Recently watched Ginny and Georgia. [NON-MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD]
Great show, love the messaging and character development. Ginny and her reaction to things gets a lot of hate, but I actually think she was written really well. I have A LOT of more in depth thiughts that I may or may not make another thread about later (especially on the last episode of season 3) but I’m posting this around 5 AM my time and really need to go to sleep, so my brain does not have the power for that rn.
However, I would like to make a small statement on their depiction of depression in Marcus. I REALLY resonated with it. Haven’t been diagnosed with depression but also am poor as shit and haven’t really needed to look into it so… but I do know that the way he describes it just fits so perfectly with my experience in what I’ve percieved as a possibility in the last few years.
For anyone who doesn’t know what I’m talking about, go watch season 2, episode 8. (Watch the whole show but that’s the main episode I’m talking about)
To just reiterate some things in my words:
Depression waits for you. You tend to forget it’s there until it hits, but when it does, it’s like an old friend. Like it’s where you’ve belonged the whole time, and you’ve just been on a vacation.
It’s not sadness. Well, it is, but mostly it’s a void gets interpreted as sadness. You can’t feel happy or even reaaly angry. It’s just numb. And you can’t explain it.
Everyone asks if you’re okay, and it’s just like, no, no I’m not. But it doesn’t mean anything to say that. There should be people concerned, it is serious, it is painful, and lonely, and scary. But others’ concern does nothing but add to it. I can see your trying to help, I can see you’re worried, but now I just feel like a dick for taking up your time and having nothing change.
"It feels like my arm's been cut off. And there's blood spurting everywhere and... it feels urgent, like there should be doctors running around suturing everything. You can't see it. It's invisible. You can't see the severed arm." -Marcus
So anyway yeah. Cried watching this. If that says anything about my current state /:
Found a little excerpt from myself a LOOONG time ago to really support this way of describing it (this was on the night of my birthday) small trigger warning for suicidal ideations.
 “Why do I feel this intense sadness? As if something is missing? As if I asked for a tiny thing, but got nothing at all? I have everything I need, and anything I want on the way. Yet, I can’t help feeling as though I don’t get enough attention, as if no one cares about me, only themselves. I want to cry, to scream at the top of my lungs, but I can’t figure out why, or how to do so. I have emotions and am allowed to express them, yet it seems as though I would be criticized for showing anything but happiness and gratitude. Why? Why is this, this sadness, this pain and anger, what I feel; rather than the happiness and gratitude I know I should be? We celebrated my 12th birthday today, the exact way I wanted to, yet I feel as though it’s not right. As if no one ever listens, as if no one ever cares; almost as if I don’t matter. As if I could kill myself right now, and no one would even care to grieve.”
Obvi a liittle dramatic, but still. You get the point. It really does feel like this all encompassing void. And I knew I should’ve been happy, I didn’t want to be sad. I just couldn’t figure out how to stop it.
Take it woth a grain of salt because I was 12 and didn’t have much of a support system (we moved too much for me to make friends- yet another reason I resonate with this show) but if I were to get a diagnosis, this would be a main piece of evidence.
