oh fuck this is a really good hill i gotta die on this

rich people seeing mount everest

you know a joke that never EVER gets old is when a character says smth like “I will NOT go to [place] and that is FINAL” and then it cuts to them in that place I eat that shit up every single time

these days if you say you love tiktok people think you're talking about that app and not the kesha song. this is where everything went wrong

bingewatching will never come close to bingereading. there is nothing like blocking out the entire Earth for ten hours to read a book in one sitting no food no water no shower no bra and emerging at the end with no idea what time it is or where you are, a dried-up prune that's sensitive to light and loud noises because you've been in your room in the dark reading by the glow of a single LED. it's like coming back after a three-month vacation in another dimension and now you have to go downstairs and make dinner. absolutely transcendental

the humble "like" is oft mocked despite what it does for us. "like, three people" is a vastly different statement from "three people". "and i was like 'what the fuck'" is vastly different from "and i said 'what the fuck'". i love you "like" and anyone who says you make people sound stupid will be killed on sight

This is the last social media platform where u can be ugly and in a foul mood

anyone else wish they would get roped into a freaky friday body swap situation just for the hope that the other person will go "oh jesus fuck how do you live like this" and instantly validate your feelings of being Strange and Built Wrong.

friendship breakups are lowkey the worst thing ever cause what do you mean this person I used to share every single detail of my life with is just gone

huuuuge fan of little phrases you can add to the end of your sentences just for fun. "if you even care" and "btw" and "I fear" have done sooo much for my vocabulary. if you even care

i am not my mother and i am not my father but a third worse thing

their daughter

“why are you tired? you haven’t done anything all day” the simple fact that i exist drains me. hope this helps

so it turns out that time actually does go by faster as you get older. just like how adults told me it would when i was younger. pisses me off