.
He would never engage with anyone by fear of them hurting him.
And finally, he would never engage with anyone by fear of hurting them.
And sex, although an insignificant act lost in time compared to the longevity of a relationship, is still at the core of it two people sharing a closeness based on vulnerability and barren thoughts.
And he is far from enjoying this at all.
