births, blog & backchat

Hi Kat, Our beautiful baby boy, Coen, arrived on Friday night at 11pm. 

The pessimistic cynic in me never imagined we’d be one of those couples writing one of these emails but boy was all of your magical hynpobirthing wisdom the most helpful and brilliant thing. 

Danni felt the twinges early Friday morning, stayed silent as you suggested, got on with her day and went out for lunch with her best friend. At 1.30 she rang me to say I might want to come home early from work (but it was fine for me to still get my haircut at 2!!). I got back at 3pm to find her listening to you and your tracks. 

Spent the next hour blacking out the windows and putting up the pool and then got on with some soft touch massage, lying on the kitchen floor surrounded by pillows with just one candle burning. Rang the midwife at 6pm after three hours of close contractions. 

Sarah came around at 6.30 and was surprised to find Danni was 6/7cms and breathing really calmly through it all. By 8pm Danni was in the pool and ready to begin pushing/breathing the baby out. The little guy eventually made his appearance at 11pm  after a good two/three hours of pushing - but all 10lbs and 58cm of him needed it! Only a tens machine required, gas & air not even mentioned.

Without your help, the mental preparation it gave us, your tracks and all the wisdom we took from the course we’ve no doubt it would have been a different experience. Thanks again for everything. We’ll be recommending you to everyone. Hope you’re really well, Stu, Danni & Coen. x

You might think you know what a “good birth” or a “bad birth” is You’d be wrong.

Birth is about SO MUCH MORE than location, how long or how short a time it takes or how a baby is “delivered”. 

It’s about feeling powerful, present, engaged, supported and cared for.... The facts of a birth can’t begin to reflect the emotional side of experience and it’s that which remains with a parent for the rest of their life.

I’ve been blessed to meet many, many wonderful people through my sharing of hypnobirthing. Léa is one of the most inspiringly positive people I’ve ever met. Having had a miscarriage and ovarian cancer she’s had quite the journey to trust her body again. 

I ask the expectant parents I work with to bring THEMSELVES to their births; as professional dancers I think you’ll agree this couple move beautifully through the dance of birth to bring their boy Earthside. Her birth story had me in tears and I know you’ll be inspired too. Attitude is EVERYTHING.

Hello Kat!! I hope this finds you really well :) Gaspard was born 2 weeks ago! 18/04/18 at 14:08 (perfect numbers!), 2.7kg and 48cm of love, joy and wonders!

See... we were so afraid of him being super “early” that we didn’t think once he could take his time! He arrived +11 days after the d date and fair enough; he was so tiny, he just needed more time!! 

The birth experience was surreal and totally FUN!

It all started on Monday night. By the Tuesday afternoon, the surges got me into an other world, I felt like I was tripping every time one was happening..until they got even more intense during the evening. I was trying to let go, to breathe, to let my body lead... the intensity was so strong! I jumped into the shower for the warmest water. I couldn’t even stand Guillaume’s hands on my skin; every part of me was burning (the fire of life I guess!!). 

Once the surges were 3 minutes apart for more than 1h, we booked our uber and off we went to Homerton. There, a midwife examined me. It was the most painful vaginal examination ever, I begged her to stop and to give me a minute. Which she did. Eventually, she started again to tell us I was “only” 2cm and I had to go back home. No need to say I was determined to NOT go back home, I couldn’t stand the idea of that long walk again to the hospital exit, and that uber ride, the stairs leading to our flats etc. Guillaume and I had decided we’d stay at the hospital. Even if it meant sitting in that waiting room for 3 hours. I kept on breathing.

She came to find us 10 minutes later, she had read my health history and said she had a chat with the co-ordinator: they accepted to admit me under the condition that if the evolution was too slow they would break the waters and induce everything. Deal. 

I opted for an epidural and was able to walk around, rock around and dance around throughout the morning. Even the epidural was a fun moment.. Just when the doctor was placing the needle in my back I had a contraction. Guillaume, who was holding the gas and air for me, always hated needles. Of course it had to happen: he nearly fainted. Our midwife got him on the floor like a judoka and I had to stay super concentrated not to crack up laughing.. 

2hs after we got into our room my dear cervix was 4cm, 2hs later it was 7cm. They didn’t need to do anything - my body knew and I secretly hi-fived both my baby and my body.  Our night-time midwife was an extraordinary woman. I feel lucky to have met her on that very special day. 

Around 12, when I was close to the « magical » 10cm; I got a lot of fever, started to shiver, layered up my jumpers and cardigans, stuck my hot water bottle on my back.. doctors arrived after my temperature had reached 39.3; they were categorical, the baby’s heartbeat was high and the risk of infection too: emergency C-section. Let’s do it. 

