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Here are some more “ambiguous” phrases which courts have found DO NOT invoke your right to a lawyer:

“Maybe I should speak to my lawyer first.”

“I might like a lawyer.”

“I think I should have a lawyer present for this.”

“Could I speak to my lawyer first?”

“How long until my lawyer gets here?”

And perhaps most egregiously – “Get me a lawyer, dawg – ‘cause this is not what’s up.”

Here are the magic phrases which you need to know if you want to invoke your Miranda rights:

1) “Am I free to leave?”

It’s worth asking this even if the answer is obvious. Even if the officer does not let you leave, by forcing them to admit that you are not free to leave, you are creating a record which your attorney can use to prove that you were in custody. Miranda rights only apply if the interrogation is custodial, meaning that police officers will frequently claim that their suspects were “not in custody” to get around their Miranda rights.

2) “I am invoking my right to remain silent.”

Simply staying silent will not invoke your right to remain silent. As absurd as this is, you must explicitly say that you are invoking your right to remain silent in order to invoke that right.

3) “I am invoking my right to an attorney.”

As stated above, you must be not only clear and unambiguous, but clear and legally unambiguous. Don’t get cute. Don’t get sassy. And on the flip side, don’t get intimidated and use verbal ticks to minimize your request. Say the line with those words exactly – say it clearly, and say it once, and then say nothing else.

Because even after you’ve done all this, the police can still try to get you to talk. They’re not supposed to interrogate you, but they’re allowed to make casual conversation, and if that conversation just happens to circle back around to the thing they wanted to question you about, well, that’s really your fault for talking after you said you wouldn’t, isn’t it? Can’t possibly fault the poor officers when you initiated – if you really wanted to have your rights respected, you wouldn’t have talked to them in the first place.

The police know this, and they will mercilessly exploit this loophole. So, once you’ve successfully invoked your Miranda rights, any and all conversation you have with police officers will put those rights back into jeopardy. 

Putting it all together:

Ask: “Am I free to leave?”

If they say no, say: “I am invoking my right to remain silent and I am invoking my right to an attorney.”

And then shut up and do not say a single thing to them for any reason whatsoever until you have actually spoken to an attorney. Yes, even if it takes hours. Yes, even if they start talking to you about something else.

Finally, a very important disclaimer:

Some flower guides from yuecrossing who’s on instagram and twitter

your parents telling you you can’t have a boypren/girlpren until you finish college

and your relatives always asking if you have a boypren/girlpren yet

parents yelling ‘KAIN NAAAAA’ every 5 seconds and always forcing you to eat even when you’re full and when you don’t finish your food they’re like ‘wag mo sinsayang pagkain ang daming humihingi ng pagkain sa kalsada’

all the students waiting for class suspensions when there’s a typhoon in the philippines

playing ten-twenty or chinese garter before class starts

parents always telling you to do nursing even if you don’t want to

friendster days

parents are superstitious of everything so you can’t put your chin on your hand because that’s bad luck or you can’t sleep with your hair wet because you will go blind

seeing a moth and adults thinking it’s a dead relative visiting them

wearing your tsinelas everywhere in the house (which are also used to kill cockroaches and flies)

going to parties and meeting a lot of titos, titas, and cousins you didn’t even know existed or were related to you

some of your relatives have nicknames that have no connection to their actual names whatsoever

your whole entire family watching pacquaio fights or miss universe pageants

karaoke and kamayan at filipino parties

‘putangina kang bata ka’

your parents always telling you not to read in a car or watch the tv too close cause your eyesight will go bad

parents telling you not to point with your index finger and them using their lips or eyes to point where something is (but like where?)

getting palo with tsinelas or belt or walis when you were younger

‘susmaryosep ang tigas ng ulo mo’

using banana ketchup instead of tomato ketchup when cooking

having religious shrines in every room of the house

parents never calling you by your name and instead yells ‘anak,’ ‘ine,’ or simply, ‘HOY!!!!!’

or sometimes they just ‘psssst!’

when you get sick it’s because ‘palagi mong hawak yang cellphone mo’

always late to everything because filipino time (appointment’s at 9? ok i’ll leave my house at 9:30)

you still have curfew no matter how old you are

your parents taking all the toiletries from a hotel as souvenirs

also bringing rice cooker to every trip you go to

Creator: @jonroru

Date: May 2019