incredibly brave of me to get through the days

this test apparently tells you how narcissistic you are on a scale of 0 - 40. most people are under 20…i got a 35 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

LGBT stands for Lets Guillotine Billionaires Together

what is a rival if not a crush ur mad about having

don’t play with my head like this

Demons are usually depicted as red to indicate that they're heavily seasoned with paprika and chili powder, like a chorizo.

star trek where everything’s the same but instead of saying “fascinating” Spock says “wild”

Don’t like it? Become God

I wish I could terrorize ancient people with things that are commonplace today

releasing a roomba into the greek forums

A child eating a cake in the middle of the night is having a great time. An adult eating a cake in the middle of the night is having a terrible time.

It’s only fanfic if it’s from the Fanfique region of France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling pornography.