They checked whether we could try to get the baby out vaginally first but his head was too high. I was born through a c-section so it was strangely serene and natural for me to go for the c-section too..Once we arrived in the « theatre » I asked one more time to try a vaginal birth. While the excellent and super friendly team of doctors were getting me ready for the cesarean, my legs were lifted, I asked to be sat as much as possible.... and secretly re hi-fived my baby “let’s do this” I remember thinking. That’s when all the visualizations, the hours of dance training and of abs made sense! 

I remember you saying about that powerful place above the uterus, the journey and the strength needed to breathe our baby out... I was ready. We were ready. 

The team around me transformed in football team supporters, they cheered me up « go mummy!!!!! Push that baby out!!!! Imagine you’re having a massive poo!!!!!! GOOOOO » All this happened very quickly, in such a wonderful team effort, we felt surrounded by joy, excitement and love! 

No c-section, Gaspard was out in 2 minutes - with the help of a forceps but I was lucky to only have a small tear and he only got a red mark on his cheek...which made him look like a badass boy during the two first days of his life. 

We had the most beautiful day. First of all because we got to meet our son, who is healthy! And because that day, there was so much love, care and fun around us. Wonderful human beings helped us get our baby safe in this world. 

Kat, we felt empowered, active in the decision making. The energy of that day will always stay with us. When I think about it, i realize it is the image of our life: fun, improvised, human and always ending up in a theatre..

After a happy Zwischen of long walks, batch cooking and listening to Kat’s affirmations, my surges began late on Saturday night. Over the next four nights and three days, we were at home, taking each surge as it came and staying calm and in control by using breathing and visualisation of a gorgeous beach we’d visited on holiday. My husband made sure I stayed well fed and watered, and read to me from diaries of our holidays to help me nap when the surges abated. We used an aromatherapy diffuser and dim lighting to create the right atmosphere. 

As the days and nights passed, we used more of the tools we had ready - the TENS machine, long baths and gentle distraction in the form of favourite films. Knowing we were well prepared helped us to stay calm and focused as I tried lots of different positions to keep upright, forward and open and sway from side to side when the surges came.

On Tuesday morning we rang the birth centre to let them know what was happening and check they agreed we shouldn’t come in yet, as I wasn’t having three surges in ten minutes. I was becoming very tired but was still able to manage the surges - in fact, the sleep deprivation was by far the toughest aspect, not the surges themselves. 

By Wednesday morning, the surges were starting to come closer together - they still weren’t quite three in ten but I wanted to go in. My husband trusted my instincts and called a cab.

I spent the journey with an eye mask on, listening to Kat’s birth preparation track, and had four more surges along the way. When we arrived at the birth centre we were asked to wait for assessment and although I was having quite powerful surges I was able to stay calm and in control, then tell the midwife what had been happening. She said that what I was describing sounded like the latent phase, but she would examine me anyway - then was very surprised to find that I was over 6cm dilated! She told us we were amazing and to keep doing what we were doing while she arranged for us to be admitted. This was one of the best moments of our lives. 

Next I spent a few hours in the pool using gas and air, chatting happily to my husband and thoroughly enjoying the labour. Then I spent a little more time on dry land kneeling up and then doing squats to help the surges. The midwife advised me not to push even if I felt the urge, and by focusing on the playlist I’d prepared I was able to become intensely relaxed and follow this advice. 

Soon I was ten centimetres dilated and ready to begin pushing. At this stage I was not experiencing any pain at all and put the gas and air to one side so I could breathe more freely. Soon the midwife showed me our daughter’s head in a mirror, which was an incredible incentive to find a little bit more energy! Then the head was out, and I just saw her starting to turn slowly before another surge came and whooshed her body out. 

We had around four hours in the room where our daughter had been born, cuddling skin-to-skin and getting to know her. We were exhausted but felt so happy and lucky to have had the labour and birth we’d hoped for. 

Throughout the whole process we had worked as a team, using the different tactics we’d learnt through Kat’s hypnobirthing course to stay relaxed and in control, listening to what my body needed and consciously enjoying the experience. 

And now he’s here! 9 days later than expected - I always thought 3rd babies wouldn’t be later than the previous ones - but little Elias Bodhi proved us wrong. The midwives kept saying, “oh yeah, the 3rd ones - they are different!“ and they were right.

It was the first time I had to go into hospital for a CTG because they discovered some heart irregularities at an antenatal appointment around 34 weeks It all looked normal on the monitor then, but we still went for a private scan to get some reassurance, but they actually recommended to go for a cardiac scan to be sure everything was fine. The first scare. 

Also, when I was in hospital to do the CTG, the midwife noticed on the system, that I apparently had a positive StrepB test when 8 weeks pregnant which no-one had picked up before  and suddenly the recommendation was not to have a home birth as with my previous two boys. The second scare. 

