they got married btw
oh you’re not kidding
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@katmonty
they got married btw
oh you’re not kidding

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2000′s Internet Weeaboo Aesthetic
You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still
Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.
From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.
Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.
Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!
Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?
Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!
Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!
Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!
Mulan: Look-
Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!
[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]
Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.
Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.
Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.
Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?
Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.
Shang: are women better at fighting than us.
Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.
Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.
Chien Po: Real shortage of men.
Ling: Lots of women, though.
Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.
Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.
Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.
Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?
Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.
Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?
Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?
BONUS:
Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].
Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.
Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.
Mulan and Mushu, somehow opperating on the same wavelength: oh haven't you heard?
When I go into ao3, I leave my critical thinking at the door. My disbelief? Suspended. As long as your characterization is plausible, I'll let you take me on any journey and say thank you at the end. Are those plotholes? Never you mind, babe. I will be pole vaulting across them like they never were. Was that a snowstorm in Cabo so they could have a cozy, single bed hotel room? Of course, I'm no meteorologist. Keep em coming, hun. Just know I'm leaving Kudos at the end and kissing you on the lips.

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cuz everytime we touch i get this feeling
2013-2016 Hyundai Genesis Coupe
and every time we kiss I swear I could fly
had to make this a gif LMAOOO
I respect silent marketing.
At Toba aquarium in Japan, after closing time, some clever little otter pups help their grandpa tidy up their toys. As a reward, he gives them ice cubes

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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THE VERY FIRST STAR TREK SLASH FIC PUBLISHED
“A Fragment out of Time”, published in 1974. Kirk / Spock. page 1 page 2
I had to share it with you because I can’t stop laughing, and every time I reread it it just gets funnier and fUNNIER
This fan fiction is older than the push-through tabs on soda cans.
Your grandma wrote this on her Commodore 64.
I miss my Commodore 64
Oh my dear, sweet children. The Commodore 64 came out in 1982. This was produced on a typewriter and probably mimeographed. And while it may seem funny now, it took more courage to write and distribute this than you will ever know.
Reblogged for that last comment.
respect your elders
Children, in the olden days fanfiction was written on a typewriter, copied and sent by snail mail. Getting one one of those letters from across the world was every bit as exciting as getting a notification that your favorite writer posted a new fic.
It’s been said before, but the fact that this fic begins with the dialogue assertion “We’re by no means setting a precedent” is endlessly amusing to me.
Diane Marchant changed all our lives. May she rest in peace.
The precedent line is especially amusing when you bear in mind that “A Fragment Out of Time” is not only the first Star Trek slashfic to be published in a widely distributed magazine: it’s believed by some to be the first slashfic of any kind to be widely published.
In 1974 it was illegal to send pornography through the USPS. So distributing fic like this via mailed newsletter was literally dangerous. And they knew it.
play ball!
Awwwwww I love happy endings
floating loafs on several degrees of squish
THE PITT 2.14 • 8:00 P.M.

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An experiment in language change
Nifty little language game here.
I can read back to 1500 with basically no difficulty
at 1400 I have to read slowly and carefully, but I can understand all of it save a couple words
at 1300 I can still comprehend most of it if I read slowly, but a much larger percentage of the words are unfamiliar to me, even with context
1200 and earlier are almost totally unintelligible
Yeah, I did great til 1200. I've read Chaucer in the original middle English, but had to read a side by side translation of Beowulf.
THE PITT (2025-) 2.12 | 6:00PM