κάθαρσις

I’m a really fucking good Dramaturg! 

I’m smart, and capable, and have “a breadth of knowledge” and good ideas and contribute good things!

My radical empathy and Mom Friend™ Tendencies helps people trust me and hence listen to what I have to say!

I like doing Dramaturgy and I will continue to pursue it!

I had a dream that I was watching a tutorial for knitting or pottery or a recipe or makeup or something with my friend Zoe (and we were at Bethesda, for some reason, by the Perestroika bridge) and the soundtrack of the video was arbitrarily Justin Vivian Bond singing ‘Clean White Bed’ and I got emo and Zoe was like “wow I didn’t think you’d get verklempt over crafting videos” and that was legit the dream.

Rodolfo told me today that I think/write like a director, also like a Dramaturg (as I ought to), but he said predominantly I seem like a director and I was like ✨😮✨ because he said he meant that in a good way meaning that I’m smart, but also I felt SO uncomfortable in my directing class that I figured I’d be a terrible director but he think’s I’d be a natural so that’s interesting and surprising!

I got really excited about the prospect of Ukulele Benefit Concerts (AKA busking) once I acquire one and learn how to play it, so I can earn money for the Sebastian Memorial Fund for HMI because even if I can’t get any money I’ll be doing what he did and maybe making someone’s day better and I think putting music out into the world will be a good thing no matter what (even if I suck which is a totally plausible thing since when it comes to music I’m not knowledgable and any talent I have is solely because I’m me and I deserve to sing not because I’m a Musician™

Side note, going off that, I need to find a Musician™ who can transcribe what I know of Sebastian’s song ‘Ophelia’ into Theory so I can put it in this project: 🌼💕👻💕🌼 and I was thinking last night that it’d be so cool if I could complete the project in time to show Kate Bornstein but I think they’d be more proud of me for taking my time to do my best for Sebastian than rushing something out in time for them to see it but with them being like “I’m old and I’m gonna die sometime in the near future” I get anxious as fuck because I love them and they deserve to exist forever because they’re an angel (and angels have no gender).

I don't think I've drawn Sophie Browne since Sebastian died but he was Sophie Browne Isn't Dead's biggest fan, and the other day when I came home from honoring Sebastian at a Day of the Dead celebration, I was greeted by a friendly skeleton decoration my roommates had put up.

Upon seeing the spooky friend, I immediately thought of Aaron Kelly (a character from a Irish/African American folktale about a dancing skeleton) and I was like "Oh imagine if in the world of SBID he were a famous dancer/choreographer on Broadway like Savion Glover or Bob Fosse or something! And Sophie Browne would obviously be his biggest fan, and would stage-door his shows!"

As with most thoughts like that I figured I may as well brush it aside for a later date when I actually have free time to spend drawing, but then it hit me how much I think Sebastian would've appreciated that, and so since I found myself equipped with markers and paper (which I needed to execute the completion of my Halloween costume for tomorrow) and since it IS Halloween tomorrow, I figured there was no better time than the present to draw this!

I hope Sebastian likes it! 💜💜💜❤️❤️❤️💜💜💜

"If the dead are watching, I want them to see us writing, dancing, singing, painting. I want them to see that we still reach out to each other." - Richard Siken

Like for the last hour I’ve been marathoning Kate Bornstein interviews which are all wonderful but of course then I’m crying and wanting to read their books and reach out to them instead of doing my homework BUT HERE’S THE THING I wanna get my degree and my education so I can be a theatre person who puts the truth of my queer reality and my loved ones’ queer realities out there so others who are struggling can know that they’re not alone, and I want to help support and encourage and be nurturing to the Queer kids who need someone to be there for them- I want to help them stay alive and be their auntie KRT or whatever and in order for HMI to take me seriously I need to get my degree and in order to have some semblance of basis to build onto in order to create something marvelous- I need to learn this stuff I’m supposed to learn so that maybe also someday I can teach the youth too and then they can do cool stuff with all this stuff I’m supposed to be studying right now!!!