This baby was very active throughout my pregnancy and kept wiggling and turning a lot - at the 35 week scan he was head down, but then he was breach again a week later. The homebirth midwife sent me in for an ECV, but the baby was head down again when I went for my appointment. She send me in again a week later as the position wasn’t very clear and this time (38 weeks) the baby was transverse. The doctor in the hospital was quite worried about a possible cord prolapse and they were thinking of keeping me there until I had the baby (what a nightmare!) but actually they then decided to turn the baby head down, which was very painless and easy. They allowed me to leave, but recommend not to have the baby at home but in the birth centre, so they could make sure that it´s in the right position. The third scare. 

Of course I was quite worried, especially about the cord prolapse as I felt the baby was still moving a lot. I was booked in for another scan around 39 weeks and the baby was still head down and the doctor quite certain that it was unlikely to move transverse or breech again at that point. By that time I had also made 3 GBS tests with my homebirth midwives and they were all negative. The recommendation still was to go into hospital for antibiotics, but I was quite certain that I would not want to take any medication if there was no real need for it anyway. 

At 39 weeks we finally decided that we were going to have this baby at home and it was very helpful to finally be able to envision and visualise the kind of birth I wanted to have. Before I´ve always thought that this time I will probably end up in the birth centre - which would not have been the end of the world - but after 2 extremely beautiful homebirths this unknown hospital territory really put me off. 

I ordered a pool, invited a friend over from Berlin to be around to look after our two boys as most of my local friends were away for the Easter break and the waiting began. It was amazing to have someone there so I could get some rest, but interestingly labour only started the day she left again a week later. Maybe something held me back giving birth at home with an additional person in the house, even though she is a really good friend? 

As my previous births were both extremely quick (we didn’t even have a midwife arrive in time for the 2nd birth) we had been told to inform the homebirth team right away when contractions started. Which we did and they told us to be back in touch when I had one in ten minutes. I had light contractions all night long, but they did not really become more intense nor more frequent than every 20 minutes. Enough not to sleep though. In the morning I told Ben to drop the kids at nursery at 8am and when he got home we both had a nap and weren’t too sure what was actually happening. I was really tired after an almost sleepless night and unsure what was going on, but after I had some longer and more intense surges, Ben called the midwife around 10.30 am and she said she would come after her antenatal appointment to check me, in case things didn’t dramatically speed up in the meantime. I was still lying in bed when 2 midwifes showed up at noon with their entire homebirth kit ( I had never seen that before and never had 2 midwifes present…) so I was like: OMG, I am not sure something is actually happening, why did they bring all that stuff?? They examined me and confirmed that the head was down (which I think might have been the info that I needed to progress) and they said I was 3cm dilated but the cervix super stretchy and therefore it wouldn’t mean anything. As I was obviously not in active labour they were going for a coffee nearby to wait. They told me to get active, walk up and down the stairs, squat to help he head to engage even more and I think those instructions and their optimism that I was gonna have a baby in the next few hours was really what I needed. They left again around 12.30 and at 1.15 Ben asked them to come back as things were speeding up. They only checked the babies heart beak and my blood pressure once and then totally let me do my thing while they were having tea upstairs. Only by the sound of my breathing they told Ben to fill the pool and after observing me for a few minutes they allowed me to jump in just when it was full enough. At 2.32 the baby was born in the water and we really could have been happier the way everything worked out. 

The recommendation was still to go into hospital for a 12 hour observation because of the positive StrepB test at 8 weeks pregnant, but we chose not to as my other test were negative, the birth was really quick and my waters only broke just before he came out. 

He's a super relaxed little fella totally unimpressed by his brothers noise and constant cuddles and we’re extremely happy to be a family of 5 now! 

Hi Kat,   Well, we did it... again!!! Out little gal is here. Zelda Stuart arrived at 1:54am on March 24. She took us very much by surprise showing up two weeks ahead of her guess date — Clearly she was ready to meet her family!!!

Labour came on really quickly and only lasted about four hours before she was in my arms.  It was fast but quite intense at times.  William was amazing, calm and cool as a cucumber from the word go and an absolute rock throughout, keeping me centered and calm.  Her birth was very different from Scarlet’s but equally magical. As you promised it all turned out just as should and I have nothing but happiness associated with her arrival. I’m still amazed when I look at the post birth photos how much more present I was the second time round.  Maybe because it happened so fast I never had time to go into cat under the bed mode

William has taken a new job back east and we are relocating to Boston in a couple weeks. So it’s all very hectic but and exciting start to the next chapter.  Thank you so much for all your support and encouragement! It really set the tone that got us on course to manifest the birth we wanted  :) Much love, Megan & William 

Dear Kat, We were surprised by the early arrival of a baby boy on 4 March - born at 38 weeks and 2 days, and weighing in at 7lb. He was born into the water at the UCLH birthing centre after around 11 hours of labour. We spent most of it at home and hypnobirthing techniques were a huge help here - Eddie created a dark, cavelike environment with candles etc. and I was kind of amazed that I was already 9cm dilated on arrival at the hospital. I was in the pool for about 3 hours - pushing for 2.5 hours (didn’t quite breathe him out - it was much harder work). The midwives were wonderful and incredibly encouraging when I was flagging and getting tired. And I didn’t have a single tear or stitch, which I’m very grateful for. No doubt our hypnobirthing experience massively helped - we were calm and focused throughout and made it through with only two paracetamol. It was truly the best birth we could have hoped for, and scooping our son out of the water, into my arms, was a remarkable experience. Thank you for sharing the wisdom and skills of hypnobirthing with us. Laura and Eddie

"Guess what!? We have a little baby boy! 

He turned up a month early and it was all a bit of a hoo-ha but we are so very happy and I loved giving birth (even though it didn’t look quite the way I was hoping it would). 

I was convinced he’d arrive early but maybe not quite as early as he did (5 weeks), I’d put bets on the blue moon. On the Friday (waters broke on the Sunday) I came home from work and felt bizarrely calm, I mean calmer than I have felt in years and years if not ever, my mind felt empty and light and at peace, it was a surreal feeling and I deliberately kept busy all weekend so the baby didn’t think it was time.  Then the next night Andrew and I went for a really lovely dinner that had this really special feeling to it... Then Sunday morning I woke and the baby just felt different inside me, his movements were there but much lighter and slower. Just shows that connection between Mum and baby.

Actually it made me laugh as I can still remember you saying... ‘waters don’t break like in the movies’... mine did all over the pavement like a water balloon when I arrived at the hospital... my stomach shrank by about a third!!! Ironically they broke as we were about to go write our birth plan and after doing my first perineal massage!! 

We didn’t quite get the calm water birth we wanted and truthfully I was a little traumatised by it all, and I’ll be honest I lost the plot when my waters broke, poor Andrew kept saying ‘Lou think about what Kat would be telling you now’ haha! But actually once I arrived at hospital I was very calm and a midwife commented on how good my breathing techniques were. They said we were the calmest parents they had on the ward. I ended up being induced and then an emergency c section as his heart rate kept dropping due to the cord around his neck, I actually loved the c section, the staff were hilariously funny and at least my bits are still intact, ha! The induction however, well that should be illegal!!! 

I probably wasn’t prepared enough for an early arrival heightened with Finn being in neonatal but I wouldn’t actually change any of it as it’s been such a journey... I feel I can do anything now. The care Finn got in neonatal at UCLH was off the scale. That ward needs a documentary made about it. Thankfully Finn had no serious complications but I’m actually glad I experienced it as the staff, babies and parents were just inspiring and I heard so many child birth stories from the other mums and everyone was able to help each other by listening and sharing.

Whilst I didn’t quite get the birth I wanted I have been so inspired by positive birthing and whether mums get the right support. My brain is ticking over and I hope to contribute to changing things in some way, I just need to figure out how.

Hey Kat!

THANK YOU! Our baby boy decide to break my waters five weeks early, and I ended up being induced at UCLH after experiencing zilch contractions for a good few days afterwards. (The original "birth preference" was to give birth at home in a pool…!)

And the experience was WONDERFUL. Truly wonderful. Thanks to hypnobirthing, we were able to go with the flow and confidently make new decisions as we went along. I had an epidural before being induced, which meant I was able to sleep, chat and watch movies through two days of contractions ("Contractions? I'm having contractions?") – and Rob could relax during the pushing stage, knowing I wasn't in pain or exhausted. 

There were a couple of hairy moments (e.g. the baby's heart rate dropped, and suddenly eight doctors were in the room and I was signing a consent form in case I needed a c-section), but we remained calm and were able to trust both our instincts and the marvellous midwives who'd looked after us throughout the night. 

The only annoying thing? I'd become SO good at keeping my muscles relaxed and tension-free as a result of your guidance, but the midwives kept telling me I needed to tense everything up so that I could push properly! Grrrr!

After the birth, my placenta would. not. budge. So I found myself in theatre for 1.5 hours while they tried to unstick the darn thing from my uterus. That particular experience was worse than labour, but again: I managed to not overthink or worry about it, knowing it wouldn't be in any way helpful to do so. 

Frederick Zeno Dix (Zeno was the founder of Stoicism) was born on 18/1/18, and he's the cutest, most hilarious and delightful baby ever. He was in intensive care for a while, but now he's home, healthy, and farting like they're going out of fashion.